How K3yP4rty Built a Community on Chaturbate and Found Their Niche | Cam Girl Diaries Podcast #82

Full Episode Transcript

Gary: Turn the fuck up!

Welcome to the Cam Girl Diaries Podcast. I’m your host, Gary Gabagool, Pervert Pete, Bill Frank, whatever the fuck you want to call me. It doesn’t matter.

This is the podcast mainly for cam girls and other adult-industry creators who are trying to learn about the industry and love hearing everybody’s stories.

Today we have K3yP4rty, Acadia and Asher Grey. Thank you guys for being here.

Acadia: Glad to be here.

Asher: Absolutely.

Gary: So first off, tell us about K3yP4rty.

Acadia: Where to start?

K3yP4rty is our music project together. We’re professional dominants, and we’ve both worked in the music industry previously as professional songwriters. We actually met through music. We met on Warped Tour.

This project is completely different from anything we’ve done before. We took inspiration from all of the different things we do, including camming, being professional dominants and our previous work in music, and all of those pieces came together.

It’s turned into this very sex-positive, kinky, really wild project. Honestly, it’s one of those things where you kind of have to see it to believe it.

Gary: Okay, now it makes sense. I was looking at everything and trying to figure out how the hell your music videos were this good.

Your music videos are fucking amazing. I was blown away by the production quality. I was thinking, “Okay, they’re dominants and everything, but how are they this good? Did they hire people? This must have cost a fucking fortune.”

But now it makes sense because you guys have a music background.

Asher: Yeah. I used to play in all kinds of different bands, including metal bands and pop-punk bands. I was in a pop-punk band when we met.

You know how bands go. Members come and go. Eventually, I decided to take my own path and move to New York City to be with her, and the rest is history.

We started dominating together. She really introduced me to the experience, and now it’s our everyday life.

All of that gets poured into K3yP4rty, so we describe it as a BDSM-fueled electro-punk project.

Gary: I fucking love it. It’s awesome.

Can we play a video?

Acadia: Sure.

Gary: And we won’t get copyright-struck on YouTube?

Acadia: We give permission.

Gary: Oh yeah, that’s right. You need permission. Fucking idiot.

Let’s play this. It’s fucking great.

[A clip from K3yP4rty’s music video plays.]

Gary: That was just a little sample, but everyone should check out their YouTube channel and website. We’ll put the links in the description.

You guys also have another song coming out, right?

Acadia: We have another song dropping on March 6. We actually coined it our pegging song. It’s called “Take It Like a Man,” and we have a pretty sick music video for it as well.

Gary: You can imagine.

Acadia: Exactly.

Gary: March 6. That’s this Friday if you’re watching the show when it drops.

But seriously, everything you guys do is fucking awesome. The design of the website, the pictures, everything is tight.

Acadia: We’ve taken some time to get there. We’ve done other projects before, and I think this one just had so much vision behind it.

We know what is K3yP4rty and what isn’t K3yP4rty. We’ll jokingly see something that’s totally irrelevant and say, “Very K3yP4rty” or “Not very K3yP4rty.”

You just know when it is and when it isn’t.

It’s actually been really easy to brand because we’re very locked in on the project.

Gary: Right. That’s why everything looks so tight. You guys know what the fuck you’re doing.

Acadia: Funny enough, when we came up with the concept, we did all the brainstorming before we even wrote the first song.

“Worship My Body,” the song you just showed, was actually the first song we wrote for the project.

We were driving back from a road trip and talking about all the crazy stories we’d experienced working as professional dominants and cam models. We just sat there and said, “K3yP4rty is the perfect name. This is what it’s going to look like, and this is what it’s going to sound like.”

We got home, got to work, and here we are a whole year later.

Gary: It’s fucking awesome. Do you guys perform? I think I saw that you perform at adult conventions or something.

Acadia: We’ll give you a fun little surprise because we haven’t officially announced this yet.

We just got the official confirmation that we’re going to be playing at DomCon LA.

So we’ll be at DomCon. If anybody’s there, say hi.

Our goal is to be touring later this year. We don’t really have limits or parameters on where we’re playing or what we’re doing. We’re trying to get more involved with different adult expos too.

Gary: Your music is perfect for the industry.

Acadia: It’s for the girls and for the gooners.

Gary: Exactly. About 35% of our audience is gooners, so that’s always good.

I saw that “Take It Like a Man” drops March 6, but are you guys going to be in Austin, Texas, on March 13?

Acadia: Yes.

Gary: What are you doing? You’re playing there, right?

Acadia: Yeah. We’ll be playing at South by Southwest.

We’re doing two different events, at least for now. One is a showcase with a group called Banserts. It’s going to be a VanFest.

The other is a secret tunnel rave being put on by Keep Austin Hard, which I found to be a very fitting name.

It’s going to be a wild time at South by Southwest.

Gary: That’s fucking awesome.

Austin has Kill Tony out there too. You don’t really do comedy, but you should write a minute, throw your name in the bucket and see if you get on Kill Tony.

Acadia: We’ll put it into the universe.

Gary: Make it happen.

Asher: We’ve got funny stories.

Acadia: We have stories.

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Getting Started in Adult Work

Gary: So, Asher, your background is music, and Acadia, you’re a professional dominatrix.

Acadia: Yeah. I got started pretty young as a professional dom. I was around 19 when I originally started training in real life as a professional dominant.

It wasn’t until I was about 20 that I started moving over to the camming side of things.

I’ve also worked in the music industry as a professional songwriter, so it’s always been this back-and-forth.

It was only really within the last year or so that we started going full-time with this project and professional domination.

Before that, it was always a little bit here, a little bit there. Eventually I thought, “What if I just did this all the way?”

We were both working tech jobs and corporate jobs, and I decided to approach this with more of a business mindset.

I made a business plan, and it just popped.

Asher: It was making double our combined income from our tech jobs.

Acadia: So we were like, “I think I can quit.”

Then the next month we were like, “I think you can quit.”

Asher: She was like, “We’re losing money. You need to leave. You need to be here to help me.”

Gary: That’s fucking awesome.

So you guys actually came up with a plan and executed it.

Acadia: Exactly.

Coming from a corporate background, we really approached it like a business. We started from the ground up. We had a plan.

We knew how we were going to find new submissives, how we were going to connect with other cam girls, and we started doing more collaborations.

Some have been announced, and some haven’t yet.

It’s growing at an exponential rate, faster than either of us thought it would.

Gary: I feel like this is Shark Tank or some shit. You guys are pros.

Acadia: Within the cam space, I’ve had one of my profiles for a pretty long time. I basically taught him how to dominate and cam, so we already had an account that was somewhat built up.

But we started looking at the cam site as our marketing.

Instead of saying, “This is our income,” we looked at it as, “This is our funnel.”

We have everything else that we’re funneling people toward. That could be our music, our other spicy sites, places to talk to us, clips, whatever it is.

That’s how we found the best use for it.

We still make money camming, but we’re looking at it from a different perspective instead of treating it as the entire business.

Honestly, if you watch our cam shows, they’re kind of like a podcast.

It’s basically us hanging out.

If you want more, we’ll direct you to where you can meet us and then we can dig deeper into your submissive desires.

That’s where we really foster the relationship.

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Why Chaturbate Is So Important to Their Business

Gary: So where do you cam?

Acadia: Mainly Chaturbate. Chaturbate has been my foundational platform. That’s where it all started.

We also stream on LoyalFans, and I only recently started using Chaturbate Family.

LoyalFans is much more fetish-specific. That’s where a lot of the financial domination happens.

Chaturbate is different because there are people coming on there for all kinds of things. You can scroll through the pages and see just about anything.

On LoyalFans, the people there are often looking for a specific fetish interaction, and a lot of it is driven by financial domination.

Gary: So on Chaturbate, is that where you guys mostly just sit there and talk to people?

Acadia: Yeah. We’re very real on there.

We do a lot of domination, but we also make friends. We continue talking to people day after day and week after week.

Whether they have money to spend on us at that particular moment or not, we treat it more like a podcast.

We show them who we are. They build trust with us, and when they’re ready, they can spend money and we can make it a much more personal experience because we’ve gotten to know them.

Gary: A lot of relationship building.

Acadia: Exactly.

Gary: Years ago, my wife and I used to watch Chaturbate because some of the shit was just like, “What the fuck are they doing?”

There was this couple where all they did was talk to people. They had thousands and thousands of people watching, and they were just hanging out and talking.

I remember thinking, “This is fucking awesome.”

So you guys just hang out there and then point people in different directions?

Acadia: Exactly.

We do different things to get people engaged.

Of course, we have a tip menu like everyone else. Our tip menu is something people either love or hate because everything on it is non-nude.

It’s basically visually PG. There are dom-specific things on there, but we also use the tip menu for incentives.

For example, we’re currently trying to win Battle of the Bands to get onto Warped Tour.

I’ll tell people, “Thank you for being here. Make sure you follow us, then go down to my links. Your first task of the day is to vote for us to play Battle of the Bands on Warped Tour.”

Some people do it.

Then they discover that we make music. That leads them to our music videos.

Then I’ll say, “If you like, comment and subscribe across all of our channels,” which I can verify on my phone, “you’ll get a free piece of spicy content.”

I’ll give it to them through Chaturbate.

Some people get really into it and ask, “What can I do next?”

So I keep giving them more tasks.

And even if someone is a gray, somebody who has no money or tokens and has never tipped, we don’t ignore the grays.

A lot of girls use a gray filter to turn them off. We never do.

I’ve made so much money off the grays.

That’s a top-tier tip: Do not ignore the grays.

They may have money at some point.

The number of people who come back months later ready to spend their whole paycheck on us is unbelievable.

But they also want to be part of the community you’re building.

I think a lot of creators don’t realize there’s a community to be built because it feels like you’re in your own little cam bubble.

But if you create a community, people start coming into the room and saying, “Oh, hey, my dude.”

Then they’ll talk to each other about us. They’ll say things like, “Oh my gosh, you guys love this hair versus that hair.”

Everybody starts having conversations.

For us, that’s also important with music. When we go on tour, people from our online community will be excited to see us in real life.

The same thing applies to conventions and conferences we plan on attending.

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Building a Community Instead of Just Building an Audience

Gary: That’s fucking brilliant.

When I used to do YouTube, I had this character called Pervert Pete, and someone coined the name “Cockboy Nation” for the community.

I’d do live streams where I was just hanging out and talking to people.

Those hardcore fans were the people who pushed everything forward.

You’re totally right. You don’t really think about community-building as a camming thing. You think about it as a YouTuber thing.

Acadia: Building a community is huge because the relationship really drives everything.

If people feel like they know us and like us, they’ll remember that.

They might go to someone else, and there are professionals and amateurs across the adult industry. If they’re going through all the people online and they’ve gotten to know us, then they encounter someone who’s disrespectful or unprofessional, they’re going to come back to us.

There’s a time and place for everything, but there’s a level of trust.

They know we’re going to treat the situation professionally, and they can come back over and over again, figuratively and literally.

Gary: I think another thing is the personality aspect.

I saw a really big OnlyFans creator, Ari Kytsya, talk about this. She said the personality side is incredibly important, and a lot of creators lose sight of that.

Anybody can see somebody naked on the internet.

Why you?

Why should somebody care about seeing you specifically?

You need to make somebody want to see specifically you naked.

You have to make them go down the rabbit hole.

Acadia: I think our fans love that.

They love the fact that finding our content can be a challenge. It exists, but you might have to go looking for it and pay to see it in different ways.

It’s like breadcrumbing.

It makes them want it more, which puts more value on it.

Gary: You guys also have great personalities. I could see you guys on Twitch or YouTube doing live shows that aren’t even adult content.

Just hanging out and talking like you do on Chaturbate.

You guys have great chemistry.

Acadia: We enjoy talking. We have chemistry, and we like sharing that with the audience.

For us, that’s much more valuable than simply showing everything.

If that’s somebody else’s brand, that’s fine. It’s just not currently our brand.

Gary: Right.

Acadia: I’ve definitely shown everything before.

Asher: It has been our brand.

Acadia: It has been our brand. If you want to see me 100 pounds heavier and showing everything, feel free to find that on the internet.

But now our whole thing is different.

If somebody really wants it, they can find it, but our personality is a huge part of what we’re selling.

We’ve gone to events like XBIZ and met other creators, and you really see that there are people who may be at the top of their field but aren’t necessarily strong on the personality side or the connection side.

Those soft skills matter.

I’m really happy with the direction we’ve taken and the way we’ve been able to maintain these people so they don’t just move on after getting what they wanted.

They come back.

They think about us.

We guide them toward our music, our live streams, our new platforms and our specials.

We’re constantly giving people ways to go a little deeper with us.

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Asher’s Role as a Male Dominant

Gary: It seems like no matter what you guys want to do, you can do it.

Acadia: We’ve done every job under the sun.

When we know what we want to do, we just go for it.

We’ve done some of the worst jobs imaginable, so we’ve seen it.

At this point, we’re like, “What do we have to lose?”

If it doesn’t work, we’ll figure something else out.

Gary: You try it, you fail, and then you try something else.

Acadia: Exactly.

There are plenty of jobs out there. You may not like them, but nobody really likes their job.

We’ve found a way to love this.

Gary: So I have to go back to the dick ratings.

Asher, do you participate in that?

Asher: Yeah, I do.

I do everything she does.

The majority of my clientele are men, and a lot of them want a straight man to tell them exactly how to do something and why to do it.

At this point, I’m very comfortable with it. That’s the brand that has developed around me.

I have submissives I work with, and I do a lot of feminization.

I encourage people to put on panties. I’ll talk about the types of panties and bras I like and how I want them to wear them.

I try to persuade these gooners, whether they’re men or women, to feel as submissive as possible.

That’s always the goal.

A lot of what we do is together, so part of our appeal is that we’re a power couple. Both of us are telling them what to do.

If I’m going to do something with somebody, they may need to be trained first, so she’s going to train them on what I like.

Acadia: Strap-on play is a huge thing for us.

The idea is that I’m using the strap-on and training them, whether it’s their mouth or another part of their body, to accommodate him.

It’s a multi-part journey.

Asher: For a lot of these gooners, the fantasy is having a straight man do something to them.

By dressing them in panties and a bra, she’s feminizing them, and that creates a framework where it’s okay for me to interact with them in the way they’re fantasizing about.

Acadia: We do a lot of psychological domination.

I’d say we’re more on the sensual-dom side. Some people want more intense physical things, but for the most part we’re more psychological.

Tease and denial, role-play and the dynamic between the two of us are all major parts of what we do.

In the beginning, it took Asher some time to get used to everything.

Asher: I had to get past the buttholes, dicks, cum eating and everything else.

Acadia: But it goes beyond that.

When it comes to custom content, I do more domination, while he does more pornographic content.

Asher: Yeah, if you go looking for my content, you’re going to find a lot of my dick.

We do a lot together. We both dominate, but when it comes down to the actual porn side, there’s more content focused on me.

A lot of it involves showing people what to do to me.

Gary: When you say porn, what exactly do you mean?

Asher: If we’re going to teach someone how to make somebody feel good, she has to train them on how I like things before they can do anything with me.

She’ll demonstrate what I like, and then tell them to show her how they would do it.

Acadia: And if you want to be a perfect submissive for us, put on your lipstick.

Let me show you how to put on lipstick. Let me show you how to snap your bra or unsnap your bra.

We’ll say, “This is what he likes. You see that he likes me in this little black dress. I’m going to put this hair on you. He likes makeup like this, so now you’re going to do it.”

It’s all part of the fantasy.

One particular photo of Asher’s has made us somewhere around $25,000 to $30,000.

One photo.

It was from years ago, and we’ve sold it over and over.

You never know when you’re going to have one piece of content that just keeps making money.

It isn’t even a video. It’s a photo.

That’s why having content ready to go is so important.

Gary: That’s why you guys call him the porn star.

Acadia: Exactly. Because he actually has to whip it out.

Gary: Asher Grey, the $30,000 dick.

Asher: I need that on a T-shirt.

Acadia: We need to insure it.

Gary: We have hand models out here insuring their hands, so you might as well insure the dick.

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High-End Clients, Contracts and Long-Term Submissives

Gary: It sounds like you’re putting a lot of time and effort into individual customers.

Acadia: Absolutely.

When our clientele are ready to go, it’s not usually a little couple-of-dollar situation.

When they’re finally ready, we’re signing contracts.

We’re sending contracts out for two weeks, two months, six months or even a full year.

We maintain constant communication with those people because we’ve built trust with them.

If they’re spending their whole paycheck working with us, they know we’re going to communicate with them daily.

They’re also required to fulfill the tasks we’ve given them so they can meet our standards.

Gary: That’s a submissive contract kind of thing?

Acadia: Exactly.

We offer fuck contracts, chastity contracts, regular submissive contracts and key holding.

We’ve also done virtual cuck contracts.

Some people don’t want a male involved. They might say, “I want to see her do something.”

We’ll say, “Okay, in order to do that, we’ll send you content and you’ll come back and tell us what you think.”

We’ll have them take action.

Sometimes they’ll send money for us to go to dinner or on a date, and we’ll send them photos from the dinner showing that we’re together.

They could never actually be on a date with us.

Or we’ll send photos from an Uber where his hand is on my knee.

It’s the weird little details that they pick up on.

I don’t think about it, but they’ll say, “Oh my God, the way his hand is on her hand!”

And I’m like, “Who knew that a hand on a hand could be that exciting?”

Gary: That sounds fucked up.

Acadia: They love it.

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Helping Other Adult Creators Understand Their Value

Acadia: It’s definitely different from what the majority of other creators seem to do, which is cool.

I like being different.

We also talk to a lot of other creators who are in different spaces and help them figure out their value.

I find that a lot of creators undervalue what they have.

We’ll get random voice notes in our DMs from creators asking, “I’m on this platform. Do you know about this? What are you doing for this?”

We’ll say, “Here’s what you’re going to do. You should charge this much. Don’t do this.”

It’s cool to help other people see their value.

The adult industry is so stigmatized, and then you see creators on OnlyFans and social media who appear to be making huge amounts of money.

Other creators compare themselves and think, “I’m not making as much as them.”

Then they lower their prices.

We come in and say, “You can ask for more. Make them work for it.”

Please don’t be showing your feet for free on the internet. Stop.

People want to do this professionally, but they come in without knowing how to ask for the money.

We come from a sales background, so we know how to ask the right questions.

“What are your fetishes?”

“Tell me more about that.”

“Have you done this in real life?”

“Is this just a fantasy?”

“Tell me more about what you actually want to get out of this.”

Then we can value it.

A lot of people just say, “Hey, what’s up, hot stuff?” and someone says, “Show me your pussy,” and they think $5 is fair.

Girl, no.

Make sure someone earns it.

Build the trust.

Ask the questions.

Make them want it before you give it to them.

That’s your value.

You are a beautiful person. Make sure somebody has to earn access to you.

Acadia: That’s been huge for us too.

We’ve looked at what we used to charge for privates, customs and other things, and then compared that with what we charge now.

Even month to month, I’m always creeping the price up.

I’ll send something for a certain amount and think, “Are they going to unlock it?”

Then they do.

And we’re like, “Wait. We haven’t been charging enough this whole time.”

The more creators are open with each other about pricing and encourage each other to price higher, the more everybody wins.

People do want to spend money.

There’s also a psychological element.

I’m on Reddit a lot, talking to other girls and teaching them.

I’ll tell them, “If you raise your price a little, it can also make you look like you’re higher value. You just have to figure out the perfect amount.”

Then they’ll come back and say, “I raised my price by $2 and they still bought it.”

Sometimes their sales actually increase.

And I’m like, “Yeah. Because you have value.”

They may not know exactly why it feels different to them, but now they’re spending money and treating you like a premium product.

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Their OnlyFans Strategy

Gary: Do you guys have an OnlyFans?

Acadia: We do.

We currently use OnlyFans more for custom content and contracts. It’s one of our main places for finding contracts and talking to people directly.

We’re also in the process of building it up with more general content, photos, videos and everything else.

This is also going to be the year of clips.

Mark my word. I’m saying it here on camera.

Recorded.

I can make custom clips all day long, but when it comes to sitting down and saying, “I’m going to make this clip and put it in the store,” that’s a roadblock for me.

So, yes, we have OnlyFans.

Gary: What’s your opinion on free versus paid OnlyFans? I see people arguing about that all the time on Reddit.

Acadia: We currently only have a paid OnlyFans.

That said, I see the benefits of having a free account, especially if you’re already a cam girl and used to streaming.

The OnlyFans live feature has been very lucrative for a lot of creators I know.

You can promote the livestream ahead of time just like you would any other scheduled event.

You can build a large audience on a free OnlyFans and then say, “I’m going live at this time.”

There may also be ways to sell tickets or do other things with it.

I think there could be a free OnlyFans in our future, or perhaps one that’s specifically K3yP4rty-related and focuses on behind-the-scenes content and things like that.

Maybe a little lewd, but more behind the scenes.

Asher: For us, the paid OnlyFans works really well because somebody can come in, pay, have a discussion with us and then we can sell them a contract.

That works really well for our business.

But I can see why free works better for someone who has a lot of graphic content.

If someone pays $20 for a subscription, they’re getting access to the entire feed.

With a free account, they can unlock individual clips.

If someone is very porn-heavy, they might make more money that way because people can join for free and then unlock three videos for $30 or $40 when they’re ready.

For us, it’s different because we’re having deep conversations about contracts and selling those contracts, so we can get larger amounts of money at once.

Gary: Right.

Because that’s always been the thing I didn’t understand about OnlyFans.

If you’re paying monthly, I can just pay for one month and see all your stuff.

Acadia: Exactly.

Gary: Unless you’re just subscribing to support the creator, what else is there?

Acadia: For us, in the future, the monthly subscription will probably be more focused on traveling, model shoots and hundreds of pictures of us modeling.

If we have a free account, I’ll make people pay per clip for the really spicy content.

I think there’s value in having both.

We also recently collaborated with our friend Nurse Stella. She’s very clip-heavy, and she inspired us to explore that side more.

We also talked with her about doing livestreams, and now she and her partner are doing a lot more live content.

We’re all pushing each other to figure out the best ways to do this and find the right audiences.

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Turning Slow Days Into Productive Days

Gary: Where the fuck do you guys find the time to do everything?

Acadia: We had to leave our tech jobs.

Asher: We had to basically say, “Okay, there’s no other option. This has to work.”

Acadia: Some days are much more productive than others.

Some days we make $2,000 or more. Some days we make $200.

That’s how it goes.

But the $200 days can be building days.

Those are the days when we create custom clips, post things, work on music, or sit around and say, “Wasn’t it funny when we talked to that person yesterday and they had this fantasy? What if we wrote a song about that?”

Then we go into the studio.

Sometimes we’ll even get a video call while we’re working on a song.

The freedom lets us be creative whether it’s a busy day or a slow day.

I don’t think we have off days.

Asher: No, we don’t take off days.

Acadia: And I don’t mean that in a braggadocious way.

It’s just that you never know when things are going to be up or down.

We’ve seen other creators have really rough months when major things happen.

For example, during the government shutdown, November was a rough money month for a lot of creators.

Asher: A lot of government employees spend money on adult entertainment.

Acadia: We also have a lot of military people who are into being dominated by a dommy mommy.

When they weren’t getting their paychecks, neither were we.

That’s why it’s difficult to turn off the phone or close the computer.

You just don’t know.

We never have a zero day.

There’s never a day where we make nothing.

Even if it’s a slow day, we’ll say, “Okay, let’s make content. Let’s work on music.”

Asher: We’re also getting better at prioritizing social content.

Next up is clips.

I’m going to keep saying it because I need to encourage myself to do it.

That content is exposure for both the music and us as creators.

It can lead to more sales.

If a clip goes viral, that’s exposure.

Everything ties together.

We just have to figure out what’s most important.

Obviously, money is at the top of the list.

Then we work backward.

How do we promote the money-making part?

How do we make the money?

Then we do all the other pieces that support that.

Even things like how we look are part of it.

The hair, the nails, all those different things play into the fantasy of K3yP4rty, Acadia and Asher Grey.

Acadia: A lot of the time it doesn’t feel like work.

That’s what makes this so fulfilling.

When we were working tech jobs in marketing, sustainability or whatever else, we hated it.

We put on a face every day. It felt fake to go to work and not be who we actually were.

Being able to leave that behind and fully pour ourselves into K3yP4rty, camming and building these audiences doesn’t really feel like work.

It’s just a slow day or a busy day.

It’s exciting.

And we laugh so much.

Asher: I’ve never laughed so much in my life.

Acadia: I’m probably going to live five years longer because I laugh my ass off every day looking at dicks.

We saw one today that was so horrific that both of us reacted at exactly the same time.

It wasn’t even really a dick.

It was basically a hole where the dick was supposed to be with some balls.

Asher: It was just balls.

Acadia: It makes you really appreciate what you have.

---

Asher’s Journey Into Dominance

Gary: You guys seem so relaxed with everything you’re doing.

Were you frantic when you first started?

Asher: We like to describe me as a sweet, vanilla boy.

I had never really pushed boundaries.

Even in college, I was always very respectful. I still am, but I was never trying to push myself into situations that made me uncomfortable.

When we really started diving into this, especially during COVID when we started camming a lot more, I had to get past that discomfort quickly.

I was camming solo, so I had to learn how to communicate with men who had fantasies involving a straight man.

It was different.

But I’ve found a lot of confidence and self-worth through being able to have these conversations.

I’m very comfortable now.

I can dominate a man without feeling weird about it.

It’s a power exchange. It’s a respect exchange.

At the end of the day, I feel good about it, they feel good about it, and then we shake hands and move on.

Gary: Are these gay guys who want to be dominated by you?

Acadia: No. A lot of them are married men.

Asher: I’d say about 95% of my clients are married men.

Gary: To women?

Acadia: Yes.

They want us to teach them how to dress, how to please us and how to follow our instructions.

The number of times someone suddenly says, “Oh fuck, my wife’s home,” and hangs up is hilarious.

There’s a large population of married men whose fantasy is having another man tell them exactly what to do.

Asher: I also have gay male submissives whose fantasy is having a straight man dominate them.

And I’d say “straight” is relative.

If Acadia had a penis, I still would have married her. She’s still a woman.

At the end of the day, I’m going to fall in love with the person.

I don’t have as much discomfort around it as I once did.

But when it came to hairy, burly men, I really had to work through that.

Acadia: In our space, when people enter subspace, especially during feminization, I sometimes forget who they were before they started talking to me.

I’ll switch completely into being their dominant.

I’ll say, “You’re my girl. You’re going to be my good girl. We’re going to dress you up.”

In my head, they’re no longer the person they were before the session.

I’ve even referred to them as “she” afterward when talking about them.

It’s wild.

And it’s also really cool because for some people, we’re part of their gender journey.

It’s deeper than simply, “I want you to tell me how to dress.”

I’ve had submissives where I’ve walked them through going to a store and getting fitted for a bra.

There’s an element of humiliation for some people, but there’s also fear.

They’re scared to do the thing themselves, and it feels safer because I’m telling them what to do.

I’ve had people describe me with words like “nurturing.”

So I guess I take “dommy mommy” to another level.

Even though I’m dominant, we hold ourselves to high expectations, so our submissives are expected to follow our rules too.

For some people who are trying to figure out how they feel inside and how to express that externally, we’re able to provide a safe space.

We have several transgender submissives who were figuring things out when they met us, and we’ve helped some of them move into a situation where they’re happier with themselves.

---

The Mental Side of Domination

Gary: This is fucking mind-blowing.

When I talk to people in this industry, it often seems like everything is sexual.

With you guys, it sounds like there’s so much more going on mentally, and the sexual aspect is almost a smaller piece.

Acadia: Exactly.

Everything with us is about power dynamics and emphasizing the exchange of power.

Sometimes that exchange is purely financial.

Sometimes it goes incredibly deep.

We build upon it over time.

You get to know these people, and you also learn a lot about yourself.

This kind of work requires a lot of self-awareness.

We quickly realized that a lot of people aren’t very self-aware in life in general.

When you’re in this heightened state of awareness of who you are, what you want and where you fit into the dynamic with your submissive, then you go back out into the world and realize that not everybody operates that way.

It can feel like you’re in a video game.

Asher: I’ve developed a lot of confidence through this.

I’m more confident than I’ve ever been and happier than I’ve ever been.

When I go into the real world outside of our work, I sometimes see people who would really benefit from understanding their own power dynamics.

People might have happier relationships if they figured out the dynamics within their relationship.

We’ve met couples where the husband is extremely bratty and the wife is tired of it.

Maybe what he actually needs is for her to take control.

His behavior might even be his way of signaling that he wants her to take control.

We see these things in people’s relationships because we see them every day.

Acadia: One of the most common things we hear, especially from married men, is that they’re afraid to talk to their wives about their fantasies.

I’ll ask, “Have you asked your wife?”

They’ll say, “I’m scared she’ll think it’s gross. I’m scared she’ll think I’m weird.”

And I’m like, “You’re taking her panties and her bra. What if you actually told her? What if she liked it?”

They’re always hyping up their wives too.

I’ve never had someone tell me, “My wife is ugly.”

They’re always saying, “My wife is so beautiful. She’s so hot.”

And I’m thinking, “Are you telling your wife these things?”

You’re telling me you’re married to this beautiful, wonderful person, but you’re afraid to tell her you want to wear her satin panties?

There are marriages that could potentially be improved if people were more open about their kinks and fetishes.

Gary: That’s the opposite of what you’d expect.

Acadia: Maybe your wife doesn’t want to hear you scream “mommy.”

That’s okay.

But being honest about it might allow you to find a compromise.

Maybe you go to fetish clubs or events and find someone who’s comfortable with that side of you.

Then you’re not necessarily hiding it or cheating.

You have to have those conversations, or you might end up miserable.

---

Hard Limits and Boundaries

Gary: I always ask people about the weirdest thing they’ve encountered, but honestly, at this point, who gives a fuck?

With you guys, I’m more interested in the mentality behind everything.

Acadia: There is an element of helping people.

I’ve been a cam girl before I fully committed to being a full-time dom, and it’s completely different.

There’s an element of helping people, almost like therapy.

We’ve even discussed whether one of us should go back to school and become a licensed counselor so we could potentially offer legitimate couples counseling.

There’s so much that comes back to helping people.

We try to create a safe space where they can feel comfortable talking about things within reason.

We do have hard limits.

Gary: What are your hard limits?

Acadia: Number one, I don’t do age play.

My voice sounds very young on the phone, so I get a lot of requests for that.

We don’t role-play age.

Everything has to be 18-plus.

Asher: The only exception is situations where an adult is engaging in something like age regression as part of their own adult dynamic, but we don’t role-play being children.

Acadia: Exactly.

And there are people who try to steer conversations toward that.

They don’t always come right out and say what they want.

They’ll start asking questions that gradually move in that direction.

Once you recognize the pattern, you know where it’s going.

That’s a hard no for us.

Gary: You get a lot of those requests?

Acadia: Unfortunately, yes.

It’s a controversial subject within the dom community, and there are different opinions about it.

For us, it’s a hard boundary.

The second hard limit is race play.

I get requests from people asking me to call them racial slurs or degrade them based on race.

That’s not in my nature.

I will never degrade someone based on the color of their skin or where they come from.

We don’t use racial slurs.

Outside of those very specific boundaries, we’re pretty open to discussing things and figuring out whether there’s a way to explore them safely and respectfully.

Gary: That seems reasonable.

Acadia: Those are our hard stops.

---

Why Boundaries Matter in Sex Work

Acadia: One of the biggest things we’ve learned is that it’s okay for you to have something you simply don’t fuck with.

That applies to everyone who cams, creates content or does sex work.

It’s okay to have your own limits.

There’s so much pressure to say yes because you want the money.

It can be easy to think, “I could make extra money if I just did this one thing.”

But having your own moral compass matters.

It’s okay if someone else is comfortable with something and you aren’t.

That doesn’t automatically make either person right or wrong.

For me, the question is whether anyone is being harmed.

If I’m not hurting myself or someone else isn’t being hurt, that’s where I draw the line.

But there are certain things that go beyond role-play, and when people start bringing real-world behavior into it, that’s where things get dicey.

You need to be able to recognize those situations.

Your intuition gets stronger too.

You learn to listen to the way somebody says something and notice things you wouldn’t have noticed before.

Eventually, you hear something and think, “Why did you phrase it that way?”

That’s how you recognize when something isn’t right.

---

The Psychology Behind Fetishes

Gary: It’s crazy how people’s brains work.

There are eight billion people in the world, and everyone’s brain is wired differently.

Do you think fetishes can come from something that happened when you were younger? It doesn’t necessarily have to be trauma.

Acadia: Absolutely.

For example, we have a submissive who’s really into feet and heels.

He told us that when he was a teenager, his aunt had sore feet and asked him to rub them.

She had red toenail polish.

He said he always admired feet after that.

It wasn’t sexual. It wasn’t traumatic. His aunt just had sore feet and he happened to rub them.

But now he’s a 45-year-old man who loves feet, heels and red-painted toes.

That’s his origin story.

Gary: It makes total sense.

Our brains are developing and all the wires are getting connected. Sometimes something just sticks.

And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.

Acadia: Exactly.

Human psychology is fascinating.

I’ve often thought that if we went back to school, we’d study the psychology behind what makes people tick.

Asher: But we’ve got music to make.

Acadia: And countries to tour.

Gary: I mean, you guys are basically psychologists.

Acadia: It definitely feels therapeutic sometimes.

It’s like peeling back layers of a person.

You ask one question, they answer, and then you ask another question based on what they just said.

You keep going until you get deeper into what’s actually happening in their head.

For example, someone might say, “Did you masturbate?”

They answer yes or no.

Then you ask, “Did you get permission?”

They might say, “No, I didn’t get permission. I’m sorry, Goddess.”

Then you ask, “Why are you sorry?”

They might say, “Because I didn’t listen to you.”

Then you ask, “Why didn’t you listen to me?”

You’re slowly breaking down the walls and barriers in their mind.

That’s how you get inside their head.

Asher: It’s also why we enforce boundaries.

If somebody comes in and uses a racial slur, she’ll immediately say, “No. That’s disrespectful.”

They’ll apologize.

She’ll explain why it’s not acceptable and why they shouldn’t do it again.

By the end of the conversation, they’re often saying, “I didn’t know.”

And the next time they’re tempted to say it, they may remember her voice telling them not to.

Gary: That’s fucking wild.

---

Should Cam Girls Pay for Courses?

Gary: I don’t want to take any more of your time, but I have two questions.

In a few weeks, I’m having someone on who’s charging people to learn how to become cam girls.

I have my own opinions. I fucking hate that.

What do you guys think about people charging for courses?

Acadia: I think it’s fair to teach people.

You’ve done some courses yourself, but mostly for networking.

Gary: Yeah. I’ve paid for things before, but only when there was actually value there.

Acadia: If someone wants to pay for information, that’s their choice.

But if you’re an up-and-coming cam girl, I wouldn’t recommend paying a huge amount of money to someone just because they’re popular.

My recommendation would be to find a cam girl or creator you admire.

Not somebody with hundreds of thousands or millions of followers because they’re probably not going to respond to you.

Find a micro-influencer, someone with under 10,000 followers, especially someone in your niche.

Reach out and see if they’ll give you some tips.

One thing I wish I’d understood earlier is that I don’t appeal to the same audience as a stereotypical huge-boobed blonde MILF.

Their fans aren’t necessarily my fans.

So if I paid for a course from someone whose audience is completely different from mine, that information might not work for me.

If you’re into domination, find successful dominants.

If you’re alternative-looking, find alternative creators.

We still do this ourselves.

We’ll go onto Chaturbate and click through rooms for research.

We’ll ask:

“Why did I click on this person?”

“How are they talking to people?”

“What does their tip menu look like?”

“What are their links like?”

“How are they interacting with their audience?”

There’s a huge amount of information out there.

But the biggest thing I would tell someone is to figure out their niche.

And I mean deeper than just appearance.

Don’t just say, “I’m blonde with blue eyes.”

Unless your physical identity is a very strong part of your niche, break it down further.

What makes you different?

What specific fantasy or experience are you offering?

The adult industry is enormous, so you can narrow it down.

Find the specific thing that makes people think, “That’s my girl.”

Gary: Dial it in.

Acadia: Exactly.

That’s what we did with K3yP4rty.

It’s completely dialed in.

I used to try to appeal to the masses because I’m ethnically ambiguous. I’d think, “I can be whatever you want. What do you like?”

Eventually I realized I am Middle Eastern, and there is an audience that cares about that.

But ultimately, my brand is so heavily focused on domination that the dominant aesthetic is more important to the fantasy.

The dark hair, dark eyes and strong features all fit the classic dom fantasy.

The girls who are really successful are often the world-builders.

They create an entire world.

You look at their streaming setup, their social media, their content, their photos and everything else, and it all feels cohesive.

It’s not just a girl sitting in a room because there are a thousand girls sitting in rooms.

It’s a whole experience.

That knowledge is worth more than a generic course.

Find your niche.

Figure out who you are.

Figure out what your room looks like.

Figure out what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not comfortable with.

You’re better off spending your money on yourself.

Buy good equipment.

Get a good camera.

Get good lighting.

Build your presence on the platforms.

Then spend money traveling to events like XBIZ, Exotica and AVN so you can network and meet people in person.

Show people that you’re serious.

That’s where you’ll get advice.

You don’t necessarily need to spend $200 on a course that may or may not apply to you.

Pour that money into yourself.

Asher: And if you do buy a course, make sure it actually fits your niche.

Don’t buy it just because the person is popular on Instagram.

Acadia: Also, people make up their numbers.

Everyone makes up their numbers.

They say whatever they need to say to sound exciting on social media.

The only number I believe is the number on my taxes.

Even with myself, I can say one thing and have everything tracked out, but when I’m filing my taxes, that’s the actual number.

I wouldn’t automatically trust someone just because they’re claiming to make a certain amount.

That said, there are some really successful creators who will tell you their secrets for money.

They don’t necessarily sell a course.

They’ll just say, “Send me this money and I’ll tell you how I became successful on this website.”

Those people often actually know what they’re talking about.

Gary: That’s what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about the people where you look at their following and their OnlyFans and everything else, and they basically have nothing, but they’re selling courses.

Acadia: Yes.

That’s the problem.

But there’s another side to it too.

Some successful creators gatekeep.

They say, “I’m not going to tell you how I do it because you’re competition.”

Then newer creators go looking for the information elsewhere and end up paying someone for a course.

There are so many people in this industry. It’s not really competition.

I’ve seen TikToks where creators say, “I’m not going to tell you how much I made because I don’t want to encourage young girls to think this is easy.”

And I’m like, “But what if you actually showed them what it takes?”

Tell them the truth.

This can work, but it is a business.

It isn’t easy.

It takes consistency.

It takes time.

It takes investment.

There are so many pieces to the puzzle.

That’s why I wasn’t successful in the way I am now when I started.

I didn’t have those pieces lined up.

I didn’t have the consistency.

I wasn’t dedicating the time.

I wasn’t focusing enough on the quality of the product I was putting out.

So obviously I wasn’t making insane amounts of money.

Instead of gatekeeping, tell people the truth.

This shit is going to be hard.

Don’t quit your day job.

Keep your day job while you build this.

Only quit when you’re consistently making as much as your day job.

In our case, we were making double our combined corporate income.

That’s when we knew we could leave.

Gary: Don’t put off your first semester of college just because you think you’re going to become a cam girl.

Acadia: Exactly.

Keep doing what you’re doing and build the business alongside it.

If you end up making hundreds of thousands of dollars after your first year, then maybe you have a decision to make.

But if you have goals and aspirations in business, learn business.

Learn sales.

Learn marketing.

Learn how to communicate with people.

Those skills will take you much further.

Gary: Because sex work is work.

Acadia: It is work.

---

Building a Foundation Before Moving to Bigger Platforms

Acadia: We had to build our Chaturbate profile and audience first.

You need an audience before some of the higher-end sites will even accept you.

For example, you can’t just automatically get onto Sex Panther.

You have to prove that you have a following either on the sex side or the creator side.

The only reason we got our initial Sex Panther profile was because we’d built up Chaturbate.

Now if you go on Reddit and look at communities like Cam Girl Problems, you’ll see girls saying, “I’m just building my audience so I can apply again.”

Sex Panther has been one of our most lucrative platforms.

We’re incredibly fortunate to be there, especially considering how many creators get rejected.

But it took time.

You have to build the foundation.

It sucks doing the work and waiting to move to the next level, but that’s part of it.

There are creators who take a more passive approach using OnlyFans, clip sites or Reddit.

They might go viral on social media and suddenly everything takes off.

That happens, but it’s much rarer than building a foundation.

We built ours through camming and then added more and more pieces until we had what we jokingly call our “dom fortress.”

Gary: A fortress.

I like that.

To me, the number-one thing you’ve been talking about throughout this whole conversation is community.

Would you agree?

Acadia: Absolutely.

We’re always trying to find new ways to deepen that sense of community.

Obviously, the music and sex-work sides are separate, but there is some overlap because people discover different pieces of what we do.

We’re looking at things like group chats, Telegram, Instagram channels and other ways to build that community while making sure everyone is safe.

Respect is a huge part of it.

Acadia: Our fan base will actually come to protect us if somebody else gets out of line.

Asher: Yeah.

Gary: That’s fucking awesome.

When I was doing YouTube, the community would do the same thing.

If someone talked shit about me, the fans would fucking pounce on them.

It was crazy to watch.

---

You Don’t Need a Million Followers

Gary: To me, everything you’ve talked about comes back to community.

Acadia: It doesn’t have to be a million people.

It can be a core group.

That core group was enough to allow us to leave our corporate jobs.

You don’t need a million followers.

You need a dedicated community.

Gary: Exactly.

I’ve taken so much of your time, especially because I usually record Fridays and Saturdays, which I always assumed were the hottest times for camming.

Acadia: Actually, Friday is usually dead for us.

Gary: Wait. Friday is dead?

Acadia: Dead.

If I were going to take an off day, it would probably be Friday.

Everyone gets off work and goes out Friday night. They go out and shoot their shot in the world.

Then they come home defeated and spend their money on Saturday.

Asher: They’ll be sad on Saturday.

Acadia: Sundays are interesting too.

Sunday morning through early afternoon, which is normally dead for us during the week, can be surprisingly good.

The kids are at soccer practice and Dad is home alone.

Or the rest of the family goes to church and Dad stays home.

Gary: That’s some insider information right there.

Sunday mornings.

Acadia: Late morning into early afternoon.

That’s the little window.

Gary: Jesus Christ.

---

K3yP4rty and the Future

Gary: Guys, thank you so much for doing this.

You’ve been amazing.

I’m going to put all your links in the description. Everyone needs to check you guys out.

I fucking love your music.

And again, I can’t believe how tight your music videos are.

That’s your background, right?

Did you guys direct them?

Acadia: We came up with the concepts, yes.

But in terms of directing and everything else, shout-out to Jakey in Chattanooga.

He’s a phenomenal director, videographer and editor.

He does all of it.

We have the big ideas, and he helps us bring them down to earth.

A lot of it is also on the fly.

He’ll say, “Oh, do this,” or we’ll say, “What if we did this?”

We have a lot of fun doing it.

He’s basically our dedicated music-video guy, and he’s willing to let us be insane.

Asher: There were a lot of people we talked to when K3yP4rty was just a concept who thought it was an amazing idea but were scared of the perception.

Because we knew the project was going to be tied directly to sex work, we knew we had to be brave enough to say, “There’s no hiding what we do anymore.”

This is what it is.

We’re completely out there.

Everyone can know what we do, see it and find it.

Acadia: We want people to be scared but also horny.

That’s our brand.

Gary: Scary horny?

Acadia: Scary horny.

Horror.

Everything kind of ends in a horror direction. You don’t know where it’s going.

We also try to incorporate different fetishes and be inclusive.

We write from what we know.

Gary: It’s so fucking good.

Can I use a little snippet of your music as an intro for the podcast?

Acadia: Absolutely.

Gary: Are there other bands doing this in the adult industry?

Acadia: There are a couple of artists I know about.

There’s a country singer who’s also a big porn performer, although I can’t remember her name right now.

And there’s Pinky.

Asher: P-I-N-K-I-I, I think.

Acadia: She’s a professional dom too.

Her music is very specific to the work. I think she recently released or is releasing a song called “S Tax.”

Her whole brand is “simp-funded pop star.”

Her aesthetic is completely different from ours.

She’s pink, bubblegum-colored, kawaii and very different from K3yP4rty.

She’s also very good, and I definitely recommend checking her out.

Asher: There aren’t many artists doing this.

Acadia: It’s not really a thing yet.

So it’s cool to be on the forefront of it.

And it’s cool to actually be doing it because there are a lot of people who appropriate adult entertainment culture.

They’ll wear latex, whips and chains, make an album about sex work and never actually do it.

They don’t acknowledge the people who actually work in the industry.

Asher: At least we can verify that we’re actually professional dominants and actually making music.

Acadia: And Pinky too.

Go see them in concert.

Send them your money.

Send us your money.

Gary: I fucking recommend K3yP4rty.

It’s tight as fuck.

Before I do anything, I listen to music to hype myself up. Usually it’s ’90s rap, Tupac, Biggie, Eminem and all that shit.

But I’m adding your music to my playlist.

It gets you fucking hyped.

Acadia: Please do.

We have a ton of music coming.

We’re planning on releasing a whole album, probably by the end of the year.

We only have a few tracks out right now, but we’ll have at least 10 to 12 tracks by the end of the year.

You can rage to that.

Gary: Hell yeah.

That’s what I’m talking about.

Links are in the description. Everyone go check them out.

Asher and Acadia Grey of K3yP4rty, thank you so much for doing this.

Acadia: Thank you.

Asher: Thank you. It’s been great.

Gary: Absolutely. I had so much fun.

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See you fly honeys on the next video.