Lilly Laclare shares her wild experience entering the U.S. for AVN as an OnlyFans model, plus travel advice, taking a break from content creation, and her return.
About This Episode
What happens when an OnlyFans model travels from Canada to Las Vegas for one of the biggest events in the adult industry?
In Episode #69 of the Cam Girl Diaries Podcast, Gary Gabagool is joined by former guest and guest co-host OMGhBomb for a conversation with returning guest Lilly Laclare. Lilly shares the story of her trip from Vancouver to Las Vegas for AVN, where an unexpected encounter at the border turned a simple trip into a stressful experience filled with questions about her work, her plans in the U.S., and whether she was entering the country to engage in sex work.
Lilly explains why the experience caught her completely off guard, what she wishes she had known before traveling, and why international travel can require extra consideration for cam girls and OnlyFans creators. She also discusses taking a step back from content creation, staying connected with the loyal fans who stuck around, and her hopes of returning more consistently when she is ready.
The conversation gets into the realities of being an online adult creator, from navigating platform rules to maintaining fan relationships during a break. Lilly also talks about why she believes creators should be more open about the challenges they face and why taking care of yourself has to come before the hustle.
And, naturally, no Cam Girl Diaries episode would be complete without some completely unexpected conversation about birds, golden penises, paddles, and Gary questioning his life choices.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- ✈️ Cam Girl Travel: Lilly explains what happened when she traveled fromVancouver to Las Vegas for AVN and why her one-night trip raised questions at the border.
- 🇺🇸 OnlyFans Model Travel: Hear Lilly’s firsthand experience dealing with questions about being an OnlyFans creator while attempting to enter the United States.
- 🎟️ The AVN Experience: Lilly talks about why she wanted to attend AVN and how the experience of getting there affected her time at the event.
- 📱 Travel & Your Online Presence: The conversation explores the importance of thinking about what you post publicly and how your online presence can intersect with international travel.
- 💻 Taking a Break From Content Creation: Lilly explains why she stepped back from posting and continued communicating with a smaller group of loyal OnlyFans fans.
- ❤️ Quality Over Quantity: Lilly and the hosts discuss the value of having loyal fans who continue supporting a creator even during an extended break.
- 🔄 A Cam Model Comeback: Lilly talks about wanting to return to Sex Panther and become more consistent with her content when she is ready.
- 🤝 Community & Openness: Lilly discusses why being open about the struggles creators experience could help other models feel less alone.
Meet the Guest & Hosts
OMGhBomb | Guest
OMGhBomb returns to Cam Girl Diaries as guest co-host, bringing her own perspective as a creator and former guest on the podcast.
She helps unpack Lilly’s experience traveling as an OnlyFans model while adding plenty of her own questions, reactions, and humor to the conversation.
Instagram: @omghbomb
Onlyfans: @omghbomb
Previous Cam Girl Diaries Episode: Episode #66
Lilly Laclare | Guest
Lilly Laclare returns to the Cam Girl Diaries Podcast for an honest follow-up conversation about life as an online adult creator.
Lilly opens up about her experience traveling to the U.S. for AVN, the questions she faced at the border, and the lessons she took away from the experience. She also talks about stepping back from content creation, maintaining relationships with loyal fans, and eventually finding her way back into the work she loves.
Instagram: @lillylaclare
Onlyfans: @lillylaclarevip
Previous Cam Girl Diaries Episodes: Episodes #24 and Episode #77
Gary Gabagool | Host
Gary Gabagool is the host of Cam Girl Diaries, a podcast built around real conversations with cam models, adult creators, and people working throughout the adult industry.
Gary originally became fascinated by the wild stories and unusual side of the industry, but Cam Girl Diaries has evolved into a place where models can also share practical advice, experiences, and lessons that other creators can learn from.
Gary is also the creator behind the Pervert Pete character and YouTube channel.
Episode Highlights
✈️ The OnlyFans Model at the Border
Lilly’s trip to Las Vegas for AVN takes an unexpected turn when she is pulled aside and questioned extensively about why she is entering the United States. Her experience provides a fascinating and cautionary look at OnlyFans model travel and the complications creators may encounter when traveling internationally.
🎟️ The AVN Trip That Didn’t Go as Planned
Lilly explains why she traveled to AVN, why her short stay raised suspicions, and how the stressful experience affected her ability to actually enjoy the event. What was supposed to be an exciting AVN experience became something she still thinks about when considering future travel.
❤️ Taking a Break Without Giving Up
Lilly also opens up about stepping away from regular content creation while continuing to maintain relationships with a select group of loyal fans. Her story touches on the realities of being a cam model, the importance of knowing when to step back, and what it can take to eventually make a cam model comeback.
Watch the Full Episode
Watch Episode #69 of the Cam Girl Diaries Podcast and hear Lilly Laclare tell the full story in her own words.
Why This Episode Is Worth Watching
Episode #69 goes beyond the usual conversations about making money online and gives viewers a look at some of the less obvious realities of being an adult content creator.
Lilly’s story is particularly interesting for creators who travel internationally. Her experience shows how something as simple as flying to Las Vegas for an industry event can become complicated when immigration officials have questions about your occupation, your plans, and your reason for entering the country.
The episode also gets into something many creators can relate to: taking a break without completely disappearing. Lilly talks about maintaining connections with loyal fans while she was away and why she hopes to eventually return to creating more consistently.
For cam girls, OnlyFans creators, and anyone considering traveling for an adult-industry event, there are plenty of real-world lessons here. But there’s also plenty of personality, humor, and classic Cam Girl Diaries chaos-free insanity, including Lilly’s very unusual home office decorations and the infamous golden penis.
It’s a conversation about travel, adult content creation, loyal fans, personal struggles, and finding your way back when you’re ready.
Subscribe to Cam Girl Diaries Podcast
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📖 Full Episode Transcript
Want to catch the conversation without watching the video? Below you’ll find the complete transcript.
Click below to expand the full conversation.
Gary Gabagool:
You guys are dog people. I have a bird.
OMGhBomb:
Oh, you definitely have a bird. You post that shit on Instagram and OnlyFans, right?
Gary:
Different kind of bird.
OMGhBomb:
Oh!
Gary:
Oh my gosh. Hey, Poochie!
OMGhBomb:
Yes. This is Nikita.
Gary:
Nikita! So cute.
OMGhBomb:
Yeah, she just got a trim. She’s all good, right? Feeling good.
Gary:
My pug is over here.
You guys are dog people. I have a bird.
OMGhBomb:
Oh, you definitely have a bird.
Gary:
You post that shit on Instagram and OnlyFans, right?
OMGhBomb:
Different kind of bird.
Gary:
So, we’ve got co-host OMGhBomb, Heather, and of course our special guest, Lilly Laclare.
Lilly Laclare:
Hi!
Gary:
You actually got interviewed by Pervert Pete on this show a while ago.
Lilly:
Yes, that was good fun.
Gary:
Yeah, except I’m pretty sure you didn’t show him your bird.
Lilly:
No, he did not get to see the bird.
Gary:
Poor him. Sucks for him.
So, what kind of bird do you have?
Lilly:
He’s an Illiger’s macaw. He’s like a midsize macaw.
Gary:
Does your bird sing to you?
Lilly:
He does the “wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.”
Gary:
Yeah, definitely. I’ve met a bird that does that.
It’s funny because I’ve thought about it. I think the internet would love him, but I’m terrified. Remember what happened to Peanut the squirrel?
OMGhBomb:
Uh-oh.
Lilly:
Recently dead.
Gary:
Yeah. Someone reported that this guy had this squirrel and a raccoon, and they were euthanized. I always had that in the back of my head, even before hearing about that.
What if someone falls in love with him, realizes what a commodity he is, and comes in and steals him? So I’m terrified to put him on the internet.
Lilly:
I get it. Some girls don’t like to post their boyfriends and stuff. I get it.
Gary:
Exactly. Basically the same thing. My precious.
Wait a minute. What’s the bird’s name?
Lilly:
His name is Pascal.
Gary:
Pascal. Oh, he’s like… what is he? South American?
Lilly:
I’m pretty sure he’s from South America. From the pet store.
Gary:
I was going to say European, but obviously that’s not European.
Lilly:
I think Brazil.
Gary:
Ah, nice.
So, speaking about birds, have you been posting your bird on OnlyFans?
Lilly:
No. Just not my bird. Either one.
That’s kind of where I’ve been lately, on OnlyFans, for a select few who have been sticking around while I’ve been going through a hard last couple of years.
OMGhBomb:
Can relate. We all go there. But it’s good to know who does stick around. Sometimes it’s quality over quantity.
Gary:
Absolutely. I want the quantity. But it’s not always about that.
But you’ve been… because you know I always do my research, and I don’t have shit for you. Where have you been? What have you been doing?
Lilly:
It’s funny. I wish I was coming on here saying, “I’m a millionaire now. Been doing great.”
But no. I’ve had some mystery health stuff.
It’s funny because we were going to do the podcast last week, and then I miscommunicated with my sister. It’s a good thing that happened, though, because an hour later I was rushed to the ER.
I had a COPD episode. It was the closest I’ve yet been to it being lights out for me. So it’s been a rough week.
Gary:
Yeah. You almost died.
Lilly:
Yeah. It’s been rough. I’ve just been figuring out some health stuff.
And when we were talking about coming on and doing a follow-up, I was like, “Oh my God, what am I going to say?”
But I guess I do have some cautionary tales for the models given my experience. And I think that’s more valuable than me saying, “I’m a millionaire now. This is great.”
The majority aren’t millionaires. They have more cautionary shit going on.
Gary:
Exactly.
So, what happened?
Lilly:
I have some tales of trying to get to the U.S. as an OnlyFans model.
I don’t know how many Canadian followers of the channel there are, but I’m sure there are people from other parts of the world too. The U.S. is usually where all the cool events and stuff are happening.
You have to be a little bit more careful with explaining what you’re doing over there.
For myself, I was going to AVN, which is the big awards show and expo.
I’m not a good liar, so what I tried to do was walk up to the TSA agent and be as brief as possible. I said, “I’m a content creator.”
I’m not lying. That’s what I would say.
Gary:
You are.
Lilly:
Exactly. But he kept asking more and more questions, which led me to the back room.
Oh my goodness. It is such a scary experience, especially if you love to travel.
The U.S. is such a hub for even catching flights and stuff like that, so it was a lot of questioning.
Luckily, I was kind of able to dissociate a bit and really stay okay even though I knew how high the stakes were.
I’ve heard stories of other models having issues.
Technically, I wasn’t lying. I wasn’t going to the U.S. to work.
But some things happened. I was supposed to be going for longer, and then it ended up being that I was just going for the night, which is a huge red flag to them.
They literally thought I was coming in to escort, make money, and leave.
Gary:
You dirty shit! How dare you do that in America?
Lilly:
Never.
Gary:
Maybe America will be home soon.
Lilly:
I was going to make it my 51st state.
Gary:
This is a concern that I never even thought about. I’d be the same way. “Oh, I’m a content creator. What’s the problem?”
I guess they want to see a legitimate job. I didn’t know they were that tight on that.
Lilly:
I think that, well, fair enough. If they’re trying to prevent human trafficking and stuff like that from happening, fair enough.
But at the end of the day, I’m so happy I could be tight-lipped because TSA does not need my sass.
As far as I know, if cavity checks are still done, a TSA agent would be more likely to get close to someone’s ass than I would from the comfort of my bedroom doing my own thing.
It was extremely insulting having to again and again and again state that, yes, sir, I did my shit in my bedroom for cash. That does not equal prostitution.
Gary:
Wait a minute. Back up.
So you wanted to get into the U.S. Were you crossing the border by flying or driving?
Lilly:
Flying. I was flying from Vancouver to Vegas.
They were convinced that because I was only coming for one night, that’s what I was doing.
Then they went through the motions.
Because of the COPD, I have all kinds of inhalers and steroid inhalers. He’s opening up my medical bag and looking at all this stuff, asking what it’s for.
I’m like, “I’m asthmatic.”
Gary:
Because they see all these inhalers and think she’s doing drugs.
Lilly:
They’re invasive.
And then, to my fault, I had three phones on me.
Gary:
Oh no.
OMGhBomb:
Oh, you dirty drug dealer. Where’s your beeper?
Lilly:
One phone is my regular phone. The second phone is to play Crunchyroll because I love my anime. My third phone won’t allow me to play Crunchyroll, but it has the headphone jack because it’s ancient.
So I needed my music phone, my anime phone, and my real phone.
Gary:
That would be my question. Why don’t you have an MP3 player?
Lilly:
He was asking, “What are all these phones for?”
And then they asked, “Do you give us permission to go through your phone?”
I said, “I don’t have anything to hide. Go ahead.”
I think they were so caught up in thinking, “This girl looks so guilty.”
But then I have my manga, my Spy x Family manga book, three phones with three legitimate reasons why I have them, and my puffers.
I don’t think they knew what to make of me.
Gary:
So is that how you got away with it?
Lilly:
I think so.
I think they saw the state I was in and how I was so okay with them looking through my stuff.
I knew, “Don’t bring toys. Don’t bring anything like that.”
So I think they realized, “Okay, this girl looks guilty, but maybe isn’t.”
He basically said, “You know what? I’m going to allow you in. I don’t have to, but I’m going to allow you in.”
And he led me through the doors, and I was good to go.
Gary:
All right. Wait, wait, wait. Time out. We’ve got to break this down because I’m really interested in this.
You’re going up to TSA, just doopy-doopy-doo. What did you have? One bag?
Lilly:
Just my carry-on.
Gary:
So you put it in, go through the metal detector or whatever. How did that go?
Lilly:
I cleared that with no problem.
I’m pretty sure that was also the time where I had a TSA agent do the random check where they’ll open your bag and do a quick search.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
I got through that perfectly fine.
It was when I realized I was next in line and I locked eyes with the guy I was going up to see. All of a sudden, I got this sinking feeling in my chest.
Something was going to happen here.
Gary:
Before you continue, did he look like a neck beard?
Lilly:
He was one of the largest men I’ve ever seen in my life.
His name was King.
Gary:
King?
Lilly:
King. K-I-N-G.
Gary:
Was he black?
Lilly:
He was just… huge. And he had the deepest voice.
I literally kept having to ask him to repeat himself because my heart was going crazy. His voice was so low I could barely make out what he was saying.
And he’s looking at me like, “Oh, I found one. Let’s go.”
Gary:
Going to the back.
Lilly:
Yeah. He wasn’t the one who dealt with me after that, though. There was another gentleman there to greet me when I got back there.
Gary:
So King says something to his partner or whatever?
Lilly:
I don’t know.
Gary:
What do you think he said?
Lilly:
Probably something like, “Oh, look at this little white girl. I’m gonna get her number.”
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
Maybe if it had gone that way, it would have been a much better experience.
Gary:
I think we got one of them fly-by-night escorts here trying to pop into Vegas and pop back real quick.
Lilly:
Yeah. That makes sense. It looked really obvious to them, but it really wasn’t.
There was so much stuff that had gone on before AVN came up. I had told my friend I was going to be there. She helped me get my ticket, and I wasn’t going to just not show up.
So I thought, “Okay, if I’m there for the day and a half, then fly out. I’ve done what I said I was going to do. I showed up.”
But I’m assuming that’s what really got them wondering what my business was in Vegas.
Gary:
I’ve got a girlfriend who’s a flight attendant, and she bops over everywhere. She went to Denmark for one night once.
Lilly:
Maybe I need to become a flight attendant.
Gary:
She wasn’t even working when she went overseas, but I guess there’s some trust built from the fact that she works.
So what did King’s boyfriend say to you?
Lilly:
He was asking where I planned on staying.
I booked on Airbnb, but it was a hotel. At first I said I was staying at this hotel, and later in the conversation I said Airbnb.
He’s like, “I thought you said you were staying at this hotel.”
He thought he caught me.
I’m like, “Well, no, sir. You can book people’s suites in a hotel on Airbnb.”
I had all of this information if he’d like to see it on my phone, which I was allowing him to see.
They never went through it.
I don’t know exactly what the rules are or if there has to be a certain level of proof before they start looking through devices.
They didn’t look through any of my devices. Just my bag. He pulled everything out.
Gary:
It’s probably their discretion, but we’ll probably never know.
Lilly:
Yeah. I figured because I said yes, that gave them the go-ahead.
But I don’t know if, if he never found anything, I would have been able to sue.
Gary:
You said they brought you into the back room.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
How’d that go? Is that like an OnlyFans video we could buy?
Lilly:
No.
I assume cavity checks are still a thing.
That didn’t happen to me, fortunately.
Gary:
That’s fucked up.
Lilly:
You don’t get it on camera, man. The worst.
Gary:
They’re so dehumanizing.
Lilly:
Yeah. It’s just fucked up.
And it’s funny because obviously he did his TSA thing, grilling me and all of that, but then he really tried to push how I should be doing other things with my life.
Gary:
This damn neck beard. “Come on, man. You’re much better than this. You don’t have to sell your body online.”
Lilly:
Yeah.
But in reality, he probably gets closer to someone’s ass through cavity checks or something than I ever have doing this job.
And I don’t think he’s getting stopped at the border every time he comes over or judged and preached to.
Gary:
Exactly.
Why do they even have to do that anymore at the airports? They have the body scanner.
Lilly:
And if you’re going to stop me, I just can’t believe they didn’t look through my phone.
If they were so convinced this was going down, obviously there would be messages.
But they didn’t look through my phone. I find that so weird.
OMGhBomb:
They asked your consent for that too?
Lilly:
Yeah. He made it very clear: “You can turn around right now and then you’re not getting banned from the U.S., or we could find something and then you’ll have to apply to be allowed to enter.”
The severity of what they found would dictate whether I even had a chance.
Gary:
And they never looked through any of your three phones?
Lilly:
No.
Because I didn’t flat-out come out and say I was going to AVN. I said I was going to Resorts World, which is where AVN was.
Again, not lying.
But if he’d seen my Twitter, I’m pretty sure it was posted there.
Gary:
Yeah. Don’t ever do that.
Lilly:
Exactly.
So I would definitely say, if you are going to one of these events from a different country, I know it’s good to pump it up for your fans, but before you go, think about how you’re presenting the trip.
I guess that’s how they view it. If you do this from the privacy of your bedroom, they assume you must be a prostitute.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
And again, I truly feel like if this is to try to stop human trafficking, I feel bad for laughing about this guy.
But at the end of the day, I know that that’s not at all what was happening with me.
I just found it insulting that I kept having to defend myself and explain that I was not going to meet up with men for money and sex.
OMGhBomb:
I would have been super offended too.
So how long were you in this ordeal?
Lilly:
To be honest, because I was in such a dissociated state, I’m assuming it was about 30 minutes. But it could have been less. It could have been more.
I don’t know.
And it sucks because experiencing that, then having to kind of dissociate, and then feeling so relieved afterward… the chemicals going on in my brain totally ruined the experience.
I was on such a weird high from the whole ordeal, from being let in and thinking about what could have happened.
It kind of wrecked the experience. I wasn’t present. I was up in the clouds somewhere the whole time.
Gary:
That 30 minutes probably felt like seven hours.
Lilly:
Yeah. Your brain goes into protective mode.
It was intense.
So I would definitely say, don’t go to one of these events for just one night.
And don’t bring three phones.
Gary:
Smart. Smart.
OMGhBomb:
Only dirty people take three phones to Las Vegas, right?
Gary:
For one night.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
Would you do it again?
Lilly:
No.
I would definitely do it differently next time.
And maybe research what your rights are in that situation.
I had no idea what my rights were. I figured I surrendered all my rights the second I decided to try to go into another country.
I was kind of just under their mercy.
But I’m sure you have rights.
Gary:
Oh, absolutely. You definitely do have rights.
From what I’ve researched, I’m not an expert, but it doesn’t matter what they think. They have to prove that you’re coming to America to solicit someone for sex.
They can ask all the questions they want and interrogate you all they want, but it sounds like these guys were actually pretty decent compared to what usually happens.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
If they didn’t search your phone, that tells me they knew they didn’t have proof of anything.
Lilly:
See, then I would be sitting here a millionaire.
Gary:
Tell me about it.
I’m always watching those TikTok videos with cops and shit. I pray every time I drive my car out of my house.
OMGhBomb:
Because you’re hoping they’ll pull you over?
Gary:
I’m hoping they’d pull me over while I’m not doing anything illegal because then they’re so stupid that people make tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars because cops don’t know the law.
But that’s a whole other thing.
That would make a good viral video too.
Lilly:
I always have my phone right next to me so I could just hit record.
Gary:
You have three phones. You should have picked one and hit record.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
Would have paid for itself on OnlyFans.
Lilly:
Oh, gosh.
Gary:
Do your research. Are you allowed to record back there?
Lilly:
I don’t know.
Gary:
If so…
OMGhBomb:
That could have been content.
Gary:
I already know this. You’re allowed to record anywhere you want in a public space because that’s considered a public space.
Lilly:
Right.
Gary:
There’s no expectation of privacy.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
So when you’re on U.S. soil, as a Canadian, you fall under American law?
Lilly:
Absolutely.
Gary:
America, baby.
Lilly:
You might have Canadian rights too under the embassy, depending on the situation.
Gary:
That’s a good point. You should look into that too.
Even though you’re going with the best intentions and no illegal intentions, the moral of the story is: know your rights.
Lilly:
Because that could happen.
It was scary. My whole story was that I wasn’t doing anything illegal. I wasn’t going to do anything illegal, and yet they treated me like a criminal.
And it is rough because I know the dangers of prostitution. In a way, I feel like my intelligence was being attacked.
Gary:
Sure. Absolutely.
Lilly:
And now I’m terrified because I don’t know if my admission that I do OnlyFans has landed me on some kind of sex worker list.
I don’t know.
Gary:
This sounds like the start of a lawsuit to me.
Lilly:
I haven’t traveled since.
That was my third time in six months going to Vegas, and I haven’t traveled since.
Maybe that visit with TSA had something to do with it.
Gary:
I’d be a little scared too.
Lilly:
I love America so much that I wouldn’t dream of not coming back.
But for those who actually have lawyer money…
Gary:
In America, there are plenty of lawyers who will take your case pro bono.
Lilly:
Maybe.
Gary:
We should see if Jackie Chiles is available.
OMGhBomb:
That’s a Seinfeld reference.
Gary:
That’s 20 years old.
Lilly:
It sounded familiar.
Gary:
That’s for old people like me.
So, you were traveling to go to the AVN Awards?
Lilly:
Yes.
I was just going for the two days at the expo.
It is so much sexiness. It’s so much fun there.
I so wish my experience getting there would have allowed me to be more present because it really is so much naughty fun.
Gary:
So the American government ruined your experience.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
Damn.
OMGhBomb:
Sounds like a lawsuit.
Gary:
I’m stuck on this lawsuit shit. I’m sorry.
Lilly:
Maybe you can hit me up with some information afterward.
Gary:
Yeah. There are a few YouTube lawyers who would probably love this.
Lilly:
I seriously thought I was just a sitting duck. Like, “Well, that’s just another OnlyFans model getting dragged through the dirt.”
And for what?
You’re coming over to prostitute yourself? Wouldn’t you be more…
I don’t know.
And even if she was, do they have to be that hardcore?
Gary:
Why didn’t they go through your phone? That’s what I don’t get.
Lilly:
Exactly.
Gary:
Obviously, they knew they didn’t have sufficient evidence to go through it because then that could open them up to serious lawsuits.
But even after that, they kept going on you and asking questions.
Lilly:
Yeah. He was totally doing good cop, bad cop.
Gary:
What was the bad cop saying?
Lilly:
“You know, there’s so many other things you could be doing with your life. You’re young.”
And then, after playing good cop, he’d ask, “Are you coming into the country to solicit for sex?”
I’d say, “Absolutely not.”
Every time.
Gary:
Wow.
Lilly:
I can’t name you one person in Vegas that would have occurred with.
There’s nobody. Absolutely not.
Gary:
So they basically outright asked if you were coming to prostitute yourself.
Lilly:
Yes.
And what if I was?
What if I wanted to?
I guess because I’m Canadian, I don’t have a worker’s visa, so technically that would be working illegally in the country.
Gary:
Possibly.
OMGhBomb:
In certain areas around Las Vegas, prostitution is legal, right?
Gary:
Not actually in Vegas, but around Vegas?
OMGhBomb:
Yeah. There are brothels and stuff, but it’s not on the downtown Strip or in the city of Las Vegas.
Gary:
So you could technically work in a brothel with the appropriate requirements?
OMGhBomb:
Yeah, that’s something we’d have to research.
Gary:
We’re not prostituting here. Why are we talking about this?
Lilly:
Exactly!
What if I just wanted to go and have some fun?
But he even asked if I was planning on doing collaborations with anybody while I was there.
Gary:
Oh, wow.
Lilly:
If I had plans to collaborate with another model, that would mean I was entering the country to work.
Gary:
Gotcha.
Lilly:
When he asked that, I’m thinking, “What if you were?”
Gary:
Yeah. Then you’d be asked to leave.
Lilly:
Exactly.
In my head, I assumed it was more about not being allowed to work illegally because you’re taking a job from a U.S. citizen.
But digital work makes it confusing.
If a businessman takes a work call in the U.S. from Canada, he’s not getting kicked out.
Gary:
Right.
Lilly:
But he made it very clear to me there is no collaborating in the U.S. for OnlyFans if you’re not from there.
Gary:
Wow.
OMGhBomb:
Only U.S.-only.
Gary:
We’re getting super weird around here.
Do you know the TSA agent’s name?
Lilly:
I don’t. It wasn’t as memorable as King.
Gary:
Call him out.
I’d like to thank him for potentially stopping a Canadian content creator from taking a job away from an American content creator.
Thank God for that, right?
Lilly:
At the time, I remember watching videos about the situation at the border and thinking how crazy it was that all this energy was being wasted on me.
Gary:
No doubt.
Lilly:
But again, it’s not my country.
Gary:
Still, that’s insane.
Forget the legalities for a second. We’re wasting all this time on who you’re having sex with and whether money is involved.
It seems incredibly invasive and personal.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
Shouldn’t they be looking for serial killers, terrorists, drug traffickers, people who are actually potentially hurting Americans?
Lilly:
Exactly.
Gary:
I guess it was a slow day. You were the only one in the back room.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
King thought he caught himself a big one.
You have to wonder if they get a little bonus every time they catch somebody.
Lilly:
I don’t know.
Gary:
After 30 minutes, I’d start contemplating a bribe.
Lilly:
My whole thing was that I did not want to have to turn around and go home.
I just wanted to be as compliant as possible.
OMGhBomb:
Yeah.
Lilly:
But I was feeling a little sexual harassment here.
Why me?
Were there just a bunch of OnlyFans girls?
I don’t know why me.
And I wasn’t even dressed cute. I had a big sweater and my hair in a messy bun.
I wasn’t…
Gary:
If someone was showing up to meet you looking like that, you were only getting pennies.
Lilly:
Exactly.
Gary:
I think the point is King wanted to bang a white girl.
Lilly:
Were there other white girls in line? I was too scared to turn around.
I swear I was moments from a panic attack when I realized this wasn’t going well.
I didn’t know how to handle it.
I hadn’t looked up my rights.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Gary:
Sounds like harassment of a Canadian citizen to me.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
This sounds like a huge lawsuit.
OMGhBomb:
Sure does.
Gary:
What’s it called when there’s a time window for these kinds of things?
OMGhBomb:
Statute of limitations.
Gary:
Yeah, that’s important.
Lilly:
I don’t know how long it would be.
Gary:
I don’t know either.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
Well, if King tried something physical, that would be a different situation.
Lilly:
Cavity check.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
That’s the thing. Given that I was saying, “Yes, take everything. Look through my stuff,” would I have said yes to a cavity check?
I don’t know.
I wanted to go to AVN.
And I knew there was nothing there, so…
Gary:
That’s a good point.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
I’m thinking, “Would I?”
No. I don’t want anyone digging in my butthole.
Lilly:
Exactly.
How bad do you want to go?
That’s a tough situation.
But at least it made for an experience and advice for models wanting to travel.
I’d heard, “It’s hard getting across the border if they find out you do OnlyFans,” and I thought that sounded dramatic.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
But now I know it’s something to take seriously.
Gary:
I had trouble coming back into Mexico once when they were changing the laws about whether you needed your passport.
I didn’t need it to get into Mexico at the time, but I kind of needed it to get back into the States.
So yeah, your story is a concern for me.
What if I leave the country and come back and they find out I do OnlyFans?
Lilly:
Because you’re a citizen, I would hope they have to take you back.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
Sometimes they don’t. They’re wild.
But definitely research your rights.
And don’t think models are making this shit up to go viral.
“Let’s make a TikTok about how this happened.”
No. This shit is real.
Gary:
For the record, if you ever make it back to the States and want to stay a couple nights, we should definitely collaborate.
Lilly:
I would be so down.
Like I said, I love the U.S. I’ve been to Vegas a couple of times and California.
That’s why my heart was so…
“Oh my God, this is a life-changing thing that could happen to me right now if they deem something I’ve said meant sex for cash.”
It could have gone south really badly.
Gary:
Could have been better. Could have been worse.
Lilly:
A lot.
And like I said, I haven’t tried traveling since, so I have absolutely no idea if I have…
Gary:
Listen. They really traumatized you.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
You sound like a victim to me.
Lilly:
Victim of the American government.
Gary:
I don’t know, man. Sounds like you should sue.
Lilly:
I’m maybe going to look into how long I have.
That was not this January, but the previous one. So if it’s one year, that would be up.
But if it’s five years, maybe I should look into that, even just for the sake of it.
Because it’s not right.
It’s very dehumanizing, especially given what I have on my phone.
The idea of this man just getting to see it all for free.
Gary:
That’s true.
Lilly:
And everything else about my life that’s on there.
I even said to him, “My phone is like my diary. This is dehumanizing, but I have nothing to hide.”
I figured if I said no, he’d be like, “Hey, you’re out.”
Gary:
Probably.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
The whole situation is fucked up.
Maybe some YouTube lawyers will see this and pass it along to their lawyer buddies.
Lilly:
I’ve watched a couple of YouTube videos, but those girls were actually escorting and talked about their experiences.
I was like, “Okay, you’re caught. You want to do the crime, you do the time.”
But I didn’t really know exactly how bad it could get even for just the lonely old OnlyFans girl who does solo content in her bedroom.
Gary:
That’s what gets me.
You really think I’d go all the way to Vegas to do what?
Lilly:
I’ve never even been with a guy on my OnlyFans.
That’s never been a thing I’ve done.
Look at my OnlyFans. Go ahead.
But for some reason, I’d go all the way to Vegas for one night of escorting?
Gary:
Yeah, that’s kind of nuts.
Lilly:
It should be based around the content too.
People hear “OnlyFans” and immediately attach a sexual or negative connotation to it.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
I tried to say, “I do what I do safely from my bedroom. That’s not a risk I feel is necessary to take.”
But he just kept asking.
He was highly intrigued.
Gary:
I think so.
Lilly:
I did almost get a vibe that maybe he had a younger sibling or a sister, and maybe he saw something in me.
Maybe that’s why he wasn’t quite as mean to me as he could have been.
Or maybe that was the good cop/bad cop scenario.
I don’t know.
Gary:
Interesting perspective.
Lilly:
Yeah.
But you might not get as lucky as I did crossing in.
You could get a total asshole who just wants to interrogate, interrogate, interrogate.
Gary:
He kind of ebbed and flowed with his style.
Well, good.
Did you get any pictures at AVN?
Lilly:
I got a couple, just of me in front of the sign and stuff like that.
But afterward I was thinking, “Is someone going to look through my phone coming back?”
If I take a picture with somebody, are they going to be like, “You did him. You did her”?
I was like, “Oh God. Do I want memories of this experience?”
I need a redo.
Gary:
Jesus Christ.
So wait a minute.
Is that why you haven’t posted anything on Instagram in about a year?
Lilly:
It was a huge wake-up call for me.
As I said, I would love to travel the world, and in those moments I thought that was going to be taken from me.
I still don’t know if that’s going to be a problem for me traveling.
It did make me stop and think, “Wow. I need to be a little bit more thoughtful about this.”
But I love this industry, and I can’t imagine myself doing much else.
More so, my lack of posting has been because of all the stuff that’s been going on with my health.
I’ve just kind of stuck to my OnlyFans guys, doing services with them and coasting by for now.
I’ve recently got some specialists and really had to start taking my COPD very seriously.
I’ve kind of been in denial for the last five years since being diagnosed with it.
I’m hoping that being properly medicated and having the right specialists behind me will get enough oxygen to my brain that I can think a little straighter.
Then I can be back on Sex Panther and stuff like that because I miss it so much.
But if I can’t give my all, I’m not just here for the money.
I’m here because I’m good at this job.
If I can’t give my all, I’m not going to have people pay me to do anything.
OMGhBomb:
I agree with that.
I don’t like to share that type of energy if I’m not at my best.
But you found your loyal fans, so that’s really good.
Lilly:
Yeah.
OMGhBomb:
Really good perspective to have.
You want it to be quality.
Again, coming back to quality.
Lilly:
Absolutely.
Gary:
And if you’re good at this, you’re meant to do this, you’ll obtain those fans.
Then if you have to take a timeout, even if it’s a year or a year and a half, those guys will be there.
Lilly:
When I logged onto Sex Panther not too long ago, I noticed they have all these rules now about what you can have in your profile picture.
I logged on just so I could switch up my profile picture so I wouldn’t lose my account.
Then I got flooded with messages.
I’m just like, “Oh my God.”
I just want to be happy and healthy and come back to these guys because I miss them so much.
Gary:
Wait a minute. Why can’t you show a dildo in your profile picture?
Lilly:
It’s weird.
About four or five months ago, I got a notification saying you can’t have nudity at all.
So I changed it.
Then I got another notification saying you can’t have certain parts showing, and you can’t have toys in your Sex Panther profile picture.
Gary:
But you can have them in your feed?
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
That makes no sense.
Lilly:
It’s like you’re good to go in the feed, but the profile picture has different rules.
I’m assuming Visa and Mastercard, the payment processors, are really starting to lay down what they’re allowing as far as showing that kind of stuff.
But it’s like, okay, you can’t have it here.
Scroll down a bit and there’s my…
Gary:
That’s my question.
If I go to your Sex Panther profile, I see your profile picture, and then I scroll through your profile and can see dirty pictures of you.
Lilly:
Exactly.
Gary:
That makes no sense.
If it was behind a paywall, that would make sense.
But if I’m scrolling and see it anyway…
Lilly:
Exactly.
Gary:
So the rule is basically, “Not in profile pictures.”
Lilly:
Apparently.
You scroll down a bit and there’s the feed photos.
So you can see it all there.
Gary:
It doesn’t make sense.
Lilly:
It really doesn’t.
But them’s the rules.
Gary:
What the fuck?
Pretty soon we’re all going to be in hoodies, covered up and wearing masks.
Lilly:
I don’t know about that.
Gary:
What the fuck?
Lilly:
You’ve got to guess my cup size. That could be a fun game.
OMGhBomb:
Pasties.
Lilly:
It could be.
Gary:
Yeah.
So things are getting kind of weird as far as that goes.
Lilly:
Yeah.
I logged in to switch that up, and I was like, “I just want to be okay and be okay enough to do this.”
I’m hopeful that the light at the end of the tunnel is coming now that I’m taking my health seriously and actually have specialists behind me.
OMGhBomb:
So is your health the main reason you’re taking a step back?
Lilly:
Yeah.
When you’re having a much harder time in your day-to-day trying to breathe and you’re not properly medicated, you’re not getting proper oxygen to your brain.
You’re not making good, healthy choices that could help you get healthier.
After my lease was up, I moved in with my mom, and she’s really been assisting me through all of this.
Which sounds so pathetic because I’m a grown-ass woman, but when you lose a function because you’re not capable of thinking straight, there goes your memory.
There goes your ability to make good choices and commit.
Every cam model has heard it in videos: commitment is what allows you to grow and thrive.
I knew that commitment was completely shot because of the way my brain was functioning.
So take your health seriously.
Don’t be in denial, even if you’re scared of a diagnosis.
Because all you’re going to do is wither away.
No matter how good you are at this job, if you don’t have your mental capacities, you’re fogged.
Gary:
You’ve got to have that titanium, steel-trap brain.
Lilly:
Yeah.
OMGhBomb:
But your mental health is important, you guys.
Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed.
And reach out if you need to talk to somebody.
I’m always down to talk to people about their mental struggles or anything like that.
Lilly:
Community is definitely needed in this.
Especially after going through health stuff.
Gary:
Yeah.
You could be amazing at this, but you will slowly deteriorate if you let your health go.
Take that seriously.
OMGhBomb:
Kudos to you for being self-aware and doing that.
Do you feel like you’re on the path to get back to where you want to be?
Lilly:
I do.
My last stint in the hospital, the doctor really laid into me about the severity of even going one day without taking my steroid inhaler.
In my head, it’s almost like, “Well, if I don’t feel like I need it, it doesn’t matter.”
But it does matter.
Take it.
I’m feeling like I have a team behind me now, whereas I kind of thought I was all by myself trying to deal with this.
After the last few hospital visits, I think people understood that I wasn’t taking this seriously.
So they’re going to have to hover until I do.
After this last one, I’ll do whatever it takes to not put myself in that position again.
And not only that, my poor mother had to go through it and witness her daughter literally struggling to breathe.
My oxygen was so low they couldn’t even administer the IV steroid because my body wasn’t at the level needed to accept the medication.
She was literally holding me up while I was breathing on one muscle in my back.
OMGhBomb:
Yeah.
Lilly:
It got real.
Gary:
Beyond scared straight definitely works.
My mother just got diagnosed with COPD too, actually. It’s been a nightmare.
Lilly:
Yeah. It’s no joke.
And it’s not just asthma.
I thought, “Oh, it’s asthma.”
It’s like, no. It’s not.
Gary:
Yeah.
I thought she was dying.
Not to be dramatic, but for a second there…
Lilly:
Yeah.
It’s scary.
Gary:
Take your health seriously because without that, you have nothing.
There’s a YouTube creator, Austin McConnell, I think.
He had a heart issue and actually documents his struggle with it and what he went through.
It sounds like the same kind of thing you’ve experienced.
It broke him down and made it difficult to create even though he wanted to.
You might want to check him out because you could probably relate.
Lilly:
Yeah.
It’s funny you say that because I thought, “Should I maybe think about creating vlogs and stuff like that?”
Something that would allow others to be more accepting of living life and still trying to achieve your dreams even though you’re diagnosed with something scary.
But I’m like, how about we just start with being able to show up one day a week on Sex Panther and take care of my OnlyFans guys?
Go from there.
Gary:
Yeah. Do your best. That’s all you can do.
If you’re doing that and you’re trying, then you’re doing something.
Lilly:
Not giving up.
Like I said, I love this industry, so I’m definitely not giving up on it.
Gary:
Hell yeah.
So you still do OnlyFans?
Lilly:
Yeah.
Mostly communicating and doing services through my direct messages.
I’m not promoting it or anything like that.
But if anyone wants custom video calls, I still do that stuff.
It’s just for the select few who have stuck through this whole ordeal with me.
Gary:
Have you been posting any vlog-type stuff about it on your OnlyFans, or have you been staying away from that?
Lilly:
I’ve been thinking about it.
This experience has made me realize how important that kind of openness can be, especially in this industry.
I don’t know too many girls who are open about this, and I think that makes other people feel like they have to hide.
Maybe in the near future something like that will be coming.
I’ve been pretty open with the guys.
Sometimes they’ll want to do a show and I’ll say, “I’m sorry, but there’s no way.”
OMGhBomb:
Yeah.
Good for you.
That’s smart.
Gary:
People might actually enjoy that kind of content because it’s personal.
At the end of the day, if you’re doing this version of the industry and not just porn, the guys want that connection.
They want the humanity of it.
Don’t be afraid to open up about what’s going on.
Obviously, there’s a limit to how much you should share.
You don’t need to tell people your entire life story. This is the internet, after all.
But when it comes to illness and things like that, being open can help people understand why you’re not around.
Lilly:
My fear is that all these guys think I’ve run off with some rich guy and I’m living it up.
When the reality is the exact opposite.
Gary:
Rich guys to the front, by the way.
Lilly:
Come on down.
Gary:
I had no idea because I assumed you just took a break.
A lot of girls take a break from everything.
I didn’t know it was this serious.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
I wish you were a millionaire just living your life.
Lilly:
Me too.
Gary:
Well, we’ll get there.
You’ve got to have that attitude.
Pretend it’s 1986. Eye of the Tiger.
Lilly:
Yes. That’s right.
OMGhBomb:
I know Eye of the Tiger.
Gary:
Rocky IV.
OMGhBomb:
Yeah.
Gary:
American shit.
Lilly:
I’m sure there are plenty of guys out there who understand your references, Gary.
Gary:
Nobody understands anything I say.
I’m one for two.
OMGhBomb:
Fifty percent. Nice.
Gary:
All right.
This has been great.
This wasn’t the update I was expecting, Lilly.
But I feel positive for you.
OMGhBomb:
Me too.
You have a good mentality about it and good messages.
Lilly:
I was a little nervous because I thought this was going to sound like a sob story.
Gary:
It really doesn’t.
You’re staying positive about it.
OMGhBomb:
And sharing it will hopefully help other girls not be ashamed too.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
You feel it too, Heather.
Her positivity isn’t a Debbie Downer thing.
I was learning from it.
OMGhBomb:
Yeah.
Gary:
You’re basically saying, “I’m struggling, but I’m going to do this.”
OMGhBomb:
You’re a boss.
You’ve got this.
Lilly:
Thanks.
Gary:
Always a hustler.
Hopefully we’ll definitely have to do another update at some point because I’d love to hear the rest of your story.
Lilly:
Hopefully after the summer I can be a bit more consistent with everything and be in a much better place, especially with the medications.
Things should be getting a lot better.
Getting that oxygen to the brain and getting to live life again.
Gary:
We’re rooting for you.
OMGhBomb:
Hell yeah. We’re rooting for you.
Lilly:
Thanks, guys.
Gary:
If you were a negative Nancy, I’d be like, “Fuck you.” You’re too negative.
But your positivity…
I guarantee your positivity not only inspires other people struggling, but also the people who support you, your customers and everyone else.
How could you not support someone this positive?
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
You’re your own worst enemy with the negativity shit.
It’s okay to be down.
Don’t stay there.
Because you only go down, down, down.
OMGhBomb:
Do your best.
Gary:
Sexy pose, you guys.
OMGhBomb:
That’s hot.
Gary:
If I was into beastiality…
OMGhBomb:
Oh my God.
Gary:
Nikita’s doing her reverse sneezes too.
Anyway, thank you for honestly sharing and feeling comfortable enough to share this with us.
OMGhBomb:
I meant to say earlier that I’m sure Gary does too, but I feel honored and special that you would come on and talk with us about this.
I think it was brave of you to share your story.
Gary:
Absolutely.
OMGhBomb:
And I think he was going to give you shit about not posting before you told the truth.
Gary:
Oh, no. No, not at all.
Why would you think that?
OMGhBomb:
Because people go off and do their own thing.
Gary:
I’m kidding.
I would never give anyone shit, especially…
Imagine if I gave her shit.
What an asshole.
Good luck getting anybody else to come on Cam Girl Diaries.
OMGhBomb:
That would be what cancelled you.
Gary:
Yeah.
No. I had no ill intent at all.
OMGhBomb:
He did mention that you hadn’t posted in a while, so we were wondering.
Lilly:
Yeah.
What I didn’t want was to have more people flooding me saying, “Bitch, what is this?”
So I was like, “You know what? Just keep it a little on the down low and keep those guys somewhat happy as much as I can.”
Then when I’m back, I’ll be back to posting.
Gary:
In the meantime, just let them thirst.
They’ll be all right.
OMGhBomb:
Exactly.
And the last thing I’ll say is, I would suggest talking about your situation.
You talked about it here, obviously, but I mean talk about your situation and everything.
It definitely makes it more real.
Everyone struggles with shit, especially people dealing with severe things like what you’ve been dealing with.
Lilly:
It’s weird because this has made me feel so much more solid in the idea of being more open, so other girls can be more open.
My fear was that people were going to think I was the “pity me” girl.
That is the last thing I want.
This is my experience, and you can be positive and still hopeful for the future.
Even though I felt like I was in such a slump, being optimistic and not allowing yourself to stay down is so important.
Gary:
It definitely shows.
I didn’t get any pity party out of you.
You’re conscious about it and very self-aware.
That’s awesome.
Lilly:
The only thing I’ve really done is keep adding to my little studio here.
I’m like, “So long as this keeps growing, it means I haven’t given up.”
Gary:
That’s right.
It’s going to become…
OMGhBomb:
A podcast studio?
Gary:
You might be a podcast host or something.
Talking about your struggles.
Lilly:
I had to remove all the pervy stuff from the vicinity because I was like, “This is going on YouTube.”
I have a golden penis right there and a tiny monster black creature there that I had to make sure wasn’t in frame.
Gary:
Hold up.
A golden penis?
Lilly:
Yeah.
I don’t want to show it because I’m assuming that’s not allowed.
Gary:
We can show anything. We don’t give a shit.
Lilly:
It’s right here.
My mom made this for me.
She gold-flaked the penis.
Gary:
That’s nice.
Lilly:
She made it for me a couple of Easters.
She’s the best mom ever.
Gary:
Thanks, Mom.
Lilly:
She also made me this custom pink paddle.
I’m really excited for it.
Gary:
Yeah. No, she’s the most amazing mom.
OMGhBomb:
Whoa.
Gary:
We definitely have to have you back because we’ve got to talk about your mom.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
That paddle is intense.
Lilly:
It just happened to be right next to me.
Gary:
Holy shit.
Can someone hold that with one arm?
That looks like a two-hand paddle.
Lilly:
It is a little heavy.
You kind of want to hold it like that.
Gary:
Because if I’m trying to hit you, I’m hitting you behind the knees. That’s what I’m getting.
Lilly:
I was the pledge mom of my sorority, so I had a very large pledge class.
All their names are on it.
Gary:
Oh, that’s awesome.
Lilly:
It wasn’t my mom that made it.
Gary:
You were the mom who made it?
Lilly:
I was the mom, and they made it for me.
I’ve spanked several gentlemen with it.
Gary:
That’s nice.
OMGhBomb:
They like it.
Gary:
That’s awesome.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Now it’s getting too gay for me.
I’m sorry.
You guys might have to do another episode with just you two and me not here because…
I’m all “no homo.”
Lilly:
What if I spank you with the paddle?
Gary:
That’s not gay.
Lilly:
I don’t want to be spanked.
Gary:
Last time I was spanked I was like nine.
You’re right.
I’m just not into that.
Lilly:
If you spank me with the paddle, I’m probably hitting you behind the knees because my arms are weak.
Gary:
And you’re old.
Lilly:
It’s very heavy and you’re old.
Gary:
All right. Now it’s just getting disrespectful.
We’re done.
I honestly forgot how old you are.
All right. That’s the end of this episode.
Lilly, thanks for joining us.
Lilly:
Thank you for having me.
You guys are the best.
Gary:
Adios, amigos!
Thanks for watching.
Be sure to follow us on our social media below.
And if you like our content, become a YouTube member or join our Patreon to get special perks like members-only videos and live streams, insider info, our private Discord, and much more.
See you, fly honeys, on the next video!
Gary Gabagool:
You guys are dog people. I have a bird.
OMGhBomb:
Oh, you definitely have a bird. You post that shit on Instagram and OnlyFans, right?
Gary:
Different kind of bird.
OMGhBomb:
Oh!
Gary:
Oh my gosh. Hey, Poochie!
OMGhBomb:
Yes. This is Nikita.
Gary:
Nikita! So cute.
OMGhBomb:
Yeah, she just got a trim. She’s all good, right? Feeling good.
Gary:
My pug is over here.
You guys are dog people. I have a bird.
OMGhBomb:
Oh, you definitely have a bird.
Gary:
You post that shit on Instagram and OnlyFans, right?
OMGhBomb:
Different kind of bird.
Gary:
So, we’ve got co-host OMGhBomb, Heather, and of course our special guest, Lilly Laclare.
Lilly Laclare:
Hi!
Gary:
You actually got interviewed by Pervert Pete on this show a while ago.
Lilly:
Yes, that was good fun.
Gary:
Yeah, except I’m pretty sure you didn’t show him your bird.
Lilly:
No, he did not get to see the bird.
Gary:
Poor him. Sucks for him.
So, what kind of bird do you have?
Lilly:
He’s an Illiger’s macaw. He’s like a midsize macaw.
Gary:
Does your bird sing to you?
Lilly:
He does the “wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.”
Gary:
Yeah, definitely. I’ve met a bird that does that.
It’s funny because I’ve thought about it. I think the internet would love him, but I’m terrified. Remember what happened to Peanut the squirrel?
OMGhBomb:
Uh-oh.
Lilly:
Recently dead.
Gary:
Yeah. Someone reported that this guy had this squirrel and a raccoon, and they were euthanized. I always had that in the back of my head, even before hearing about that.
What if someone falls in love with him, realizes what a commodity he is, and comes in and steals him? So I’m terrified to put him on the internet.
Lilly:
I get it. Some girls don’t like to post their boyfriends and stuff. I get it.
Gary:
Exactly. Basically the same thing. My precious.
Wait a minute. What’s the bird’s name?
Lilly:
His name is Pascal.
Gary:
Pascal. Oh, he’s like… what is he? South American?
Lilly:
I’m pretty sure he’s from South America. From the pet store.
Gary:
I was going to say European, but obviously that’s not European.
Lilly:
I think Brazil.
Gary:
Ah, nice.
So, speaking about birds, have you been posting your bird on OnlyFans?
Lilly:
No. Just not my bird. Either one.
That’s kind of where I’ve been lately, on OnlyFans, for a select few who have been sticking around while I’ve been going through a hard last couple of years.
OMGhBomb:
Can relate. We all go there. But it’s good to know who does stick around. Sometimes it’s quality over quantity.
Gary:
Absolutely. I want the quantity. But it’s not always about that.
But you’ve been… because you know I always do my research, and I don’t have shit for you. Where have you been? What have you been doing?
Lilly:
It’s funny. I wish I was coming on here saying, “I’m a millionaire now. Been doing great.”
But no. I’ve had some mystery health stuff.
It’s funny because we were going to do the podcast last week, and then I miscommunicated with my sister. It’s a good thing that happened, though, because an hour later I was rushed to the ER.
I had a COPD episode. It was the closest I’ve yet been to it being lights out for me. So it’s been a rough week.
Gary:
Yeah. You almost died.
Lilly:
Yeah. It’s been rough. I’ve just been figuring out some health stuff.
And when we were talking about coming on and doing a follow-up, I was like, “Oh my God, what am I going to say?”
But I guess I do have some cautionary tales for the models given my experience. And I think that’s more valuable than me saying, “I’m a millionaire now. This is great.”
The majority aren’t millionaires. They have more cautionary shit going on.
Gary:
Exactly.
So, what happened?
Lilly:
I have some tales of trying to get to the U.S. as an OnlyFans model.
I don’t know how many Canadian followers of the channel there are, but I’m sure there are people from other parts of the world too. The U.S. is usually where all the cool events and stuff are happening.
You have to be a little bit more careful with explaining what you’re doing over there.
For myself, I was going to AVN, which is the big awards show and expo.
I’m not a good liar, so what I tried to do was walk up to the TSA agent and be as brief as possible. I said, “I’m a content creator.”
I’m not lying. That’s what I would say.
Gary:
You are.
Lilly:
Exactly. But he kept asking more and more questions, which led me to the back room.
Oh my goodness. It is such a scary experience, especially if you love to travel.
The U.S. is such a hub for even catching flights and stuff like that, so it was a lot of questioning.
Luckily, I was kind of able to dissociate a bit and really stay okay even though I knew how high the stakes were.
I’ve heard stories of other models having issues.
Technically, I wasn’t lying. I wasn’t going to the U.S. to work.
But some things happened. I was supposed to be going for longer, and then it ended up being that I was just going for the night, which is a huge red flag to them.
They literally thought I was coming in to escort, make money, and leave.
Gary:
You dirty shit! How dare you do that in America?
Lilly:
Never.
Gary:
Maybe America will be home soon.
Lilly:
I was going to make it my 51st state.
Gary:
This is a concern that I never even thought about. I’d be the same way. “Oh, I’m a content creator. What’s the problem?”
I guess they want to see a legitimate job. I didn’t know they were that tight on that.
Lilly:
I think that, well, fair enough. If they’re trying to prevent human trafficking and stuff like that from happening, fair enough.
But at the end of the day, I’m so happy I could be tight-lipped because TSA does not need my sass.
As far as I know, if cavity checks are still done, a TSA agent would be more likely to get close to someone’s ass than I would from the comfort of my bedroom doing my own thing.
It was extremely insulting having to again and again and again state that, yes, sir, I did my shit in my bedroom for cash. That does not equal prostitution.
Gary:
Wait a minute. Back up.
So you wanted to get into the U.S. Were you crossing the border by flying or driving?
Lilly:
Flying. I was flying from Vancouver to Vegas.
They were convinced that because I was only coming for one night, that’s what I was doing.
Then they went through the motions.
Because of the COPD, I have all kinds of inhalers and steroid inhalers. He’s opening up my medical bag and looking at all this stuff, asking what it’s for.
I’m like, “I’m asthmatic.”
Gary:
Because they see all these inhalers and think she’s doing drugs.
Lilly:
They’re invasive.
And then, to my fault, I had three phones on me.
Gary:
Oh no.
OMGhBomb:
Oh, you dirty drug dealer. Where’s your beeper?
Lilly:
One phone is my regular phone. The second phone is to play Crunchyroll because I love my anime. My third phone won’t allow me to play Crunchyroll, but it has the headphone jack because it’s ancient.
So I needed my music phone, my anime phone, and my real phone.
Gary:
That would be my question. Why don’t you have an MP3 player?
Lilly:
He was asking, “What are all these phones for?”
And then they asked, “Do you give us permission to go through your phone?”
I said, “I don’t have anything to hide. Go ahead.”
I think they were so caught up in thinking, “This girl looks so guilty.”
But then I have my manga, my Spy x Family manga book, three phones with three legitimate reasons why I have them, and my puffers.
I don’t think they knew what to make of me.
Gary:
So is that how you got away with it?
Lilly:
I think so.
I think they saw the state I was in and how I was so okay with them looking through my stuff.
I knew, “Don’t bring toys. Don’t bring anything like that.”
So I think they realized, “Okay, this girl looks guilty, but maybe isn’t.”
He basically said, “You know what? I’m going to allow you in. I don’t have to, but I’m going to allow you in.”
And he led me through the doors, and I was good to go.
Gary:
All right. Wait, wait, wait. Time out. We’ve got to break this down because I’m really interested in this.
You’re going up to TSA, just doopy-doopy-doo. What did you have? One bag?
Lilly:
Just my carry-on.
Gary:
So you put it in, go through the metal detector or whatever. How did that go?
Lilly:
I cleared that with no problem.
I’m pretty sure that was also the time where I had a TSA agent do the random check where they’ll open your bag and do a quick search.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
I got through that perfectly fine.
It was when I realized I was next in line and I locked eyes with the guy I was going up to see. All of a sudden, I got this sinking feeling in my chest.
Something was going to happen here.
Gary:
Before you continue, did he look like a neck beard?
Lilly:
He was one of the largest men I’ve ever seen in my life.
His name was King.
Gary:
King?
Lilly:
King. K-I-N-G.
Gary:
Was he black?
Lilly:
He was just… huge. And he had the deepest voice.
I literally kept having to ask him to repeat himself because my heart was going crazy. His voice was so low I could barely make out what he was saying.
And he’s looking at me like, “Oh, I found one. Let’s go.”
Gary:
Going to the back.
Lilly:
Yeah. He wasn’t the one who dealt with me after that, though. There was another gentleman there to greet me when I got back there.
Gary:
So King says something to his partner or whatever?
Lilly:
I don’t know.
Gary:
What do you think he said?
Lilly:
Probably something like, “Oh, look at this little white girl. I’m gonna get her number.”
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
Maybe if it had gone that way, it would have been a much better experience.
Gary:
I think we got one of them fly-by-night escorts here trying to pop into Vegas and pop back real quick.
Lilly:
Yeah. That makes sense. It looked really obvious to them, but it really wasn’t.
There was so much stuff that had gone on before AVN came up. I had told my friend I was going to be there. She helped me get my ticket, and I wasn’t going to just not show up.
So I thought, “Okay, if I’m there for the day and a half, then fly out. I’ve done what I said I was going to do. I showed up.”
But I’m assuming that’s what really got them wondering what my business was in Vegas.
Gary:
I’ve got a girlfriend who’s a flight attendant, and she bops over everywhere. She went to Denmark for one night once.
Lilly:
Maybe I need to become a flight attendant.
Gary:
She wasn’t even working when she went overseas, but I guess there’s some trust built from the fact that she works.
So what did King’s boyfriend say to you?
Lilly:
He was asking where I planned on staying.
I booked on Airbnb, but it was a hotel. At first I said I was staying at this hotel, and later in the conversation I said Airbnb.
He’s like, “I thought you said you were staying at this hotel.”
He thought he caught me.
I’m like, “Well, no, sir. You can book people’s suites in a hotel on Airbnb.”
I had all of this information if he’d like to see it on my phone, which I was allowing him to see.
They never went through it.
I don’t know exactly what the rules are or if there has to be a certain level of proof before they start looking through devices.
They didn’t look through any of my devices. Just my bag. He pulled everything out.
Gary:
It’s probably their discretion, but we’ll probably never know.
Lilly:
Yeah. I figured because I said yes, that gave them the go-ahead.
But I don’t know if, if he never found anything, I would have been able to sue.
Gary:
You said they brought you into the back room.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
How’d that go? Is that like an OnlyFans video we could buy?
Lilly:
No.
I assume cavity checks are still a thing.
That didn’t happen to me, fortunately.
Gary:
That’s fucked up.
Lilly:
You don’t get it on camera, man. The worst.
Gary:
They’re so dehumanizing.
Lilly:
Yeah. It’s just fucked up.
And it’s funny because obviously he did his TSA thing, grilling me and all of that, but then he really tried to push how I should be doing other things with my life.
Gary:
This damn neck beard. “Come on, man. You’re much better than this. You don’t have to sell your body online.”
Lilly:
Yeah.
But in reality, he probably gets closer to someone’s ass through cavity checks or something than I ever have doing this job.
And I don’t think he’s getting stopped at the border every time he comes over or judged and preached to.
Gary:
Exactly.
Why do they even have to do that anymore at the airports? They have the body scanner.
Lilly:
And if you’re going to stop me, I just can’t believe they didn’t look through my phone.
If they were so convinced this was going down, obviously there would be messages.
But they didn’t look through my phone. I find that so weird.
OMGhBomb:
They asked your consent for that too?
Lilly:
Yeah. He made it very clear: “You can turn around right now and then you’re not getting banned from the U.S., or we could find something and then you’ll have to apply to be allowed to enter.”
The severity of what they found would dictate whether I even had a chance.
Gary:
And they never looked through any of your three phones?
Lilly:
No.
Because I didn’t flat-out come out and say I was going to AVN. I said I was going to Resorts World, which is where AVN was.
Again, not lying.
But if he’d seen my Twitter, I’m pretty sure it was posted there.
Gary:
Yeah. Don’t ever do that.
Lilly:
Exactly.
So I would definitely say, if you are going to one of these events from a different country, I know it’s good to pump it up for your fans, but before you go, think about how you’re presenting the trip.
I guess that’s how they view it. If you do this from the privacy of your bedroom, they assume you must be a prostitute.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
And again, I truly feel like if this is to try to stop human trafficking, I feel bad for laughing about this guy.
But at the end of the day, I know that that’s not at all what was happening with me.
I just found it insulting that I kept having to defend myself and explain that I was not going to meet up with men for money and sex.
OMGhBomb:
I would have been super offended too.
So how long were you in this ordeal?
Lilly:
To be honest, because I was in such a dissociated state, I’m assuming it was about 30 minutes. But it could have been less. It could have been more.
I don’t know.
And it sucks because experiencing that, then having to kind of dissociate, and then feeling so relieved afterward… the chemicals going on in my brain totally ruined the experience.
I was on such a weird high from the whole ordeal, from being let in and thinking about what could have happened.
It kind of wrecked the experience. I wasn’t present. I was up in the clouds somewhere the whole time.
Gary:
That 30 minutes probably felt like seven hours.
Lilly:
Yeah. Your brain goes into protective mode.
It was intense.
So I would definitely say, don’t go to one of these events for just one night.
And don’t bring three phones.
Gary:
Smart. Smart.
OMGhBomb:
Only dirty people take three phones to Las Vegas, right?
Gary:
For one night.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
Would you do it again?
Lilly:
No.
I would definitely do it differently next time.
And maybe research what your rights are in that situation.
I had no idea what my rights were. I figured I surrendered all my rights the second I decided to try to go into another country.
I was kind of just under their mercy.
But I’m sure you have rights.
Gary:
Oh, absolutely. You definitely do have rights.
From what I’ve researched, I’m not an expert, but it doesn’t matter what they think. They have to prove that you’re coming to America to solicit someone for sex.
They can ask all the questions they want and interrogate you all they want, but it sounds like these guys were actually pretty decent compared to what usually happens.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
If they didn’t search your phone, that tells me they knew they didn’t have proof of anything.
Lilly:
See, then I would be sitting here a millionaire.
Gary:
Tell me about it.
I’m always watching those TikTok videos with cops and shit. I pray every time I drive my car out of my house.
OMGhBomb:
Because you’re hoping they’ll pull you over?
Gary:
I’m hoping they’d pull me over while I’m not doing anything illegal because then they’re so stupid that people make tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars because cops don’t know the law.
But that’s a whole other thing.
That would make a good viral video too.
Lilly:
I always have my phone right next to me so I could just hit record.
Gary:
You have three phones. You should have picked one and hit record.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
Would have paid for itself on OnlyFans.
Lilly:
Oh, gosh.
Gary:
Do your research. Are you allowed to record back there?
Lilly:
I don’t know.
Gary:
If so…
OMGhBomb:
That could have been content.
Gary:
I already know this. You’re allowed to record anywhere you want in a public space because that’s considered a public space.
Lilly:
Right.
Gary:
There’s no expectation of privacy.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
So when you’re on U.S. soil, as a Canadian, you fall under American law?
Lilly:
Absolutely.
Gary:
America, baby.
Lilly:
You might have Canadian rights too under the embassy, depending on the situation.
Gary:
That’s a good point. You should look into that too.
Even though you’re going with the best intentions and no illegal intentions, the moral of the story is: know your rights.
Lilly:
Because that could happen.
It was scary. My whole story was that I wasn’t doing anything illegal. I wasn’t going to do anything illegal, and yet they treated me like a criminal.
And it is rough because I know the dangers of prostitution. In a way, I feel like my intelligence was being attacked.
Gary:
Sure. Absolutely.
Lilly:
And now I’m terrified because I don’t know if my admission that I do OnlyFans has landed me on some kind of sex worker list.
I don’t know.
Gary:
This sounds like the start of a lawsuit to me.
Lilly:
I haven’t traveled since.
That was my third time in six months going to Vegas, and I haven’t traveled since.
Maybe that visit with TSA had something to do with it.
Gary:
I’d be a little scared too.
Lilly:
I love America so much that I wouldn’t dream of not coming back.
But for those who actually have lawyer money…
Gary:
In America, there are plenty of lawyers who will take your case pro bono.
Lilly:
Maybe.
Gary:
We should see if Jackie Chiles is available.
OMGhBomb:
That’s a Seinfeld reference.
Gary:
That’s 20 years old.
Lilly:
It sounded familiar.
Gary:
That’s for old people like me.
So, you were traveling to go to the AVN Awards?
Lilly:
Yes.
I was just going for the two days at the expo.
It is so much sexiness. It’s so much fun there.
I so wish my experience getting there would have allowed me to be more present because it really is so much naughty fun.
Gary:
So the American government ruined your experience.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
Damn.
OMGhBomb:
Sounds like a lawsuit.
Gary:
I’m stuck on this lawsuit shit. I’m sorry.
Lilly:
Maybe you can hit me up with some information afterward.
Gary:
Yeah. There are a few YouTube lawyers who would probably love this.
Lilly:
I seriously thought I was just a sitting duck. Like, “Well, that’s just another OnlyFans model getting dragged through the dirt.”
And for what?
You’re coming over to prostitute yourself? Wouldn’t you be more…
I don’t know.
And even if she was, do they have to be that hardcore?
Gary:
Why didn’t they go through your phone? That’s what I don’t get.
Lilly:
Exactly.
Gary:
Obviously, they knew they didn’t have sufficient evidence to go through it because then that could open them up to serious lawsuits.
But even after that, they kept going on you and asking questions.
Lilly:
Yeah. He was totally doing good cop, bad cop.
Gary:
What was the bad cop saying?
Lilly:
“You know, there’s so many other things you could be doing with your life. You’re young.”
And then, after playing good cop, he’d ask, “Are you coming into the country to solicit for sex?”
I’d say, “Absolutely not.”
Every time.
Gary:
Wow.
Lilly:
I can’t name you one person in Vegas that would have occurred with.
There’s nobody. Absolutely not.
Gary:
So they basically outright asked if you were coming to prostitute yourself.
Lilly:
Yes.
And what if I was?
What if I wanted to?
I guess because I’m Canadian, I don’t have a worker’s visa, so technically that would be working illegally in the country.
Gary:
Possibly.
OMGhBomb:
In certain areas around Las Vegas, prostitution is legal, right?
Gary:
Not actually in Vegas, but around Vegas?
OMGhBomb:
Yeah. There are brothels and stuff, but it’s not on the downtown Strip or in the city of Las Vegas.
Gary:
So you could technically work in a brothel with the appropriate requirements?
OMGhBomb:
Yeah, that’s something we’d have to research.
Gary:
We’re not prostituting here. Why are we talking about this?
Lilly:
Exactly!
What if I just wanted to go and have some fun?
But he even asked if I was planning on doing collaborations with anybody while I was there.
Gary:
Oh, wow.
Lilly:
If I had plans to collaborate with another model, that would mean I was entering the country to work.
Gary:
Gotcha.
Lilly:
When he asked that, I’m thinking, “What if you were?”
Gary:
Yeah. Then you’d be asked to leave.
Lilly:
Exactly.
In my head, I assumed it was more about not being allowed to work illegally because you’re taking a job from a U.S. citizen.
But digital work makes it confusing.
If a businessman takes a work call in the U.S. from Canada, he’s not getting kicked out.
Gary:
Right.
Lilly:
But he made it very clear to me there is no collaborating in the U.S. for OnlyFans if you’re not from there.
Gary:
Wow.
OMGhBomb:
Only U.S.-only.
Gary:
We’re getting super weird around here.
Do you know the TSA agent’s name?
Lilly:
I don’t. It wasn’t as memorable as King.
Gary:
Call him out.
I’d like to thank him for potentially stopping a Canadian content creator from taking a job away from an American content creator.
Thank God for that, right?
Lilly:
At the time, I remember watching videos about the situation at the border and thinking how crazy it was that all this energy was being wasted on me.
Gary:
No doubt.
Lilly:
But again, it’s not my country.
Gary:
Still, that’s insane.
Forget the legalities for a second. We’re wasting all this time on who you’re having sex with and whether money is involved.
It seems incredibly invasive and personal.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
Shouldn’t they be looking for serial killers, terrorists, drug traffickers, people who are actually potentially hurting Americans?
Lilly:
Exactly.
Gary:
I guess it was a slow day. You were the only one in the back room.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
King thought he caught himself a big one.
You have to wonder if they get a little bonus every time they catch somebody.
Lilly:
I don’t know.
Gary:
After 30 minutes, I’d start contemplating a bribe.
Lilly:
My whole thing was that I did not want to have to turn around and go home.
I just wanted to be as compliant as possible.
OMGhBomb:
Yeah.
Lilly:
But I was feeling a little sexual harassment here.
Why me?
Were there just a bunch of OnlyFans girls?
I don’t know why me.
And I wasn’t even dressed cute. I had a big sweater and my hair in a messy bun.
I wasn’t…
Gary:
If someone was showing up to meet you looking like that, you were only getting pennies.
Lilly:
Exactly.
Gary:
I think the point is King wanted to bang a white girl.
Lilly:
Were there other white girls in line? I was too scared to turn around.
I swear I was moments from a panic attack when I realized this wasn’t going well.
I didn’t know how to handle it.
I hadn’t looked up my rights.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Gary:
Sounds like harassment of a Canadian citizen to me.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
This sounds like a huge lawsuit.
OMGhBomb:
Sure does.
Gary:
What’s it called when there’s a time window for these kinds of things?
OMGhBomb:
Statute of limitations.
Gary:
Yeah, that’s important.
Lilly:
I don’t know how long it would be.
Gary:
I don’t know either.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
Well, if King tried something physical, that would be a different situation.
Lilly:
Cavity check.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
That’s the thing. Given that I was saying, “Yes, take everything. Look through my stuff,” would I have said yes to a cavity check?
I don’t know.
I wanted to go to AVN.
And I knew there was nothing there, so…
Gary:
That’s a good point.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
I’m thinking, “Would I?”
No. I don’t want anyone digging in my butthole.
Lilly:
Exactly.
How bad do you want to go?
That’s a tough situation.
But at least it made for an experience and advice for models wanting to travel.
I’d heard, “It’s hard getting across the border if they find out you do OnlyFans,” and I thought that sounded dramatic.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
But now I know it’s something to take seriously.
Gary:
I had trouble coming back into Mexico once when they were changing the laws about whether you needed your passport.
I didn’t need it to get into Mexico at the time, but I kind of needed it to get back into the States.
So yeah, your story is a concern for me.
What if I leave the country and come back and they find out I do OnlyFans?
Lilly:
Because you’re a citizen, I would hope they have to take you back.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
Sometimes they don’t. They’re wild.
But definitely research your rights.
And don’t think models are making this shit up to go viral.
“Let’s make a TikTok about how this happened.”
No. This shit is real.
Gary:
For the record, if you ever make it back to the States and want to stay a couple nights, we should definitely collaborate.
Lilly:
I would be so down.
Like I said, I love the U.S. I’ve been to Vegas a couple of times and California.
That’s why my heart was so…
“Oh my God, this is a life-changing thing that could happen to me right now if they deem something I’ve said meant sex for cash.”
It could have gone south really badly.
Gary:
Could have been better. Could have been worse.
Lilly:
A lot.
And like I said, I haven’t tried traveling since, so I have absolutely no idea if I have…
Gary:
Listen. They really traumatized you.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
You sound like a victim to me.
Lilly:
Victim of the American government.
Gary:
I don’t know, man. Sounds like you should sue.
Lilly:
I’m maybe going to look into how long I have.
That was not this January, but the previous one. So if it’s one year, that would be up.
But if it’s five years, maybe I should look into that, even just for the sake of it.
Because it’s not right.
It’s very dehumanizing, especially given what I have on my phone.
The idea of this man just getting to see it all for free.
Gary:
That’s true.
Lilly:
And everything else about my life that’s on there.
I even said to him, “My phone is like my diary. This is dehumanizing, but I have nothing to hide.”
I figured if I said no, he’d be like, “Hey, you’re out.”
Gary:
Probably.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
The whole situation is fucked up.
Maybe some YouTube lawyers will see this and pass it along to their lawyer buddies.
Lilly:
I’ve watched a couple of YouTube videos, but those girls were actually escorting and talked about their experiences.
I was like, “Okay, you’re caught. You want to do the crime, you do the time.”
But I didn’t really know exactly how bad it could get even for just the lonely old OnlyFans girl who does solo content in her bedroom.
Gary:
That’s what gets me.
You really think I’d go all the way to Vegas to do what?
Lilly:
I’ve never even been with a guy on my OnlyFans.
That’s never been a thing I’ve done.
Look at my OnlyFans. Go ahead.
But for some reason, I’d go all the way to Vegas for one night of escorting?
Gary:
Yeah, that’s kind of nuts.
Lilly:
It should be based around the content too.
People hear “OnlyFans” and immediately attach a sexual or negative connotation to it.
Gary:
Yeah.
Lilly:
I tried to say, “I do what I do safely from my bedroom. That’s not a risk I feel is necessary to take.”
But he just kept asking.
He was highly intrigued.
Gary:
I think so.
Lilly:
I did almost get a vibe that maybe he had a younger sibling or a sister, and maybe he saw something in me.
Maybe that’s why he wasn’t quite as mean to me as he could have been.
Or maybe that was the good cop/bad cop scenario.
I don’t know.
Gary:
Interesting perspective.
Lilly:
Yeah.
But you might not get as lucky as I did crossing in.
You could get a total asshole who just wants to interrogate, interrogate, interrogate.
Gary:
He kind of ebbed and flowed with his style.
Well, good.
Did you get any pictures at AVN?
Lilly:
I got a couple, just of me in front of the sign and stuff like that.
But afterward I was thinking, “Is someone going to look through my phone coming back?”
If I take a picture with somebody, are they going to be like, “You did him. You did her”?
I was like, “Oh God. Do I want memories of this experience?”
I need a redo.
Gary:
Jesus Christ.
So wait a minute.
Is that why you haven’t posted anything on Instagram in about a year?
Lilly:
It was a huge wake-up call for me.
As I said, I would love to travel the world, and in those moments I thought that was going to be taken from me.
I still don’t know if that’s going to be a problem for me traveling.
It did make me stop and think, “Wow. I need to be a little bit more thoughtful about this.”
But I love this industry, and I can’t imagine myself doing much else.
More so, my lack of posting has been because of all the stuff that’s been going on with my health.
I’ve just kind of stuck to my OnlyFans guys, doing services with them and coasting by for now.
I’ve recently got some specialists and really had to start taking my COPD very seriously.
I’ve kind of been in denial for the last five years since being diagnosed with it.
I’m hoping that being properly medicated and having the right specialists behind me will get enough oxygen to my brain that I can think a little straighter.
Then I can be back on Sex Panther and stuff like that because I miss it so much.
But if I can’t give my all, I’m not just here for the money.
I’m here because I’m good at this job.
If I can’t give my all, I’m not going to have people pay me to do anything.
OMGhBomb:
I agree with that.
I don’t like to share that type of energy if I’m not at my best.
But you found your loyal fans, so that’s really good.
Lilly:
Yeah.
OMGhBomb:
Really good perspective to have.
You want it to be quality.
Again, coming back to quality.
Lilly:
Absolutely.
Gary:
And if you’re good at this, you’re meant to do this, you’ll obtain those fans.
Then if you have to take a timeout, even if it’s a year or a year and a half, those guys will be there.
Lilly:
When I logged onto Sex Panther not too long ago, I noticed they have all these rules now about what you can have in your profile picture.
I logged on just so I could switch up my profile picture so I wouldn’t lose my account.
Then I got flooded with messages.
I’m just like, “Oh my God.”
I just want to be happy and healthy and come back to these guys because I miss them so much.
Gary:
Wait a minute. Why can’t you show a dildo in your profile picture?
Lilly:
It’s weird.
About four or five months ago, I got a notification saying you can’t have nudity at all.
So I changed it.
Then I got another notification saying you can’t have certain parts showing, and you can’t have toys in your Sex Panther profile picture.
Gary:
But you can have them in your feed?
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
That makes no sense.
Lilly:
It’s like you’re good to go in the feed, but the profile picture has different rules.
I’m assuming Visa and Mastercard, the payment processors, are really starting to lay down what they’re allowing as far as showing that kind of stuff.
But it’s like, okay, you can’t have it here.
Scroll down a bit and there’s my…
Gary:
That’s my question.
If I go to your Sex Panther profile, I see your profile picture, and then I scroll through your profile and can see dirty pictures of you.
Lilly:
Exactly.
Gary:
That makes no sense.
If it was behind a paywall, that would make sense.
But if I’m scrolling and see it anyway…
Lilly:
Exactly.
Gary:
So the rule is basically, “Not in profile pictures.”
Lilly:
Apparently.
You scroll down a bit and there’s the feed photos.
So you can see it all there.
Gary:
It doesn’t make sense.
Lilly:
It really doesn’t.
But them’s the rules.
Gary:
What the fuck?
Pretty soon we’re all going to be in hoodies, covered up and wearing masks.
Lilly:
I don’t know about that.
Gary:
What the fuck?
Lilly:
You’ve got to guess my cup size. That could be a fun game.
OMGhBomb:
Pasties.
Lilly:
It could be.
Gary:
Yeah.
So things are getting kind of weird as far as that goes.
Lilly:
Yeah.
I logged in to switch that up, and I was like, “I just want to be okay and be okay enough to do this.”
I’m hopeful that the light at the end of the tunnel is coming now that I’m taking my health seriously and actually have specialists behind me.
OMGhBomb:
So is your health the main reason you’re taking a step back?
Lilly:
Yeah.
When you’re having a much harder time in your day-to-day trying to breathe and you’re not properly medicated, you’re not getting proper oxygen to your brain.
You’re not making good, healthy choices that could help you get healthier.
After my lease was up, I moved in with my mom, and she’s really been assisting me through all of this.
Which sounds so pathetic because I’m a grown-ass woman, but when you lose a function because you’re not capable of thinking straight, there goes your memory.
There goes your ability to make good choices and commit.
Every cam model has heard it in videos: commitment is what allows you to grow and thrive.
I knew that commitment was completely shot because of the way my brain was functioning.
So take your health seriously.
Don’t be in denial, even if you’re scared of a diagnosis.
Because all you’re going to do is wither away.
No matter how good you are at this job, if you don’t have your mental capacities, you’re fogged.
Gary:
You’ve got to have that titanium, steel-trap brain.
Lilly:
Yeah.
OMGhBomb:
But your mental health is important, you guys.
Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed.
And reach out if you need to talk to somebody.
I’m always down to talk to people about their mental struggles or anything like that.
Lilly:
Community is definitely needed in this.
Especially after going through health stuff.
Gary:
Yeah.
You could be amazing at this, but you will slowly deteriorate if you let your health go.
Take that seriously.
OMGhBomb:
Kudos to you for being self-aware and doing that.
Do you feel like you’re on the path to get back to where you want to be?
Lilly:
I do.
My last stint in the hospital, the doctor really laid into me about the severity of even going one day without taking my steroid inhaler.
In my head, it’s almost like, “Well, if I don’t feel like I need it, it doesn’t matter.”
But it does matter.
Take it.
I’m feeling like I have a team behind me now, whereas I kind of thought I was all by myself trying to deal with this.
After the last few hospital visits, I think people understood that I wasn’t taking this seriously.
So they’re going to have to hover until I do.
After this last one, I’ll do whatever it takes to not put myself in that position again.
And not only that, my poor mother had to go through it and witness her daughter literally struggling to breathe.
My oxygen was so low they couldn’t even administer the IV steroid because my body wasn’t at the level needed to accept the medication.
She was literally holding me up while I was breathing on one muscle in my back.
OMGhBomb:
Yeah.
Lilly:
It got real.
Gary:
Beyond scared straight definitely works.
My mother just got diagnosed with COPD too, actually. It’s been a nightmare.
Lilly:
Yeah. It’s no joke.
And it’s not just asthma.
I thought, “Oh, it’s asthma.”
It’s like, no. It’s not.
Gary:
Yeah.
I thought she was dying.
Not to be dramatic, but for a second there…
Lilly:
Yeah.
It’s scary.
Gary:
Take your health seriously because without that, you have nothing.
There’s a YouTube creator, Austin McConnell, I think.
He had a heart issue and actually documents his struggle with it and what he went through.
It sounds like the same kind of thing you’ve experienced.
It broke him down and made it difficult to create even though he wanted to.
You might want to check him out because you could probably relate.
Lilly:
Yeah.
It’s funny you say that because I thought, “Should I maybe think about creating vlogs and stuff like that?”
Something that would allow others to be more accepting of living life and still trying to achieve your dreams even though you’re diagnosed with something scary.
But I’m like, how about we just start with being able to show up one day a week on Sex Panther and take care of my OnlyFans guys?
Go from there.
Gary:
Yeah. Do your best. That’s all you can do.
If you’re doing that and you’re trying, then you’re doing something.
Lilly:
Not giving up.
Like I said, I love this industry, so I’m definitely not giving up on it.
Gary:
Hell yeah.
So you still do OnlyFans?
Lilly:
Yeah.
Mostly communicating and doing services through my direct messages.
I’m not promoting it or anything like that.
But if anyone wants custom video calls, I still do that stuff.
It’s just for the select few who have stuck through this whole ordeal with me.
Gary:
Have you been posting any vlog-type stuff about it on your OnlyFans, or have you been staying away from that?
Lilly:
I’ve been thinking about it.
This experience has made me realize how important that kind of openness can be, especially in this industry.
I don’t know too many girls who are open about this, and I think that makes other people feel like they have to hide.
Maybe in the near future something like that will be coming.
I’ve been pretty open with the guys.
Sometimes they’ll want to do a show and I’ll say, “I’m sorry, but there’s no way.”
OMGhBomb:
Yeah.
Good for you.
That’s smart.
Gary:
People might actually enjoy that kind of content because it’s personal.
At the end of the day, if you’re doing this version of the industry and not just porn, the guys want that connection.
They want the humanity of it.
Don’t be afraid to open up about what’s going on.
Obviously, there’s a limit to how much you should share.
You don’t need to tell people your entire life story. This is the internet, after all.
But when it comes to illness and things like that, being open can help people understand why you’re not around.
Lilly:
My fear is that all these guys think I’ve run off with some rich guy and I’m living it up.
When the reality is the exact opposite.
Gary:
Rich guys to the front, by the way.
Lilly:
Come on down.
Gary:
I had no idea because I assumed you just took a break.
A lot of girls take a break from everything.
I didn’t know it was this serious.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
I wish you were a millionaire just living your life.
Lilly:
Me too.
Gary:
Well, we’ll get there.
You’ve got to have that attitude.
Pretend it’s 1986. Eye of the Tiger.
Lilly:
Yes. That’s right.
OMGhBomb:
I know Eye of the Tiger.
Gary:
Rocky IV.
OMGhBomb:
Yeah.
Gary:
American shit.
Lilly:
I’m sure there are plenty of guys out there who understand your references, Gary.
Gary:
Nobody understands anything I say.
I’m one for two.
OMGhBomb:
Fifty percent. Nice.
Gary:
All right.
This has been great.
This wasn’t the update I was expecting, Lilly.
But I feel positive for you.
OMGhBomb:
Me too.
You have a good mentality about it and good messages.
Lilly:
I was a little nervous because I thought this was going to sound like a sob story.
Gary:
It really doesn’t.
You’re staying positive about it.
OMGhBomb:
And sharing it will hopefully help other girls not be ashamed too.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
You feel it too, Heather.
Her positivity isn’t a Debbie Downer thing.
I was learning from it.
OMGhBomb:
Yeah.
Gary:
You’re basically saying, “I’m struggling, but I’m going to do this.”
OMGhBomb:
You’re a boss.
You’ve got this.
Lilly:
Thanks.
Gary:
Always a hustler.
Hopefully we’ll definitely have to do another update at some point because I’d love to hear the rest of your story.
Lilly:
Hopefully after the summer I can be a bit more consistent with everything and be in a much better place, especially with the medications.
Things should be getting a lot better.
Getting that oxygen to the brain and getting to live life again.
Gary:
We’re rooting for you.
OMGhBomb:
Hell yeah. We’re rooting for you.
Lilly:
Thanks, guys.
Gary:
If you were a negative Nancy, I’d be like, “Fuck you.” You’re too negative.
But your positivity…
I guarantee your positivity not only inspires other people struggling, but also the people who support you, your customers and everyone else.
How could you not support someone this positive?
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
You’re your own worst enemy with the negativity shit.
It’s okay to be down.
Don’t stay there.
Because you only go down, down, down.
OMGhBomb:
Do your best.
Gary:
Sexy pose, you guys.
OMGhBomb:
That’s hot.
Gary:
If I was into beastiality…
OMGhBomb:
Oh my God.
Gary:
Nikita’s doing her reverse sneezes too.
Anyway, thank you for honestly sharing and feeling comfortable enough to share this with us.
OMGhBomb:
I meant to say earlier that I’m sure Gary does too, but I feel honored and special that you would come on and talk with us about this.
I think it was brave of you to share your story.
Gary:
Absolutely.
OMGhBomb:
And I think he was going to give you shit about not posting before you told the truth.
Gary:
Oh, no. No, not at all.
Why would you think that?
OMGhBomb:
Because people go off and do their own thing.
Gary:
I’m kidding.
I would never give anyone shit, especially…
Imagine if I gave her shit.
What an asshole.
Good luck getting anybody else to come on Cam Girl Diaries.
OMGhBomb:
That would be what cancelled you.
Gary:
Yeah.
No. I had no ill intent at all.
OMGhBomb:
He did mention that you hadn’t posted in a while, so we were wondering.
Lilly:
Yeah.
What I didn’t want was to have more people flooding me saying, “Bitch, what is this?”
So I was like, “You know what? Just keep it a little on the down low and keep those guys somewhat happy as much as I can.”
Then when I’m back, I’ll be back to posting.
Gary:
In the meantime, just let them thirst.
They’ll be all right.
OMGhBomb:
Exactly.
And the last thing I’ll say is, I would suggest talking about your situation.
You talked about it here, obviously, but I mean talk about your situation and everything.
It definitely makes it more real.
Everyone struggles with shit, especially people dealing with severe things like what you’ve been dealing with.
Lilly:
It’s weird because this has made me feel so much more solid in the idea of being more open, so other girls can be more open.
My fear was that people were going to think I was the “pity me” girl.
That is the last thing I want.
This is my experience, and you can be positive and still hopeful for the future.
Even though I felt like I was in such a slump, being optimistic and not allowing yourself to stay down is so important.
Gary:
It definitely shows.
I didn’t get any pity party out of you.
You’re conscious about it and very self-aware.
That’s awesome.
Lilly:
The only thing I’ve really done is keep adding to my little studio here.
I’m like, “So long as this keeps growing, it means I haven’t given up.”
Gary:
That’s right.
It’s going to become…
OMGhBomb:
A podcast studio?
Gary:
You might be a podcast host or something.
Talking about your struggles.
Lilly:
I had to remove all the pervy stuff from the vicinity because I was like, “This is going on YouTube.”
I have a golden penis right there and a tiny monster black creature there that I had to make sure wasn’t in frame.
Gary:
Hold up.
A golden penis?
Lilly:
Yeah.
I don’t want to show it because I’m assuming that’s not allowed.
Gary:
We can show anything. We don’t give a shit.
Lilly:
It’s right here.
My mom made this for me.
She gold-flaked the penis.
Gary:
That’s nice.
Lilly:
She made it for me a couple of Easters.
She’s the best mom ever.
Gary:
Thanks, Mom.
Lilly:
She also made me this custom pink paddle.
I’m really excited for it.
Gary:
Yeah. No, she’s the most amazing mom.
OMGhBomb:
Whoa.
Gary:
We definitely have to have you back because we’ve got to talk about your mom.
Lilly:
Yeah.
Gary:
That paddle is intense.
Lilly:
It just happened to be right next to me.
Gary:
Holy shit.
Can someone hold that with one arm?
That looks like a two-hand paddle.
Lilly:
It is a little heavy.
You kind of want to hold it like that.
Gary:
Because if I’m trying to hit you, I’m hitting you behind the knees. That’s what I’m getting.
Lilly:
I was the pledge mom of my sorority, so I had a very large pledge class.
All their names are on it.
Gary:
Oh, that’s awesome.
Lilly:
It wasn’t my mom that made it.
Gary:
You were the mom who made it?
Lilly:
I was the mom, and they made it for me.
I’ve spanked several gentlemen with it.
Gary:
That’s nice.
OMGhBomb:
They like it.
Gary:
That’s awesome.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Now it’s getting too gay for me.
I’m sorry.
You guys might have to do another episode with just you two and me not here because…
I’m all “no homo.”
Lilly:
What if I spank you with the paddle?
Gary:
That’s not gay.
Lilly:
I don’t want to be spanked.
Gary:
Last time I was spanked I was like nine.
You’re right.
I’m just not into that.
Lilly:
If you spank me with the paddle, I’m probably hitting you behind the knees because my arms are weak.
Gary:
And you’re old.
Lilly:
It’s very heavy and you’re old.
Gary:
All right. Now it’s just getting disrespectful.
We’re done.
I honestly forgot how old you are.
All right. That’s the end of this episode.
Lilly, thanks for joining us.
Lilly:
Thank you for having me.
You guys are the best.
Gary:
Adios, amigos!
Thanks for watching.
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