Trans Cam Model Tips: How Violet Kennedy Built an OnlyFans Following & Loyal Fans | Cam Girl Diaries Podcast #64

Gary Gabagool: So, should I call you Princess V?

Violet Kennedy: You can call me that. Honestly, recently it’s just been kind of V. It’s taken a few different curves over the last year. When I first started on all the socials, I was like, “Oh, I’ll be Violet.” Then on Chaturbate I was like, “Princess VB is fun.” The users started calling me VB, and eventually people started calling me V. I’m like, “Oh, well, that’s cute.” So I kind of just use all of them. It’s all the same thing.

Gary: That’s a great place to start. What made you become a cam model?

Violet: I’m still doing food service, and I’ve been in food service for most of my life. I was just tired of feeling like I was surviving all the goddamn time and was looking for other sources of income.

I’d been doing front-facing customer service my entire life, so I thought, “This is kind of the same thing, but I’m the product instead of food.”

Gary: Right. It is customer service.

Violet: Yeah. So I did some research, hopped in, and gave it a shot. After the first week I was like, “Huh, I’m kind of good at this.”

It definitely wasn’t overnight. That was about a year ago, and it hasn’t been linear by any means.

Money was getting really tight, and I was tired of having to rely on a job’s schedule while also dealing with a lot of responsibilities at home. I wanted more freedom with my schedule and the ability to address my own life needs.

I thought, “Man, it would be really awesome if I could just make my own [explicit language] schedule.”

Instead of waiting for a job to give me a raise and tell me I’m worth something, or waiting for a promotion, I’d rather invest the time and energy into myself and my own brand, where the growth is dependent on me and my effort.

Gary: So when you started, did it just pop off immediately?

Violet: Definitely not. I felt like I was doing well, but I wouldn’t say things really started popping off until the last couple of weeks.

Like I said, it’s definitely not linear. At the time I was working another job and camming whenever I could. The first few weeks were exciting. You’d get off work, come home, get on the computer late at night, and do your thing. But that wears off pretty quickly.

I definitely found that consistency is one of the most important things, and at the time it was really hard to find that.

I had a girlfriend I lived with who was, in theory, completely on board with everything I was doing, but she was dealing with a lot of jealousy and emotions around it.

It was really easy to think, “I should be working, but I do have this other job. I’ll just end early. I’ll go on late. I’ll skip it.”

For a while I was planning on focusing on camming full time, and then I unexpectedly lost my job. I thought, “Okay, well, I’ll just do this full time.”

Only at that point, having to learn how to be my own boss was really [explicit language] hard. I had to learn self-discipline.

It also changed everything because before that I was slowly growing on my own terms. Suddenly I had to do it for survival.

Beforehand it was fun. But once you have to sit there in front of the camera hoping your room gets more than twelve people, hoping somebody talks to you, hoping somebody tips you, it gets pretty awful when you’re thinking, “Man, I need something to pay my rent.”

Unfortunately, around that same time, my house situation changed too. The house I’d lived in for eight years was being remodeled, and we were given a month’s notice.

So right as I was trying to grow my business, I had to find a new place to live, pack everything up, and move somewhere where I didn’t have an extra bedroom to work out of.

Now my bedroom was also my office. If I wanted to work, I had to kick my partner out of the room.

Gary: You said in the beginning it was fun because you were enjoying it. When you made that switch where you actually had to make money, what did that do to you mentally?

Violet: It honestly got really dehumanizing.

It’s not to be bleak, but it can bring up a lot of rough emotions.

This industry thrives off confidence. When you’re confident and feel good about yourself, that’s when people want to be around you. They want to be part of whatever you’re doing, whether that’s a show, a shoot, a video, whatever your brand is.

If people just want to see porn, they can go do that. If they’re just trying to get off, they can do that.

But if you’re already stressed and just trying to survive, it’s hard.

Especially with camming, if there’s no one to talk to, you’re just sitting there in your thoughts.

You can try to find something else to do, but for me I’d be thinking, “Okay, I can try to read a book, but that’s boring to watch. I’m not helping myself.” Then I couldn’t pay attention to the little bit of chat I had.

You get in your own head, and you become less fun.

I honestly ended up taking a break for about six months because it got to be too much.

I went back to waitressing and stuff like that.

The way I eventually got back into it was through my relationships. I’m polyamorous, and one of my other girlfriends decided she wanted to give camming a shot.

I was still getting online once a week or once every few weeks, and we started doing a few shows together, just kind of impromptu. We had time, and those shows were a lot of fun.

We did great because the energy was different. We were having fun, enjoying ourselves, and having a great time. That pulled a lot of people in.

Eventually she started working on her own account, and I basically stopped logging into mine. I’d just show up on hers every few weeks as a guest star.

Eventually we decided I’d start taking two days a week off from work. I cut down my hours and said, “Okay, Tuesdays and Thursdays we’re going to do this together.”

That way we could be consistent.

We really started growing on her page. Unfortunately, over time she learned that she didn’t enjoy this kind of work. It was difficult for her.

I still really enjoyed it.

So as she took a step back, I decided to start putting more energy back into my own account.

And then, of course, right when I was about to start camming by myself again and really go for it, my computer crapped out on me.

Gary: Of course it did.

Violet: I know what’s wrong with it, but I’m pretty sure I’ll [explicit language] it up more if I keep trying to fix it. I’ve already opened up the motherboard and started messing with the drives, and I’m going to break the motherboard if I keep trying to figure it out.

So I got frustrated and thought, “Well, I had all this energy to do this. I guess I’ll just do my OnlyFans instead.”

I started taking more pictures, actually editing them, and going through the dozens upon dozens of hours of recorded streams I already had.

I started pulling clips out and posting them.

I’d posted occasionally on Reddit and Instagram, but I thought, “Okay, I’m actually going to do this.”

I know you’re supposed to post every day, but I’ve never been a social-media person. It bores me.

I’m a Redditor. I lurk on Reddit. That’s my social media. Or I get into Facebook fights. That’s about it.

Social media is mostly an outlet for me to get out my internal rage.

Gary: But you said something changed a couple of weeks ago. What changed?

Violet: My outlook.

I was talking to a friend about this because I felt like I had finally decided to put the effort in, but that’s not really true.

It’s more like I spent the last year learning how to work for myself.

I learned how to get comfortable in front of the camera. I learned how to get comfortable engaging with my customers. I learned how to take care of myself in this industry.

One thing I found early on was that my girlfriend and I would sometimes have different approaches. She would want to keep trucking no matter what.

I’d say, “No, no, no. Something happened. The mood is all off. We’re going to go on a break.”

We’ll take 30 minutes or an hour. We’ll watch some TV. We’ll snuggle. Then when we’re ready to come back, we’ll be doing way better because the energy has to be there.

Once you realize, “My mental state is [explicit language] right now. I need a break,” you have to take the break.

You have to take care of yourself.

When you’re the product, you have to maintain the product.

When I started, I had no experience with video editing, photo editing, videotaping, or photographing myself.

I’m really not one to take many nudes or anything like that, so I never had this huge backlog of content.

Every photo shoot felt like an effort.

Every one of those steps felt overwhelming, but I’d slowly learned all of them over the course of the last year.

Then, in the last few weeks, it all started coming together.

I felt guilty because I’d literally posted nothing on my OnlyFans for four or five months.

Then suddenly I was getting subscribers because I was appearing on my girlfriend’s account.

I thought, “Well, [explicit language], I have these four subscribers. They paid for this. I should give them something.”

Once I started posting every day, it forced me to get more creative.

I thought, “Okay, I guess I’ll learn how to make an Instagram Reel.”

Some of my early ones are still cringey. I don’t really understand the format.

But I forced myself to make one by following a trend. Then I made another one. Then another.

Eventually you think, “Well, this would be a fun idea.”

Once you’ve done all the dumb [explicit language] beforehand, you actually have some know-how about how to cut together what you want to do.

You’re getting more ideas. Your personality starts coming out more.

And in the last two weeks, it has been honestly kind of overwhelming.

I went from four subscribers two weeks ago to well over 70.

That’s not counting the growth I’m starting to see on Instagram and Twitter. Eventually I want to focus on TikTok too, but video content is something I’ll figure out as I go.

I also met some other creators online who were doing similar things. We decided to take an impromptu trip to visit one of them.

That’s what I’m doing this week. Another creator and I are working together, and we’ve made some incredible content.

We’re learning how to edit together, and now I’m selling the videos we made. We made 15-minute videos together, I edited them, made teasers for them, and they’re selling great.

I’m like, “Oh [explicit language], I can [explicit language] do this. Let’s go.”

It’s more fun now, too, because I don’t have to do it right now.

I can turn people down if I don’t want to do something.

If I don’t want to do something, I’m just going to say no. I don’t care.

On Reddit, I’ve also started refusing to post in certain subreddits that I thought were disrespectful or reductionist.

That’s working out fine because now I’m not changing myself for my audience.

When I started, I felt like I was changing myself for my audience, and that was really dehumanizing.

Now I’m saying, “No. I’m just going to be me.”

I’m building an audience that likes my energy.

Half the time on OnlyFans, I’m talking to my fans about One Piece, video games, and other stuff.

I might open a Discord channel soon so we can do watch parties or play video games together.

Gary: So, basically, it all came together. You had the experience, the experience kicked in, your mental state changed, and you basically said, “Fuck it, I’m just going to be me.”

Violet: Exactly.

And people simplify it. But that’s simplifying something that actually takes a lot of work.

People say, “Sex work is work,” but I still don’t think they really understand what the work is.

I was actually having a conversation with my sister about this because I’m probably going to spend some time living with my parents for a little while.

They really wanted to help me with a few things, and I said, “Okay, I’ll do it, but y’all need to know some things. You’re going to have to be real cool with some things really fast.”

They were mostly concerned about the logistics.

My dad was concerned about whether he could work from home and be on the phone while I was working.

It was like AOL dial-up or something.

I think they thought it was just me [explicit language] people 24/7 in my room.

I’m like, “Guys, that’s so much more boring than that.”

Most of my time is networking, editing, marketing, and maintaining my online presence and brand.

I really only need to shoot video maybe two hours once a week.

Gary: That’s a big thing people don’t realize. The majority of your time is doing exactly what you said: marketing and learning how to edit videos for each platform.

Violet: Yeah. You have to learn each platform.

I’m taking it slow with platforms. I’m mostly active on Reddit, Instagram, and Twitter.

I’m a longtime Reddit user, so I understand Reddit. That’s where my energy goes.

Reddit is probably the most esoteric and difficult social media platform to figure out if you’re starting from scratch. I was lucky because I already knew it.

One thing I’d recommend is taking a poll.

Once I started seeing people coming in, I put a poll up and pinned it to figure out where people were coming from.

For me, it was all Reddit, plus a few people from my Chaturbate days.

I’m probably going to go back to Chaturbate. I’ve got some fun ideas. I just need to get my setup going again.

Gary: So, what’s your main platform right now?

Violet: My main platform right now is OnlyFans, but I definitely want to get back to streaming.

What I really thrive on is that sociable, personable, Girl Next Door vibe.

That’s my favorite part of Chaturbate. My best times were always when we were just interacting with people and having fun.

Episode #64 Transcript – Part 2

Violet: My main platform right now is OnlyFans, but I do want to get back to streaming because what I really thrive on is that very sociable, personable, Girl Next Door vibe. That’s my favorite part. My best times on Chaturbate were always when we were just talking.

I would literally get pulled into private shows and spend an hour just talking to guys about their lives. It can be a really beautiful and vulnerable space because people, especially men, sometimes don’t really know how to connect with people. They’re lonely. A lot of the people on these websites are lonely and don’t really know how to connect with people. They’re seeking connection.

If they just wanted to get off, they could do that. They don’t need Chaturbate. Most of the time, if you flip through Chaturbate, there aren’t many things happening that are incredibly sexy that you wouldn’t find better on PornHub. It’s the connection they’re looking for.

I think a lot of my customers feel more comfortable engaging with that side of the socialness if sex and titillation are almost like a gateway to the real needs they’re looking for. They can’t just say, “Oh, I really just want someone to listen and talk to me and treat me like a human being.” It has to be, “Oh, this is a really hot girl,” but once you get past that, there’s a deeper relationship to build.

Gary: Right. I mean, like any relationship, right? You’re attracted to them or whatever.

Violet: Exactly. And you could have someone say, “Oh, well, you wouldn’t do it if they weren’t paying.” I’m like, yeah, but my therapist wouldn’t talk to me once a week if I wasn’t paying them.

Gary: That’s a great point.

Violet: It doesn’t mean I don’t care about my therapist or my therapist doesn’t care about me. It’s just what it is. My therapist isn’t going to say, “Hey, let’s hang out,” if they see me on the street. I’m not going to hang out with them outside of work or outside of our sessions. It doesn’t diminish the relationship.

Transactional relationships don’t have to be dehumanizing.

I definitely want to do streaming because that’s the most fun part for me. That’s when it gets to the pure, straight-to-straight-talk kind of interaction.

Once I get back to town next week, I’m going to get my computer fixed and probably get back on Chaturbate.

What I really want to do is start doing streams directly to my OnlyFans because it gives me a lot more flexibility. My girlfriend and I used to play Bloodborne when we were bored on Chaturbate, but we couldn’t stream it because you can’t do that on Chaturbate.

People want to see that stuff all the time. So I’m like, why don’t I just stream on Chaturbate for a couple hours and then have an after-show where they can hang out with me while I game or do whatever on my OnlyFans afterward?

I could treat Chaturbate as something I do once, maybe twice a week, to meet new people and draw them in. Then the real-time hanging out and more creative or fun stuff for a smaller community that’s already invested could happen on my personal platform.

Gary: Absolutely. That’s a great idea. Now, on OnlyFans, obviously you can do live streams?

Violet: From what I’ve researched. I haven’t done it myself, and I’m sure there are restrictions. I’ve done some research, and as best I can tell, it’s okay to stream a lot of that kind of stuff. And if it isn’t, I’ll make a Discord instead and give access to my fans and we’ll do it there.

Gary: Yeah, absolutely. I’ve seen Chaturbate allows certain games. I don’t know how long that’s been the case, but I know they allow certain ones.

Violet: Yeah, it’s very limited. Frankly, I’m too ADHD for that. I can’t just play one game over and over again. I have to be able to jump around and do different stuff.

It’s what I would be doing in my free time anyway, so what I really want to do is just include people in what I’m doing in my life. If I have to play a game I don’t want to play, now it’s just work.

I want to play a game and if you want to hang out with me while I do it, then this is where you can do it.

That’s what works.

Gary: Yeah, because if you’re playing some game you don’t want to play, they’re going to see it. Everyone’s going to see it.

Violet: Exactly.

One of the concepts I started coming up with when I was on Chaturbate was because, of course, people are always saying, “Oh, do this,” or “Do that,” or “Do this,” and they’re not tipping me.

I’m like, “Listen, I’m going to do what I want to do. This is my show. I’m the director. If you want to be in charge of a scene, you can tip me for it.”

And now you’re…

Gary: The producer.

Violet: Exactly! You’re the producer now.

That’s something I really like about it. I’m the one in charge of my show. If someone wants something specific, that’s fine, but they’re paying for the opportunity to influence what happens.

I don’t want to feel like I’m just following instructions all night. I want people to come in because they like me and my personality and want to see what I’m going to do.

That’s also why I want to bring more of my personality into the content.

I can talk forever about whatever I’m interested in. I just have to get prompted on it. That’s the biggest thing, having to drive engagement. If no one’s talking, I’m like…

And that’s kind of where the Princess moniker came from. I was like, “Guys, I’m a princess. I need to be pampered. Y’all are ignoring me. I’m going to waste away. Someone needs to tell me I’m pretty already.”

I just get bratty with them.

Gary: So wait a minute. Let’s get back to this. In the last two weeks, you said everything blew up, and that’s on OnlyFans, right?

Violet: That’s on OnlyFans right now.

Gary: Okay. So we’re talking about doing live streaming, but on OnlyFans you’re not doing live streaming right now. It’s videos and photos, right?

Violet: Yeah. Not right now. It’s videos and photos and stuff like that.

Gary: Was there a certain post that started everything?

Violet: I don’t really know exactly if it was a specific post. I think it was actually, weirdly enough, more of my safer-for-work stuff on Reddit.

I started with only posting in all the porn subreddits, and that did okay. It’s tricky because I want to not overwhelm the spaces with sex work. I also started posting in a lot of transgender beauty subs and other subs like that.

That’s really when I saw things picking up. It was from cutesy pictures of me, just looking cute and fun and having a nice time, wearing fun outfits.

Gary: On Reddit?

Violet: Yeah, on Reddit.

Gary: And that brought people over to your OnlyFans?

Violet: Yeah, because people would want to see more of me. They’d go to my profile and then they’d see the not-safe-for-work stuff and be like, “Oh my gosh.”

The more I leaned into fun and sexy at the same time, the more success I saw.

I need to get some of the video edited. Just last night I spent the night getting tied up and getting whipped and [explicit language] like that. There are a few things I have from it where I had the biggest grin on my face, just giggling and [explicit language] like that.

The pictures and stuff I have from it are almost wholesome in their kinkiness, and that’s kind of where my energy thrives: wholesome kinkiness or wholesome sexiness.

I know some of the stuff I really want to do is get some 1950s dresses and do some Mad Men-inspired shoots. Have a whole safe-for-work side of them, but then do some subversive stuff, a bit kinkier with it.

Gary: Right.

Violet: If I can transform the white-picket-fence version of America, that’ll be a blast. The more I lean into that kind of [explicit language], the better I’m doing.

Gary: But you would say it’s 100% because you’re enjoying it?

Violet: Yes. The more things I do that are me having fun, the better I’m doing.

I’m just starting to get goofier with it. I know some of the videos I want to start working on once I get home.

I’m going to do bookshelf videos, just going through all my bookshelves and nerding out about them. I’ve already teased that to people and they’re excited to see it.

I might do a safe-for-work version and also have a version where I’m in it and wearing less clothes.

Gary: Yeah.

Violet: At the end of the day, that seems to be what’s working for me.

Gary: Yeah. I could really see it. As long as the sex part is fun for you, you’re going to keep doing it. But I could easily see a point where you could just be doing YouTube and Twitch and stuff like that and be doing just fine.

It sounds like it because you clearly have the personality for it. That’s what it’s all about, interacting with people, especially if you love that.

Violet: Exactly.

I’ve always been one of those weird people who actually enjoys the food service industry. I love being a waitress. I love serving people and getting to know them.

My favorite thing in restaurant service is getting to know a customer, making them a repeat customer, and then getting to know them so well that I can anticipate every single one of their needs and wants.

Not only just in general, but being able to read their moods for the day and adjust to that.

My goal is to make it so they don’t have to ask me anything. I just take care of everything for them.

I take that energy and apply it to my fans now.

Gary: And you can do that with the chat too, right? You can read the chat and everything.

Violet: Yeah, absolutely.

People will typically match authenticity. If you’re authentic to them, they’ll be authentic back.

One thing I think I’m pretty good at is that people meet me online and then they’re always nervous. They’re like, “Okay, I’ve met this girl online. If I meet her in person, is she going to be the same person? Are the vibes going to be different?”

I’m the exact same person in person that I am online.

I’ve gotten very good with writing too. It’s literally just my voice. It’s not any different.

Once you talk to people that way, they respond in kind.

Some people know exactly what they’re there for. When someone first joins in, I’m going to give them a good-morning text every morning. But if all of a sudden it’s not reciprocated and they’re not interested, I’m going to leave them alone. That’s fine.

If you don’t want to engage like that, that’s absolutely fine. I’m not going to worry about it. When you’re ready, if you want to message me, absolutely.

Some people are just there to look at the videos and photos, and that’s fine. I’ve got content for you too.

Other people now send me good-morning messages, and absolutely, I’m going to text you back throughout the day and stuff like that.

The girlfriend experience is definitely kind of where my sweet spot is.

Gary: Yeah, it sounds like it. That’s important, especially focusing on…

I hate calling everyone “customers” or “fans.” It’s not my favorite term. I wish there was a better terminology.

Violet: Me too. I genuinely like to get to know people.

When I get back on Chaturbate, even if I’m guest streaming or something like that, I recognize the usernames that come in. I greet them by name.

Depending on how much they’ve talked to me, I know who they are. I know what’s going on in their life. I ask about it. I care about them.

I know who they are. We have a specific relationship.

That doesn’t mean I’m faking anything when I’m talking to them. Does that mean I want to run away with you and get married? No.

The conversations we’re having are real conversations.

Gary: Do you ever feel like, “Man, I hope they don’t think I’m faking because I’m trying to be genuine?”

Violet: Yeah, it crosses my mind.

I tried to pretend a lot more when I first started. I wanted to have more of a persona, and I found that just really doesn’t work for me.

There are a few elements of my life that I try to keep to myself just to keep work and life separate, but for the most part, I really try to be myself.

I’m stupid. I can’t keep track of what I tell who, so I’m going to keep it all simple.

I tell people online, “Guys, I’m a [explicit language] lesbian.” I probably would never actually want to sleep with you. I’m just into girls.

I’ve slept with guys before in the past and I’m open to finding the right one. It just hasn’t happened before, and I don’t think it’s going to happen.

Sometimes they believe me, sometimes they don’t, but you can’t get much more honest than that.

Gary: Just the sound of that, you can’t get more honest than that. That’s real.

Violet: Exactly. You can’t really say something like that and have it be fake.

It is tough when you can tell there are some people who want more from you than you can give.

It’s kind of wild to me, too, the amount of people who will reach out. I find that once people actually pay you and go to OnlyFans, or are paying you on Chaturbate, they kind of know what’s going on.

I try, because it pains me, because I really want to talk to everyone. But I’ve really got to a point where…

Episode #64 Transcript – Part 3

Violet: …if you’re not paying me or catching my interest.

If you message me on Reddit and you get my interest, yeah, I’ll talk to you. But if I’m not interested, if you’re boring and you’re just telling me I’m pretty, I hear that every day.

I get dozens of messages every day on my socials telling me I’m pretty. You’re going to have to get more creative. It’s boring now.

Gary: I know. Thank you!

Violet: It’s the people that aren’t paying that I think they think that’s something that’s weird. People will treat it like it’s a dating site.

I’ve had to tell people, “Can I be your boyfriend? Can I take you on a date?”

I’m like, “No! What are you doing trying to matchmake on porn subreddits? This isn’t a dating site.”

Gary: Right.

Violet: I’m trying to make money. This is my job.

Gary: That always cracks me up. It’s like the lack of self-respect from them too. Not disrespect towards me, but their lack of respect for themselves.

They’ll message and be like, “Are you interested in married big white [explicit language]?”

I’m like, “Is that all you are? Really? That’s all you think of yourself? That’s your only sellable trait?”

You’ve got to sell yourself better!

I’m a [explicit language], but I’m not a [explicit language].

Gary: Oh my God. I have to ask now because I’m always curious. What’s the weirdest [explicit language] that someone’s asked you to do?

Violet: Oh, I mean, some people get really into the incest stuff on Chaturbate for some reason.

They really want to roleplay the idea of being part of a family where everyone’s naked all the time.

The one I had to stop at a private show was when I first started realizing, “Nope. I have some hard boundaries, and this is one of them.”

They wanted to roleplay being siblings in a nudist family. Everything was naked all the time, and they were talking about being outside and getting turned on from seeing me, their sister, and their dad was like that too.

They were trying to make it hot, and I’m like, “I’m sorry. We can do something else, but if this is what you want to do, I can’t. I love the money you’re giving me, but I can’t. I cannot do this.”

Gary: That’s hilarious.

Violet: It was a good learning experience. I just learned, if I hate it and I’m not having fun with it, that’s a hard no.

I’m not doing age play. I’m not doing race play. If other people want to do that, that’s great. That’s fine. No shame. I’m not doing it. It makes me uncomfortable.

And honestly, at this point, I don’t really do dominatrix stuff either.

Especially as a trans woman, people really want a trans woman to just step on them, and that’s not me.

I’m the subbiest [explicit language] you’ve ever met.

I used to try to do it because I thought, “Well, this is the market. I guess I have to accommodate.”

I hate it. I can’t do it. It’s not convincing.

I feel like even if someone pays me to do it, I’m giving them a shitty product that they’re paying for. I feel like a used-car salesman at that point. I know the product’s shitty and they’re paying me anyway.

So I just don’t do it anymore.

Gary: Yeah, and they could tell.

Violet: Maybe they could tell. I don’t really even care if they can tell or not. I’m just not proud of it.

I want to put out work that I’m proud of.

Gary: Right. And again, you start doing that stuff, doing stuff that you don’t enjoy, and it’s going to bleed out into your other stuff.

Violet: Exactly.

If I have to sit there and think, “Oh my gosh, I’ve got to make this five-minute domination video where I’m making fun of a small [explicit language] into the camera,” yeah, that sounds easy. Just hold my phone and film it.

But I’m going to put it off forever. I’m not going to want to do it. I’m going to have to stop recording all the time because I’m laughing at myself for being cringey as [explicit language].

Gary: Right.

Do you get a lot of those [explicit language] rating requests? I hear a lot about those.

Violet: I haven’t done them much myself. They’re really popular.

Me and my girlfriend, her name is Palace, and she goes by Malice on Chaturbate. I don’t see her getting on very much anymore. She might join me a few times in the future, but I think she just wants to focus on making some video content with me instead and get away from camming.

We had this classic… this might be a bad reference, but it gives me Princess Bubblegum and Marceline energy from Adventure Time.

You have the hard goth chick and the bubbly princess, very different vibes, but somehow it’s adorable together.

People loved having us do [explicit language] ratings.

We figured out our own little system. We would get the [explicit language] and talk about it. We had our own metrics.

We’d have aesthetics, shape, vibes, and we’d get scores in each category individually. Then we’d bring it together.

I might be like, “No, that has kind of a four-out-of-ten vibe for me.”

And she’d be like, “What the [explicit language]? I love the vibe of that!”

Then we’re arguing about it on stream together while doing our individual reviews, and people really loved that.

Gary: I was just going to say, that sounds interesting. Like a couple’s [explicit language] ratings.

Violet: Yeah. I think the idea of ratings are reductive.

I’m a big snob for movies and TV shows. I watch reviews for fun, for everything. I don’t like ratings because I think they’re reductive.

If I don’t want to give a movie a numerical rating, I certainly don’t want to give your [explicit language] a numerical rating.

There are so many factors.

I don’t know who it’s attached to. I don’t know the personality. I don’t know how you use it. It might have a weird shape in person, but maybe it’s just the angle on camera.

Maybe it does have a weird shape in person. Now I’m kind of intrigued.

There’s also confidence. How’s your hygiene? Does it smell bad?

That’s a major factor.

Gary: Yeah.

Violet: There’s a lot of information I’m missing here.

Gary: That’s a great point.

Violet: Exactly. That’s kind of where I found… I spent time observing what everyone does, and I’ve done it myself, but then I sit here because I’m just an autistic little freak that overthinks everything.

I’ll be sitting in bed thinking, “This entire thing doesn’t make any goddamn sense. This is silly.”

Then suddenly I’ve invented competitive panel [explicit language] reviews.

So I just kind of find whatever is ridiculous about the sex industry and make it my own.

Gary: You know, like you said, you’ve created something I’ve never heard anyone else do.

Violet: Exactly.

Instead of trying to brainstorm some niche you can force yourself into, I don’t think it’s really about niche.

You do need a niche, but I think the niche is more vibe-based.

For me, that’s actually what’s been so empowering about it.

Sex work can be really dehumanizing, but what I’m finding so empowering about it now is that the way I succeed is by recognizing what people like about me that’s real to me.

The only way for me to succeed now is to look at myself, acknowledge what my best qualities are, and really bring that to the table.

Then whatever is presented to me, I mix that with my best qualities and whatever genuinely interests me and is fun for me.

That’s what creates my success.

I think when people ask, “What’s your niche? What’s your specialty?” that’s really what they need to be doing.

What is fun for you?

How can you take whatever is being thrown at you and make it your own?

If you have to make fun of it, make fun of it.

I’ve made fun of plenty of people on Chaturbate. Most of the time, they love it.

Once you find something ridiculous, just call it out for being ridiculous.

That’s why we’re on livestream. Let it be weird.

Even with OnlyFans, if people wanted porn, they can just go find porn.

They’re there for the awkward social goofiness. They’re there for a personality.

They want it to be real.

So you’ve got to be real.

Sometimes that just means embracing that you’re a [explicit language] little weirdo.

You’ve got to be a weirdo.

Gary: That’s well said.

It’s so simple to say, “Just be yourself.”

But it really sounds like you’re actually translating that into what you do.

Violet: I’m definitely figuring it out.

I’ll say I’m at the point where I wouldn’t say I’m a master at all. But I can see the potential.

I can tell right now I’m in a space where I’m like, “Oh, I’ve got something special here.”

And if I keep doing this, it’s going to work for me.

I know other people in my life might be like, “Are you sure about this, V? This is really hard.”

I’m like, “I know it’s hard. I’ve been doing it for a year. I’ve cracked the code. Shut the [explicit language] up. I got this now.”

I’m at the stage where I’m excited about what I’m going to do next.

I’m really excited to get my pretty 1950s dresses and do photos and weird [explicit language] with that.

I probably want to start recreating some stills or scenes from my favorite movies and TV shows and making them my own.

I really love film, and I don’t know if it’s going to sell, but I know that everything I’ve been really passionate and excited about has done well so far.

And the thing is, I don’t need tens of thousands of fans.

I just need a few people who really like me for who I am and are going to stick around.

It doesn’t really matter if I get 10,000 subscribers in one month if they don’t stick around the next month.

Gary: Yeah.

Violet: A lot of people don’t realize that it’s those hardcore fans that are really important.

That’s definitely what I figured out on Chaturbate.

Most of the time, when you’re there and you have 800 people in your room, you’re not there for 800 people.

You want to get those numbers up because that puts you on the front page. That means everyone new is going to go through your page.

But all you’re really trying to do is find two to five people each stream who really like you and are willing to pay you.

Then each time you get on and announce, those people are automatically coming to you.

Then your next stream you’ve got six people automatically coming to you.

Then ten.

Then fifteen.

Then twenty.

It keeps growing that way.

Gary: Yeah.

Violet: Ignore the 95% that’s just there to jerk off and leave.

You want the people who are sitting there still there after they’ve finished and are all sticky and [explicit language] like that.

Gary: Now, with the people who are giving you tokens and whatnot, are you focusing on them in the chat and DMs?

Violet: I try to avoid private messaging because I find it distracting.

I will do it, but I’ve found that I’ve really started raising my prices for it.

When I first started, I was like, “Why would I charge someone for me to send a private message?”

But if all of a sudden I have ten different private messages going, I’m just flipping through tabs. I’m missing what’s going on in the general chat.

If it’s in a private message, I’m typing back, so it’s not even helping the energy of the room.

What is it getting me?

I really try to avoid private messages.

If you want a one-on-one conversation, that’s what a private show is for.

A private message to me is, “You want to do a private show, but you have things you want to discuss with me first about what you want to do.”

And if you’re not willing to pay me to even get that kind of consultation, why am I going to trust you to pay me to do a private show?

It’s worth my time.

Gary: Right.

Violet: I’m more than willing to have a one-on-one conversation, but not when I’m putting on a show because I’m doing something else right then.

You want to talk to me? Join my OnlyFans.

Gary: Right. With Chaturbate, when you’re in a show like that and you have the chat, do you respond?

Violet: Absolutely. Oh my gosh, yeah.

Typically, when I started, I tried to respond to absolutely everyone.

I used to try to catch every single new follow and thank everyone.

I still try to thank every new follower when I can, although it’s hard to keep up with every follow now.

Sometimes you can even see people when they come in. I’ll try to greet people by name when they come into the room.

Sometimes it’s silly because they’ll come in and immediately leave.

I’m like, “Oh, hi, [explicit language] Guzzler 6970!”

“Goodbye, Cockus 6970. They hated me!”

But you can make it fun.

For me, the names are hysterical too, so that gives me something to keep myself entertained.

I had to learn early on that if I engage too much with gray users, people who have never bought any tokens, it’s actually kind of insulting to some of the people who do tip you and pay you.

So I still talk to gray users when I get started, but once the show is going, I typically start ignoring them.

I’m more than willing to ban someone or boot them.

I’ve had people who just sit there with the most broken English, or they’re typing with one hand, and all they say is, “Show feet,” “Suck,” [explicit language], and they’re spamming the message.

I’m like, “Dude, get the [explicit language] out of here.”

At that point, I’m definitely not interested in engaging with them.

Gary: Well, let’s be honest…

Violet: Yeah.

Gary: That’s probably those Indians that are in your Instagram DMs that are…

Violet: It’s possible.

Gary: You know what I mean?

Violet: Yeah. I do.

Gary: Everyone gets them all the time.

Violet: It’s hilarious.

My wife always shows me her messages. The guys that message her are just hilarious.

Gary: It’s weird.

Violet: Yeah, it’s crazy.

Trust me, I’m a trans woman who’s only been out for like two years.

Three years ago, I couldn’t have imagined this.

I just got hot in the last year and I’m like, “What the [explicit language] is going on?”

I think that might partially be what’s working for me.

I’m hot, but I didn’t grow up hot.

So it’s kind of like… I hate this phrase, but it’s the best I can think of: the “fat kid in high school” syndrome of, “Oh yeah, they’re really pretty now, but they aren’t mean or dismissive.”

Episode #64 Transcript – Part 4

Violet: …because they weren’t always that way.

I think that’s also an element that I can’t say for sure because I don’t know what the comparison is for cis women exactly, but at least as a trans woman, I definitely feel like there’s an element where people feel like I can understand them on maybe a different level.

They’re more willing to have certain conversations with me.

I’m doing a lot of educating. Like, “No, we’re going to have to work on some of your language and really educate you.”

But sure, we have a platform here to help you learn a little bit.

I do get some of what you’re talking about. I’ve been there. I was also that person.

I know what it’s like to be the creepy guy and be scared to talk to anyone. I’ve been that person. I get that. I’ve lived that.

So there’s a level of discomfort you grow up with around sexuality as a man that I can very much relate to because I was there. I’ve experienced that.

I think that creates a different level of connection too.

Gary: That’s interesting.

Alright, time out for one second. I’ve got to let my dog out. My dog’s going to [explicit language] it.

Violet: Unbelievable.

Gary: Let me let the dog out and then I’ve got a few questions we can go through from other cam girls real quick.

Violet: Absolutely.

Gary: Okay, one second.

Violet: Like you’re talking about, “I don’t want to do that shit.”

I’m like, “[explicit language] do that [explicit language].”

You can slap the [explicit language] out of me on a…

Gary: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell did I just walk into?

Violet: She’s out of frame, but my girlfriend’s right here. We were just talking while you were gone.

She was laughing at me talking about the dominatrix stuff. She’s like, “Well, I kind of want to do that.”

I’m like, “Yeah, absolutely. We can film that content. Swap the [explicit language] on me. That’s fine.”

Gary: Oh [explicit language].

So can I ask the both of you then? You two do content together?

Violet: Oh yeah. She’s the person I came down to meet to do content with.

Gary: Oh, okay! So you’re going to do content then?

Violet: We’ve already done it. It’s posted. We’ve got a full video out there on OnlyFans.

Girlfriend: Yep.

Violet: It’s on my OnlyFans and on her Fansly.

Gary: Oh, okay. Fansly. How’s Fansly?

Violet: I know. I’m still learning it.

She’s not going to be approved on OnlyFans yet, and I just got my Fansly up and running.

I don’t feel like uploading all of my content to another platform right now because I’d have to spend so long getting it up to the level of my OnlyFans.

I’m going to do it. I’m just doing it slowly.

I’ve grown tons of pictures and videos organically over the course of a year, and then trying to catch another platform up in a few days is a whole other thing.

Gary: Yeah, that’s a whole other thing because that’s jumping platforms. Chaturbate to OnlyFans is different because it’s livestreaming, but Fansly is kind of similar to OnlyFans, isn’t it?

Violet: It’s similar to OnlyFans, and it seems like it has more of a social media vibe.

It’s kind of like an old-school Facebook feel to it, where you have your wall and a normal feed.

I know OnlyFans has a feed, but I don’t know anyone who scrolls through the feed on OnlyFans.

Gary: Right.

Violet: You really only get people you subscribe to.

I guess old-school Facebook is showing my age. It’s more like X, because you have a stream or feed you can scroll through and get things suggested to you.

So it’s actually, as best I can tell, a good platform to get more naturally discovered.

You’re never going to get naturally discovered on OnlyFans.

I think a lot of girls get frustrated and say, “I made an OnlyFans. Nothing’s happening.”

It’s like, yeah. You have to promote that [explicit language].

You’re a marketer. That’s your real job. Marketing.

Gary: I see that a lot.

People say, “Hey, I made an OnlyFans. Nothing’s happening. What the [explicit language]?”

Violet: Because it’s not enough.

It’s not enough just to post.

Gary: Right.

Violet: With OnlyFans, like you were saying about the feed, there’s no real discovery.

Gary: Yeah, you’re not going to get discovered.

Violet: Exactly. You need to put yourself out there.

Fansly has some cool stuff in there. I’m excited to experiment with it because it has more flexibility than OnlyFans.

OnlyFans is kind of like, you have your page, you can do a free page if you want, and you can sell videos directly on there and have people unlock the content.

I haven’t fooled around with that yet. I will at some point once I have more long-form videos to sell like that.

Right now I just do subscriptions.

With Fansly, you can post content on multiple tiers.

You can say, “Okay, this is just free for everyone, whether you follow me or not.”

This one you have to follow me, which you can do for free, to see.

This one is only for my subscribers.

This one is only for people who are willing to pay.

You can create multiple subscription tiers.

In theory, you can have three different tiers of subscriptions with multiple levels of content.

When you post a big album of pictures or videos, you can select previews that are free or for different lower tiers.

There’s a lot of customizability with Fansly that OnlyFans doesn’t offer, which I find really intriguing, but also kind of overwhelming.

It’s really on the back burner for me.

Gary: For me, it’s like learning a new platform is a full-time job in itself.

Violet: Exactly.

I think it was a mistake I made early on. I felt like when I was advertising myself, I had to be on X, Reddit, making Instagram Reels, making TikToks, doing all those things.

And all those things are good, but you can’t learn all those platforms at once.

I have them all.

I’ve made a few TikToks. They’re not very good.

I’m not focused on it right now.

I’ll get around to it.

Right now, my focus is Reddit and OnlyFans, and then probably X and Instagram somewhere in there.

Once I’ve really mastered Reddit, or not mastered it, but really gotten a handle on Reddit, I’m now dialing in exactly what I want my OnlyFans page to be.

It’s still a little generic for my taste right now.

I want to really hone in on it, make it something I’m happy and proud of, and get it running like a well-oiled machine.

Then I think I’ll probably just say, “[explicit language] X.”

You kind of have to use it because it’s so prolific, but I have issues with that platform.

Honestly, I have no idea how the hell it works.

I’ve got almost 500 followers there.

It’s not that many, but it’s growing.

Gary: It’s growing.

Violet: Instagram, I at least understand what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m just not good at it yet.

That’s going to be my next focus, probably Instagram.

Then I can take those skills and apply them to TikTok, which I think would be fun.

But I’m kind of like, I have them all. I’ll do a TikTok if I feel like it or if I have some content that fits there.

I’m not trying to post every day there.

I post every day on Instagram.

I post every day on Reddit.

I post every day on OnlyFans.

Down the road, I’ll probably post every day on TikTok too.

But I need to get to a certain level of comfort and expertise where it’s not difficult anymore.

It’s easy for me to post to those other platforms because I know what I’m doing.

Gary: So in the beginning, you [explicit language] around with all the social media and it gets overwhelming and exhausting, and then you just get burned out.

Violet: Yes.

Gary: But you found success with Reddit.

Violet: Reddit, yeah. Because I already understood Reddit, so I just focused on that.

Gary: Which you should.

I mean, I don’t know all the different social media platforms, but it seems like there are certain things that work.

Violet: Oh yeah.

My most successful Instagram Reel, I’m like, “This is stupid as hell.”

It’s literally a dumb TikTok filter, and I’m just reacting.

I literally did it in bed on a whim.

I’m like, “Oh, what a stupid filter. Whatever. I’ll post that.”

And it blew up.

Well, it didn’t blow up that much. It’s just got the most views.

I’m like, “Okay.”

Then I’ll actually put effort into some things and they’ll just be fine.

I’m like, “Well, cool.”

I don’t know.

I’m not going to give up on it.

I’m going to keep trying to figure out how to make it fun for me.

But if I’m finding success on just Reddit and stuff like that, then I probably would just not…

If I can’t have fun on those platforms and find success, I’m not going to use them.

And that’s it.

Gary: If you don’t find success, or whatever you want to call it, you’ll stop.

Violet: Exactly.

I might play around with a few more thirst traps.

I don’t find thirst traps fun.

I think they’re boring.

I’m probably going to make an anti-thirst-trap video soon because I think that would be hysterical.

Gary: I was just thinking about that the other day.

Violet: I was eating something at work as fast as I could because I had to get back to the tables.

I was about to walk out through the doors and realized I had food all over my face.

I’m like, “Man, this would’ve been a lot more fun to film.”

What if I did the exact same kind of videos, the same cuts, but instead of videos of me trying to be sexy, it’s me throwing a sandwich down or stumbling?

I’m like, “Yeah, I’m definitely going to do an anti-thirst-trap video.”

I don’t know when it’s coming out, but that’s something I’m excited about.

I want to try different kinds of content.

I’m definitely going to try some different blogging content.

I have a lot of different passions.

Maybe I’ll just talk about my favorite video games or movies or politics.

I’m very involved there.

And if I find an audience on TikTok because I talk about current events and movies and I’m kind of dorky about it, then that’s what I’ll do.

If I get really big on TikTok and people want to go to my page and think, “Oh, this cute girl does all that and has an OnlyFans,” great. Come on board.

We can do that same [explicit language] there too.

Gary: That’s an excellent point.

So if you’re going to try TikTok or Instagram, you don’t have to do the cam-girl stuff on TikTok.

You can do other stuff.

Violet: Exactly.

At this point, I find that I’ve got enough confidence to know people just want to talk and hang out with me.

I don’t really concern myself with fitting myself into a cam-girl or OnlyFans-girl mold.

In fact, I think that’s a lot sexier.

It’s a lot sexier to meet a really dope person, someone you’d never think would be on their OnlyFans, and then all of a sudden you are there.

It’s way closer to that crush feeling you get in real life.

Like, “Oh my gosh, I’m so into this girl.”

You can’t even fathom the possibility of actually getting alone in a bedroom with her.

Then when you actually start getting to that level of intimacy, it’s so much more exciting than just going to a club and finding a hot girl who’s clearly looking for a good time that night.

Yeah, you can do it, but it’s not as exciting.

That’s not going to be an ongoing relationship. That’s just a one-night stand.

I’m here to be the exciting girl that you want to get to know and then realize, “Oh my holy [explicit language], she’s on OnlyFans. I have to join it.”

Gary: Don’t always think of yourself as a cam girl.

Violet: Yeah. I’m just V.

I’m just V.

That’s what I do.

I just be V online.

Then I have my OnlyFans if you want more of me, go there.

Sometimes, like you mentioned that guilt thing earlier about talking to people, my biggest thing is I have so many people that reach out to me and want to talk to me.

I just have to…

I’ll typically give a short response to most messages once.

Sometimes people are like, “Hey,” and I’ll say, “Hey back.”

Then they’ll say, “Do you want to make a three-minute video? I’ll send you some money.”

I’m like, “[explicit language] yeah, I do. Absolutely. What are we doing?”

Some people don’t want OnlyFans on their bank statements and just want to use Cash App.

That’s cool.

I’ll respond the first time, at least for now.

I could see a point down the road where I just can’t even do that anymore because it’s a time thing.

Honestly, for me, I can’t just have conversations with everyone who talks to me.

I’ll never get off my phone.

I’m already struggling with that.

One of the first things I need to get is a second phone because I can’t even look up.

I had to turn off all my notifications on all these apps because I was like, “I’m so ADHD.”

I pick up my phone and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I got 27 notifications. I have to go and check all these.”

It’s just too much.

Gary: But it’s a good problem to have.

Violet: It’s a good problem to have.

It just means there are enough people who want access to me.

If you want a certain level of access, you have to put yourself in that queue.

If you’re not paying anything and you’re not interesting, you’re probably not going to get my attention because there are too many people who want my attention.

Gary: Right.

So basically, it’s on you to manage that.

That’s a great problem to have, but you’ve got to manage it and know what to waste your time on.

Violet: Exactly.

Maybe other people don’t struggle with it, but for me, I genuinely want to respond to everyone.

As soon as they start saying gross or suggestive messages in a non-paid form, I’m like, “I’m not going to let you do your fantasies and get you off for free.”

No. I’m not responding.

As long as they’re being respectful and just talking, I don’t mind.

I like talking to people. I like meeting people.

I just also need to not be on my phone all the time because people in my life want my attention too.

Sometimes I want to go outside and read a book on the porch.

Gary: Right. You have a life.

Violet: Exactly.

You can’t be online all the time.

Episode #64 Transcript – Part 5

Gary: You can’t be online all the time.

Violet: Unless it has to lead to something.

But it does. I mean, this is your business.

Mostly, these are people I would have never met in real life. They would have never met me.

Now that they’ve been exposed to me, if they want to have a relationship with me on that level, because it’s online, the world’s too big.

If everyone in the world who wanted to talk to me got to talk to me, I literally wouldn’t have time for that.

So there has to be some method to filter that.

To me, it’s just, “Are you interesting or are you paying me?”

And I think that’s fair.

I don’t even think that’s reductive. I think that’s totally fair and valid.

That’s how I do things in my real life. I don’t hang out with people who bore me.

Gary: Yeah, exactly.

Violet: And I don’t go to work unless they’re paying me.

I think we’re all that way.

Just because we’re doing sex work, people pretend that’s different.

But people do this with any kind of soft skill that’s more artistic or creative.

If you’re a screenwriter, no one expects you to say, “Yeah, I love writing scripts, so I’m going to do it for free.”

I love it.

I might work on my own personal project that interests me on my own time.

But if you want me to write something for you, you have to pay me.

Just because I enjoy doing it doesn’t mean I’m obligated to do it for free.

And when it comes to sex work, that really does a disservice to the skills that we have.

Not everyone can do sex work.

It takes a certain level of sociability, empathy, and engagement.

I’m not saying people who can’t do it are unempathetic.

It’s more that it takes a level of understanding where you’re able to instinctively and quickly understand where another person is emotionally and engage on that level and meet those needs very quickly and very naturally.

Those are skills and talents that aren’t in wide demand.

That’s what we’re selling.

We’re selling intimacy.

You’re paying for intimacy.

You’re paying for connection.

You’re paying for engagement.

You’re paying for community and companionship.

And that’s okay.

Get over it.

I can’t fix my computer, so I’m going to pay someone to fix that for me.

It’s not really any different.

Sometimes life happens and we need someone to listen to us.

It’s okay.

Maybe you got in an accident and you can’t leave the house, but you’re still a sexual person and you need to get off.

It’s okay that you’re talking to a cam girl.

It’s just a normal, natural thing.

It doesn’t have to be stigmatized.

It’s not taboo.

It’s just a very normal human service like anything else.

But it also deserves to get paid for.

Gary: Absolutely.

What about mental toughness?

You’ve got to have that because…

Violet: Oh yeah. Absolutely.

Especially as a trans girl.

One thing I’ve been doing recently is changing the subreddits I’m willing to post to.

Some of the biggest subs are things like “shemales” and “sissies” and stuff like that.

I won’t post to them.

When I started, I would because I thought I had to in order to get an audience.

But I won’t do it anymore because I find it derogatory and disrespectful.

Gary: I was going to say, those are subreddits that are pretty disrespectful.

Violet: Yeah.

I’ll say that’s one of the hard things.

I think it’s true for every sex worker, but being a trans woman doing sex work makes it easier in some ways and harder in others.

In some ways, it makes it easier to jump in because unfortunately and fortunately, you kind of already fit a niche.

By virtue of who I am, I’m already a fetish.

If you’re just a normal cis girl, you’re not really anyone’s fetish yet.

People might think you’re hot, but by virtue of being a trans girl, I’m automatically a fetish.

On a porn site, you’re not just going to find trans women randomly in the feed. You have to go to that specific category.

I’m a category.

In some ways, that’s easier because you can find your audience.

But in other ways, the fact that me as a person is a category of porn is very dehumanizing too.

You have to get used to that.

You also have to understand that a lot of people, because there aren’t that many trans people, don’t have much real-world exposure to trans women.

Most people might only have encountered trans women through porn or the news.

Neither of those is necessarily kind or informative about our actual lived experience.

People will often use the wrong language.

You have to have thick skin, but you also have to have a certain level of grace because people literally don’t know the right language to use.

They might not understand why it’s insulting to be referred to a certain way or talked to a certain way.

You can get mad about it and be hurt by it, or you can correct them.

If they’re still an [explicit language] after that, [explicit language] them. Get rid of them.

But most people don’t know.

Violet: One thing that happens all the time is that I have an automatic message when someone joins my OnlyFans.

I try to use a conversation starter toward the end, like, “Tell me the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done.”

And it’s so sad.

These poor boys haven’t done anything.

I think the kinkiest thing I’ve seen anyone say is, “I had my girlfriend tie me up once.”

I’m like, “Oh, you poor thing. That’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?”

Meanwhile, I’m over here getting clicker-trained by my girlfriend.

One guy said to me, “The kinkiest thing you’ve ever done was sleep with a trans woman.”

And I’m like, “Okay, wait a minute.”

That kind of behavior happens a lot, where people talk about being with a trans woman as if trans women themselves are a fetish or a kink.

Replace the word “trans” with the word “Asian” and say it again.

If I ask you what the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done and you say, “Having sex with an Asian woman,” that doesn’t sound quite right.

Gary: I would hope so, for most people.

Violet: Right.

It’s dehumanizing and minimizing to that woman.

Another thing that happens is people get confused about whether I’m a crossdresser.

They think being trans and crossdressing are the same thing.

It’s like, no.

I go out like this.

I go to the grocery store like this.

This is me.

There’s never a point where I go out as a boy.

I don’t do that.

Gary: Absolutely.

You have to have thick skin.

Violet: Yeah, especially with the disrespectful people who are just being pieces of [explicit language].

Gary: Yeah.

Violet: It happens.

It doesn’t happen terribly often, but every now and then you’ll post something.

At this point, it’s just funny because I know what I posted is hot as hell.

Then you’ll get comments like, “Disgusting,” or “Gross.”

I’m like, “The only reason you even know I’m trans is because I told you.”

Gary: Right.

Sometimes people use it as a platform to be unnecessarily hateful for no reason.

Violet: At this point, that’s just kind of funny.

Gary: So, real quick, let’s just answer a few questions that some people had.

HornyForLove2 asked, “What advice would you give to a newbie struggling to make money on OnlyFans, Chaturbate, etc.?”

Violet: Those are kind of different things.

I would say don’t expect overnight success.

Pick one platform and be consistent with it.

Pick one platform to put your content on and one platform to market it on.

Then really focus on those two and be consistent.

If you can do it every day, do it every day.

Chaturbate, I think, is harder to do every day.

Some people can do it.

I can’t.

Frankly, I’m not horny enough to do it every day.

That’s exhausting.

I can’t fake it that long.

Gary: Absolutely not.

Violet: Whatever pace you can do, make sure you have a consistent schedule.

Don’t just disappear.

You can’t do a monthly content drop on a random day and expect people to keep coming back.

The way you build it is that people keep coming back.

The reason people subscribe to Netflix and stick with it is because every time they log in, there’s always something new.

It’s always updated.

If your page is never updated, if you’re never there, if they never know when you’re going to be there, they’re not going to come looking for you.

Every other subscription service we use, we go there to see what’s new.

If there’s never anything new, why are they going to go?

Gary: That’s [explicit language] great advice. I need to take that advice too.

It’s not just for cam girls. It’s for…

Violet: Exactly.

It’s not any different than any other business.

What you’re trying to get is engagement.

So how do you drive engagement?

Consistency.

It’s just consistency.

You want people coming to your page to be a habit.

I started going to IGN when I was a kid because I was trying to look up information about Super Smash Bros. Brawl and when it was going to come out.

I started going to IGN almost every single day as a ritual.

Honestly, it’s kind of a trash website, but guess what?

I still go every goddamn day.

There are other, better online video game publication sites.

I still start with IGN every single day because I’ve been doing it for ten years.

It’s a habit.

It’s always new.

I got into the habit of knowing that Monday through Saturday there would be new stuff on their page.

At least I have something to scroll through.

It might not interest me, but I clicked, I searched, and I went there.

Gary: I love how you said that too.

Become someone’s habit.

Violet: Yeah.

Think of it like that.

Become someone’s habit by being yourself.

Try different stuff.

If you work hard on a post or come up with an idea and it doesn’t work out, okay.

Go again tomorrow.

Try something different.

It’s always the thing you just kind of threw out there that catches fire.

Then you’re like, “Oh [explicit language]. I guess that worked.”

Also, don’t give up on something you tried the first time just because it didn’t work.

Maybe you posted at the wrong time of day.

Catching the traffic at the right time is so important.

And I can’t even tell you exactly what the right time is because…

Gary: It changes.

Violet: Exactly.

It changes day to day.

It’s all online algorithms.

Once you post, you get a boost from just being a new post.

If enough people don’t see it and engage with it, then as more new posts come in, it’s going to get buried.

It might have been a great post, but for whatever reason, it just got buried.

That’s okay.

If you post every day, it’s bound to happen.

At least on Reddit, at this point, I have around 3,000 followers.

That grew from around 600 followers two weeks ago.

Now I always post directly to my own page, and people do just as well there as on any subreddit I post to.

People have a habit of going to my personal page because I caught on enough in these other subreddits that people followed me.

Now they’re seeing my posts directly in their feeds.

As long as you’re posting every day, you’re going to catch people bit by bit.

The more people that like you and like the stuff that you do, the more they’re going to engage with it when you post.

Then that’s going to put you in front of more people.

It’s exponential.

It’s hard to get going, but once you have a few people engaging, that drives more engagement.

That puts you in front of more people.

They engage.

It’s not that no one likes you.

It’s the fact that they just haven’t met you yet.

Gary: Yeah.

Would you say that if you only have a few people engaging with you, that should tell you something might be working?

Maybe you should keep with it?

Violet: Yeah.

Definitely take note of what’s working.

On Instagram, I love looking at the stats.

I’ll get on Instagram and see how a post is doing compared to my average post.

I’ll be like, “Huh. That one I was really excited about really underperformed.”

I’m kind of curious to check after I get off here because I posted a whole bunch of pictures from last night of me being tied up.

I was really excited about it, and it was just an average post.

I’m like, “Huh. I really thought this one was going to catch fire.”

That’s okay.

Maybe people don’t think of me as a rope bunny yet.

That’s fine.

But I also [explicit language] love being tied up, so I’m going to keep posting that [explicit language] as I find more people who tie me up.

I’m not too worried if it doesn’t catch fire now because there are people who are going to want to see a cute girl getting tied up.

It’s just bound to get in front of the right people eventually.

Gary: That’s great.

I’m glad you said that because that’s something people should understand.

If you’re into something, just post that [explicit language].

Don’t even think of it as, “This is part of my business.”

You’re doing it anyway.

Post it.

Violet: Exactly.

I’m a [explicit language] rope bunny.

If I can find an excuse to get tied up more, I’m like, “Hey guys, I really need you to come over and tie me up and take a lot of pictures.”

“I need you to tell me what to do and make sure I can’t move at all and take lots of pictures and videos because I need it for my job.”

It’s not because I want to.

I need it.

It’s my job.

I’m just like, “Could you help me, please?”

And then you think I’m going to pass that up?

[explicit language] no.

Gary: Absolutely.

Violet: Use your job to have an excuse to do more of what you love.

You’ll find people who like it too.

Gary: Wait. I’ve got one more question.

Violet: Okay.

Gary: And then that’s it. I won’t bother you anymore.

Violet: You’re okay. I can talk forever.

Gary: Good, good.

Jade Alur asked, “What advice do you wish you had when you started camming?”

Violet: Even if you’re brand new, don’t undervalue yourself.

If you look at Apple, no one goes to the Apple Store and expects to find a 50% off deal or go in and bargain for a better deal.

Apple has their prices.

They’re more expensive than everyone else.

They’re not going to put themselves on sale, and they’re not going to bargain with you.

But people still go there and buy it.

They spend more because it’s perceived as high value.

People are going to try to talk you down.

Especially when you’re new, you’re going to feel like, “No one’s paying me anything, I guess I should just do it.”

I used to try to do streams where people would contribute enough tokens as a group that I would say, “Okay, now we’re going to take off this article of clothing, and then this one.”

Then I’d be there for two hours and my shirt would still be on.

I’m like, “Well, [explicit language], what do I do? I guess I’ll just do it now.”

But now you’re just giving [explicit language] away for free.

You’ve given the power away.

A lot of it really is a power play.

You both want something from each other.

You have to have a certain amount of respect for yourself.

Sometimes you just have to adjust your prices.

Maybe they are too high.

Play around with it.

But don’t sell yourself short either.

Especially on Chaturbate.

The tokens can really pull you away.

You’re thinking, “Oh my gosh, 100 tokens. That was a lot.”

But we only get half of that.

That’s $5.

Gary: 100 tokens is $5?

Violet: Yeah. It’s $5.

I’ve seen some people say, “Absolutely, I’ll just masturbate on camera for 100 tokens.”

100 sounds like a lot.

You’re going to do that in front of dozens or hundreds of people for $5?

If you’re cool with that, that’s fine.

But I think you’re underselling yourself.

So I would say that for sure.

Have a consistent schedule.

Consistency is really important.

And self-care is really important.

It’s okay if you said you were going to be there for three hours and you can only be there for an hour and a half.

It’s fine.

Yes, on Chaturbate, I would say you should try to be on for at least three hours at a time.

Typically, your first hour of any stream is just getting the room moving.

You aren’t really going to see the money pouring in until at least an hour and a half or two hours in.

Sometimes it’s not until hour three.

You might spend the first three hours just getting the right audience there and maybe making five, ten, twelve bucks.

Then the last hour you’ve made a few hundred or more.

You need to get to that point.

But you also need to take care of yourself.

It’s tricky because once you realize that can happen, you get this mindset where you’re exhausting yourself and you won’t log off.

You’re like, “Maybe just five minutes more.”

Then you get a few tokens and you’re like, “Okay, well, if the money’s going to start coming in, I’ll stick around.”

The next thing you know, you’ve been on for an extra two hours.

You’re exhausted.

You hated it.

You’ve ruined your entire day.

If you’re consistent, just be consistent and take care of yourself.

Maybe you could have made an extra $100 or $200 that day if you’d stuck around that extra hour.

But if you’re there tomorrow too, you’ll be okay.

If you stick around for the extra two hours and exhaust yourself, you’re not going to want to go back the next day.

You’re going to dread doing it.

Once you get to a point where you make yourself hate it, you have to stop and take a break.

You’ve got to love what you do.

And if you don’t love it, you might want to get out.

It’s okay.

Gary: Yeah.

It’s not the job to do if you don’t love it.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand that we can’t all love our jobs.

Most of us unfortunately just have to work a job we don’t enjoy because you’ve got to live and pay bills.

Sex work might not be the one, though, because if you’re not enjoying it, it’s a very personal thing.

It can really impact the rest of your life too.

You saw that with your partner.

Violet: Yeah.

When we were camming twice a week, it really impacted our own sex life.

All of a sudden you’re thinking, “Oh, we need to save this energy for stream.”

Or, “We don’t want to do this.”

Then you realize you’ve gone weeks without actually having sex with each other when you’re not putting on a show.

If you’re not having a good time when you’re doing the show, suddenly now we have a problem.

It’s going to throw everything off.

Like you said in the beginning, you’ll make yourself hate sex if you don’t enjoy this job.

Gary: And no job’s worth that.

Violet: Absolutely.

It’s going to destroy your personal life.

You’re not going to be able to make any money because people can see you’re not enjoying it.

And when you’re not enjoying it, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You’re going to do worse and worse and worse.

I took a six-month break.

I put myself in therapy and dealt with past abuse and stuff like that.

I was working through all of that because all of a sudden I started seeing things and thinking, “Oh [explicit language], I’m unlocking memories here. This is really bad.”

I was having panic attacks.

I thought, “Let me take a break and not do this.”

I feel better now, and I can engage with it again.

It didn’t work for me for a little bit.

Take a break.

Maybe it’s a day.

Maybe it’s a month.

Maybe it’s six months, like it was for me.

It doesn’t mean that you failed.

During those six months, I still researched it.

I still casually engaged every now and then.

I still spent a lot of time learning and reflecting.

Then I came back with a ton of success.

It doesn’t have to be a linear success story.

Gary: And I guess you’re living proof.

You came back, and for now, we’ll see what happens in another month.

Violet: Check back in a month. We’ll see.

Gary: Hopefully everything’s going good.

Violet: I don’t see it changing.

I think we’re on the right trajectory.

Gary: It has to be.

Violet: Yeah.

The thing is, that’s kind of in my power now.

The momentum is there.

I just have to follow it.

Gary: Continue with what you’re doing because exactly what you’re doing is working.

Violet: Exactly.

The only reason I wouldn’t keep going is if I stopped having fun.

If I’m not doing it a month from now, it’s because I stopped having fun.

Then I’ll do something else that’s more fun.

Gary: And that’s it.

Especially with camming, YouTube, Twitch, Chaturbate, OnlyFans, whatever it is, if it sounded really fun…

Violet: Yeah.

As a content creator, you have to have fun with it.

If you have fun with it, it’s going to show.

There are some people who can put out schlock every day and get enough views to survive.

But I understand those people are miserable.

I think about those family YouTuber channels where parents are forcing their kids to do that [explicit language] every day.

They’re doing good on YouTube and making some money, but now they hate each other.

Cool. You made a lot of money, but at what cost?

Gary: Yeah.

Violet: And it will end.

You’ve seen it happen, especially on YouTube.

YouTubers who are clearly fake and cater to a certain audience eventually hit a wall.

Gary: Yeah.

Violet: Since they’re just doing fake [explicit language], guess what?

Anyone can do fake [explicit language].

If you stop doing that thing that you hate doing for a little bit, none of those people are there for you.

If you’re not doing content that’s unique to you, no one’s there for you.

Which means if you stop putting out the slop one time, they’re gone.

They weren’t there for you.

They were there for the slop.

They were there for whatever you were putting out that was generic.

Yeah, I got views.

I got clicks.

But they’re not loyal.

Gary: Right.

Violet: So slip up.

Be yourself.

The [explicit language] is this?

This is what I signed up for.

I actually literally turned down an opportunity to work with a much larger creator.

I was excited about it.

I would like to work with them in the future, but I realized they were too big for me to work with right now.

If I did, I would get tons of their fans, and then all of a sudden they would be there for her content.

It would be on my page.

And if I didn’t keep doing it, they’d be gone.

I’m like, “Well, I can’t do that forever. That’s not who I am.”

It would be fun one time.

And once I’m bigger and more on her level, absolutely, we can have a crossover episode and it’ll be fun.

But until that point, it might get me overnight success, but it’ll kill me in the long run.

Get big slow.

Take your time.

Figure out what you enjoy doing.

It might take a long time.

If you’re enjoying doing it, then as long as you’re having fun, who cares?

Violet: That’s why I had to stop and go back to waitressing.

When it suddenly became that I had lost my job and had to rely on camming for survival, and I didn’t have the audience to back that up yet, suddenly I was beholden to:

“I need to pay rent each month.”

“How do I make Chaturbate pay my rent when I don’t have that income yet?”

Now we’re making different kinds of content.

We’re getting to a level of desperation that’s going to destroy you.

You can’t live off this job until you can live off this job.

Gary: Well said.

You see that all the time on the OnlyFans advice forums.

People are saying, “I gotta make the money.”

And yeah, it’s a good way to put yourself in a compromising position.

When you’re desperate, this is not the job to be desperate in.

Violet: No.

They will eat you alive.

It can be a lot of fun, but you’ve got to have standards.

You’ve got to have self-respect.

You’ve got to be able to stand up for yourself.

And if you’re in a desperate position where you’re trying to put food on the table, you really don’t have much to stand on to say no.

This is not a job you want to be in while you’re vulnerable.

Gary: Absolutely.

Violet: You’re [explicit language]…

Gary: Yeah.

So we’d better…

Violet: [laughing] I gotta let my dog out.

He’s [explicit language].

I don’t know where you’re at, but it was [explicit language] nice out earlier.

Now it’s like [explicit language] 40 degrees, and my dog’s been out there for a while.

The ASPCA might come after me, so I better [explicit language] go get her.

Gary: I think I’m the only trans [explicit language] off to Florida for a vacation, so I’m okay right now with the weather.

But I’m going to have to go back to the cold soon.

Violet: Oh, that sucks for you.

Gary: [laughing]

But yeah, this has been a great conversation.

I had fun.

Not only did I have fun, I actually learned from you for myself.

I’m not a cam girl or anything.

I could take a lot of the stuff you said and apply it to myself and a lot of stuff I do.

Violet: Absolutely.

Gary: So I appreciate it.

Violet: Yeah. This has been a [explicit language] learning experience.

Gary: Hell yeah.

It’s been a learning experience for me too.

But yeah, Princess V, where can everyone find you?

Violet: Everyone can go to the YouTube community.

They can go to my Instagram.

I have fun on Instagram.

I think it’s As Told by Violet.

Gary: Perfect.

Violet: They can find me on Instagram and X.

I don’t post on TikTok very often.

You’re welcome to follow me there.

Maybe I’ll start posting soon.

Gary: Absolutely.

Thanks for everything.

It’s been a great conversation.

Talk to you in about a month, maybe see how that’s going.

Violet: Absolutely. Hit me up anytime. I’ll be here.

Gary: Alright, great.

Violet: Alright.

Gary: So we’ll talk to you soon.

Violet: Yep. Talk to you soon.

Gary: Great. Bye-bye.

Violet: Thanks.

Gary: Thanks for watching. Be sure to follow us on our social media below.

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See you fly honeys on the next video.