Platinum Puzzy: 20+ Years in the Adult Industry, Cam Girl Branding & Online Safety | Cam Girl Diaries Podcast #67

Cam Girl Diaries Podcast – Episode #67
Gary Gabagool with Platinum Puzzy

Website-Ready Transcript
Edited for readability from the supplied raw transcript. Timestamps and production cues have been removed, obvious transcription artifacts have been cleaned up, and the source’s censored profanity has been retained as [expletive].

or you want to rebrand yourself, come up with a name that is so clever and is such an attention grabber that it almost doesn’t even matter what you look like because the name in itself is a gametopper. What did you say about Thundercats? I love Thundercats. So, I’m from Gen X and I’m a huge Thundercats fan. And so when I say CE ho of iartbw.com, I am saying it like thunder thunder thunder cats. Ho yeah, I love me some Liono. Come on, man. Yes. And Pantra. Oh my gosh. Who

Who was your favorite? Pantra. I love that like dominant aggressive feminine energy and I felt like that’s what Pantra brought to the show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, see, I might be a little [expletive] cuz I love snarf. Well, I was a kid, so maybe that’s why. But I love snarf. It’s like snarf. Snarf. Yeah. Yeah. Hi. Hello. How are you? I’m good. How are you? Fantastic. Couldn’t be better. So Carrie Platinum [expletive] Anthony from I no from uh iheartbw.com. Yes. Right. So I have to ask because

you’ve been in the game for 20 years. Right. I have 21 this year. I celebrate 21 years. Two decades plus. I got to do math then. That’s what like 2004. Yeah. the around the the end of 2004 going into 2005. So before the internet was really the internet. It was still old school forums and message boards and analog and AOL. Like I started off of those discs where it said 30 days free and you had to like plug it into your phone and you logged on and it went connecting, you know, like the whole you

had to wait. You had to wait. You had dialup. I had dialup. I mean that’s before broadband even was existed. Holy [expletive] So you when you started you started during the dialup era. During the dialup era. In fact, I’ll take you back so far. I had Bell South dialup connection and when broadband came out, I was one of the first people in my city in my neighborhood to get the broadband. And it wasn’t called broadband, it was called maybe it was called broadband, but um I want to say it was called

something else like but anyways, it doesn’t matter. It was when dialupgraded. I was one of the very first people because I had to my my job and my income depended on it. So, so wait a minute. So, what So, during the dialup era, what were you doing? So, to give you a little bit of context, um I worked at a bill collector’s office. I had been there for several years. I was really, really good at my job. Um almost too good. And you know, anybody that’s worked in corporate environment understands competitive

uh co-workers and people feeling threatened when you’re really good at what you do. And they always take it personal. And for me, it was never personal. It’s it was personal for me in in the sense that like I just wanted to be the best at what I was good at, right? And I wanted to be good at my job because I felt like that’s how you grow in a company. You want to be the best that you can be. Unfortunately for people who are accustomed to being paid to do half-ass work and are okay with

going up the the lane the the chain of command and getting better jobs but not doing better jobs. It’s very threatening to them when a person like myself who’s highly ambitious and takes wants to take

pride in my work. They see me as a threat and it’s like I’m not even looking at your job. I could care less about your job. I just want to make sure I’m doing my job really good so that I can continue to have a job. I understand that, you know, job security is not guaranteed. So, early on, I realized that, you know,

maybe the workforce wasn’t for me. Um, I ended up getting into a situation where my health was really really um on the line and a lot of it had to do with my workplace. Later I would find that out. But during the time I had a serious health scare and in fact I was at work when I passed out and the HR who I had friends that I worked with that were like hey let me take her to the emergency room and I’ll I’ll stay with her till her family gets there. They refused. They were like nope you got to

stay on the phones. HR took me to the hospital dropped me off in the ER while I’m unconscious mind you and left me in a wheelchair. So, I knew in that moment it was, you know, the final countdown. I didn’t want to work for a company that literally left me at the hospital to potentially die. Luckily for me, um, I didn’t. But, it was a scary time and it just really helped me realize that this place didn’t give a [expletive] about me. So, in the midst of all of this health stuff, the the doctor says you have I

ended up going through an emergency surgery and I had to take six to 6 to 8 weeks off unpaid. And when you are working paycheck to paycheck and your bills can’t be put on hold for 6 to 8 weeks and you can’t just stop and pick up in 6 to 8 weeks and go, “Okay, well, now I can pay my rent. Now I can pay my electric bill.” I had to do something. And so I felt like since I had all this downtime, even though I couldn’t do anything physically, I’m like, there’s got to be something. So I go online, I’m

perusing the internet and I see these work from home phone jobs and I’m like, oh, I can do that. That’s easy, right? So boop, boop, boop. I’m applying for all these jobs, and this lady hits me back immediately, and I’m like, “Oh, yes. Yes, we’re work. We got something here.” She calls me. Now, mind you, the entire conversation is about phone etiquette, hours, how to log in, yada yada yada. At no point does she tell me it’s phone sex, but at the end of the call, she finally admits to me, “Well, I

see that you’re interested, but here’s the kicker. It’s a phone sex job.” By this time, I’m like, “Fuck it. I got it. It’s mine.” And to, you know, also add, I had been dating a lot of military men. I had a little infatuation for men in uniform. And so I was already doing phone sex for free anyways with these boneheads that would call me from around the world and I would be like, “Oh, this is fun.” So finally I found something that I’m good at and something that’s

going to pay me while I’m at home with the intention that I’m going to go back to my job eventually. But let’s see how this works. Um, to make a long story short and keep it, you know, fun and entertaining, I was really good at my job. However, they don’t tell you that your your picture on the internet is not you, which it never occurred to me who it was. I just assumed it was me, but I never sent them pictures. Yeah, I never sent them pictures. Well, I get a phone call and this guy says, “Ooh, tell me

what you look like.” And I’m like, “Well, I’m about 240 lb, um, 56.” And he’s like, “Click.” And instantly I’m like, “Oh [expletive] did I say something wrong?” Like, “What the hell?” So, I call the lady that’s managing me and I’m like, “Houston, we have a problem.” And she’s like, “What?” And so, I explain to her what happened and she says, “Oh, yeah. It’s it’s a just random pictures that we get from, you

know, kind of like stock photos before stock photos were stock photos.” And I’m like, “Um, that’s not going to work. I’m not a good liar. That’s not going to work for me. I’m not going to be able to be sexy and in the moment and think of what my pretend character looks like.” So, Platinum [expletive] was born because somebody had to come in and take some hot, sexy photos for the internet. And once I realized that there was a niche and a desire for plus-sized women and

that there were men out there that were seeking women that look like me, um, Platinum [expletive] became uh, infamous. So, um, phone sex turned into doing pictures turned into doing movies. Um, I was more of a home movie amateur person. The the big productions don’t really work for me because I’m just not a good actress on film and I don’t like someone telling me what to do intimately. I don’t care. I don’t know if I would do good on a regular actress set either. But nonetheless, um, so I

perused through the adult entertainment sector for a few years and made a name for myself and then I decided that it wasn’t for me and I’d rather help other people build their brands and gain the tools, the knowledge, the resources, and the skills that they need to be entrepreneurs in a very sensitive intimate environment. I.e. iheartbw.com and I am now the CEO. [Laughter] All right. So that makes sense. You really are the OG of BBW board. I am I am one of the original one of the original. Now, a lot of people don’t

really consider me like part of the OG scene in the sense that I never went on to do like a 100 DVDs, but that was by choice, not by, you know what I mean? Like I I chose not to do the the DVD scene. I chose not to work in an environment that I didn’t feel was complimentary to who I really am. And so while other people can say what they feel like the the definition of what a porn star is or what the definition of an OG porn star is, um I’ve done the work. I’ve put in the hours. I’ve perused through environments

where I very much earned my title. So fight me if you want to. Right. That’s how I feel about it. Like you know my my my history precedes itself. So it’s like eh you could say what you want to say. I also came from a different era you know now you book a scene by going to Twitter or you know just happen to be on someone’s only fans and back then you had to actually like know people. They had to know who you were. It wasn’t people didn’t know who you were unless someone told them because the likeliness

that they would find you was either you had to find them or they had to somehow find you. It wasn’t

let’s go to Twitter and oh this is a really nice looking new new model let me hit her up. It didn’t work that way. So, you had to either know someone in the industry and they would say, “Hey, I’ve got this new model. You should shoot with her.” Which is how I started and or you know, you had to seek out these companies and say, “Hey, I would really like to shoot with

your company.” And um you know, it was a much different environment back then. A lot less cutthroat. I’ll say that. Right. But yeah, like because back then, I mean, there’s always been, you know, the different categories of porn and everything, but as far as like the internet and everything like because I I I’m interested in like the history of everything and especially like the online stuff. I remember back in like that era of like 200, I don’t know, two, five, whatever it is, there was like all

those do you remember like the lighteed girls? Yes. like the college girls, like all of that stuff, like the teens and that kind of [expletive] I don’t remember like was there like internet I guess there was internet wise like the you know BBW and like different like mature and you know different categories. No, we were we existed but we existed in the crevices and underneath rocks and we were part of like almost like a secret society per se because at that time you also have to think about the social

climate in terms of people were not outright saying I’m gay. I’m not outright saying that I like trans or I’m not a lot of you know people weren’t out there saying that I like fat girls. Like that just wasn’t the climate back then. Back then, everybody was closeted. Even just in kink world, no one was out there being like, “Yeah, I’m a dominatrix.” Or, “Yeah, I like to get my butt beat.” Like, it just was a much different environment. So to understand the

internet, you have to understand the social climate and realizing that this is before the big awakening happening happened where people started becoming more size accepting and body positive and you know before um trans was even a big thing and it was acceptable and had its own you know category and things of that nature. I think um although currently I feel like a lot of things have gotten out of control um the fact that we do have a plus-sized community within the adult entertainment industry

and the world not just you know forget the adult entertainment industry that’s a small portion in comparison to being in a world where more people are saying you know yes I am plus-size I am 200 plus pounds but that doesn’t mean I can’t be beautiful that doesn’t mean that I can’t be successful, that doesn’t mean that I can’t be confident. And you know, the same thing with maturity. It’s and that’s where I’m at. I’m 50 years old and I’m plus-siz. So, you know, I I

feel like it’s a great time to really advocate for groups of people that have often been overlooked or ignored for one reason or another because there’s a large group of others out there that just can’t accept that. You know, just because I’m plus-siz doesn’t mean I’m unhealthy. It doesn’t I’m not contagious. I’m not giving, you know, I wish that I could give pounds away every time I went out. You

know what I’m saying? I’d be like, 20 pounds, right? Oh, you’re a real hater. I’m

giving you 50 pounds. Like, if that was going to be if I could be a hero, a superhero, that’s what I would do. I would make fat phobic people fat. I would be like, “Oh, 150 lbs for you, bro.” Like that would be my superpower is just to be like ching 10 pounds for you. Only 10 because you seem like you might you might be changeable, but you know what I mean? Like but I would want to be able to do that for more than just like weight. I would want to do it for like racism and aism and transphobic people and all the

all the phobes out there. I would just want to be in one of those situations where it’s like, “Oh, you’re a Karena bad.” You know what I mean? Right. Right. In fact, I’m um working with my videographer. We’re working on a short film that that I have. I’m I’m trying to come up with the design for my superhero costume, but we’re going to go out in public and I’m going to literally be doing things that they don’t know what I’m doing, but that’s what I’m doing is

like, “Oh, you look like a Karen or you’re in the middle of a Karen episode.” And I’m going to be like, “Ching, you know, sound effects and all that stuff.” And then it’s like turn them into a non-ACaren person. So, right. Yeah, that sounds fun, right? I want to be like Santa Claus, though, where I could just be all over the world at one time. There’s just so many hater people out there, man. I don’t know. You’re You’re trying to change the world. That That’s Come

on. That’s That’s tough. That’s impossible. Isn’t what Isn’t that what we all want, though? Don’t we all want to live in a better world where you can simply exist and it not be a reason for confrontation to just for one I think we live in a country that has political like identity politics. What? Since when does who people marry or who they’re having intimate relations with or raising children like it just it’s like why are we governing things that are not meant like no one’s

committing a crime? You know what I mean? Like who gets from that? Yeah. Nobody. Nobody. Who like Right. Yeah. I I don’t I don’t understand it. I never have. I never will. But I used to get all psychotic with that [expletive] too. Like I’d see [expletive] on the news, I’d be like, “Mother, like, god damn it. That [expletive] pisses me off. I want to [expletive] do something.” But at some point, I just it’s like there’s just so many like, you know, stupid people out there and people that just like they you

can’t change people’s minds anymore. There’s no changing people’s minds, especially with social media and everything because they have other people that, you know, think the same way. And so they have those, you know what I mean? Like they have there’s other idiots out there that cosign the the dumb this this the stupidity. And for me, I understand where you’re coming from. But I feel like if we don’t fight and we let them win, then you know, is that the existence that or the legacy

that you want to leave for your your family or if you don’t have kids or if you’re not trying to have kids, like do you want to leave that legacy for the for the future? It’s like I’d rather I mean I’m not fighting like when it comes to social media. I’m not the online fighter because I feel like I’m just screaming into the void. And aside from that, my social media is only for business purposes. And my platinum [expletive] persona has nothing to do with politics except for when I run for president. And

that’s because I have a site called pussyforpresident.com. But that’s a whole another story. I’m still looking that up. And it’s I don’t even know if I still have it. I I gave it up when, you know, somebody won twice. And wait a minute, I don’t know if I’m not gonna show you, but um yeah, I just And I don’t talk about politics. I don’t like to get into it because everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but for me, I just feel like we are living in times where our human rights are under attack

and our basic human rights are are constantly being trampled on. And while we’re fighting each other for simple things like standing in line at the grocery store and feeling the need to express our opinion about, you know, racial issues or calling me fat, I’m like, “Dude, we have bigger problems out there. My weight should not be any of your business.” And I have a shirt that says I get paid by the pound. And that’s my motto. Like, you can talk [expletive] all day. I’m cool with

what I what I look like and how much I weigh, but I get paid by the pound, baby. What do you get paid for? I’ll wait. [Laughter] Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Cuz I I’m oblivious to everything. I I don’t [expletive] pay attention to a lot of things. But like what you just said, like it that happens to you. Oh, absolutely. Like Yeah. But the problem now is that people get offended by so many things that I don’t even know what they’re offended by when they start acting shitty to me. I just always

assume because I’ve been fat my whole life. I just always assume that’s why. But it could be a number of things. Like I my pure existence in this world is offensive to a lot of people. So now I have to kind of go through the rolodex of what could this person like unless they specify and people are like secret haters now. They don’t say what it is outright. Some do. And when I’ve had people that are like that bold, it’s usually, “Ooh, how could how could you be so confident and be that size?” And

it’s like, “Ooh, how could you be, oh, you’re ugly and you’re judgmental?” Like, that kind of goes hand in hand. I could see why you’d be. Yeah, I get it. I get it. And I’m like, what what gave you the conf like how could you be so confident to even let that come out your mouth? Like you don’t know and and beyond that, you just don’t know where people are in their mental health journey. So while I try to lead by, you know, the whole I’m not trying to get

myself in any trouble or any altercations. I mean, you just never know. Like you could say that to somebody and lose your life behind that. Was it worth it? You know, it’s like, come on. I’m not saying I’m I’m dangerous. I’m just saying like the world out there. You just never People go on rages just from

driving. People have lost their lives from road rage. Why would you put yourself in a situation? What are you going to gain from that conversation or that confrontation? I mean, seriously, it’s

like you really need to think about the world that you live in for you to feel comfortable for. It’s like me going to someone and saying, you know, I I don’t even know because I don’t think like that. I think I’m just happy to be alive. I’m happy. I’m happy I made it another day. And that’s, you know, my gratitude, right? I I just don’t I I I can’t understand that mentality, though. Like, why? Like, why? Like, what what’s the big deal that someone needs to say something like that to you? Who

are you? I Who are you to judge? I’m sure if I went and looked at your social media, this is why I love Tik Tok. If you go on Tik Tok and somebody I love Tik Tok. I love Tik Tok. You know why? Tik Tok will find you. They will find the Karens of the internet, the the keyboard warriors that get behind a comment and they say something and they’ll be like, “Let’s find, you know, Jane Doe 1234 who said this.” and then they go and they find their LinkedIn where they work their Facebook and they

literally set out to destroy them and it’s like although I feel that’s extreme it’s very extreme but we live in cancel culture so you got to know you know pick your battles is basically where that comes from so if you put yourself in a position to make a comment and you know it’s going to cause problems then you shouldn’t be surprised when the outcome is that they came for you because you asked you ask them to, you know, it’s like one of those things when you call 911, someone’s

going to answer. Someone someone is on the line waiting for you to call. So, you know, that’s the times that we live in. So, I love Tik Tok because while there’s a lot of shenanigans and things on there that I’m just like, h, there are times where justice is served and people are learning important lessons about just because you think it doesn’t mean you should say it or type it. And you should also be mindful of like what do you benefit? There are lots of things I would love to say to people, but if I

feel like it’s something that’s going to be hurtful or it’s something that’s going to cause more problems than we already have and it’s not really like something that I’m going to stand on business about, then I just delete it and keep it pushing. Like what what am I hoping to accomplish with this comment? You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. the See, that’s why I I I can’t comprehend any of this because like the only like the only people I [expletive] feel like I need to say

something to or want to say something to are [expletive] You know what I mean? Like a lot of them out there. Yeah, that’s that’s what I mean. Like other than that, like someone that I’m, you know, that I’m not attracted to, I need to say something to that. Like there’s But how do you know? How do you know you’re not attracted to that person just because their phys their physical presentation may not be what you you’ve normally liked? That person internally could be more than what you like. You know what I

mean? You don’t know. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. But like the book by its cover. Oh, 100%. But on the physical sense, like I’ve never had the urge to like [expletive] tell like it I I just don’t But you don’t know. You might meet somebody. Let me tell you why I say this and I’m gonna It goes back to my name. One of the mo like Platinum [expletive] was a double-edged sword or is a double-edged sword. It’s a double-edged sword because when I came up with it, which was genius marketing, it was

just marketing genius. Okay, it’s a name that stands out. What I really love about the way that I did my name is that at that time everybody was putting BBW with their name because they wanted, you know, BBW fans to seek them out. And I thought about it and I said, “Nah, I don’t want to do that.” And I’m glad that I didn’t. And here’s why. By not putting BBW by my name, when you see that and you say, “Oh my gosh, who is this platinum [expletive] Like, she got to be a banger.” Then you come to me

and you’re like, well, I don’t know. There were people that were like, “I’m not into BBWs, but I really like what you represent. I really like, you know, the kind of work that you put out, or I really like,” Many, many fans have come and said that to me, like, I’m not typically a big girl lover, but because your personality is so inviting, or your personality is this, or something about you attracted me, then it was the I looked past the physical part. And it wasn’t about me liking you because

you’re a BBW. It was me liking you because I like you. And so that was the genius behind my name. The ingenious or the the lack of gen of intelligence behind my name is that when social media would come out um my name is offensive everywhere. So platinum Buzzy is not allowed to exist in most of in most uh safer work spaces. So but who who knew that social media was coming at the at the beginning of my career? And to tell you a little bit about how I got my name because it is a common question. Before I got into

the adult industry, I had a bunch of friends that were men and um a lot of men have this conversation. If you were ever to be a porn star, what would be your porn star name? And of course the comment of like you take your first dog’s name or your first animal and your the street that you lived on. Yeah. Yeah. You you and that would be your name. And I was like that’s corny. That’s not a name. That’s that’s you know like that’s like the Chinese the thing that you used to do the what do they

call that the Chinese dice or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I am you know um bunny what was the street that I lived on or Ontario. Bunny Ontario. That doesn’t sound good. So I was like no y’all got to be more creative. That’s a copout. So I basically in this conversation was challenging everyone to come up with something better, something that more was more representative of their personality. So as we’re having this conversation, I’m joking with this one friend of mine and he he always has

great like ideas for commercials and we used to make jingles together and like he’s a hoot, right? So I’m

like, “Dude, what would my porn name be if I was in porn?” Now mind you, I’ve never watched porn at this point. I’ve never ever thought that I would ever be in porn. So, this conversation is really funny now looking back, but at the time it’s just a conversation. Like, we’re just joking about it. About how old were you at this point? I’m like 21. I didn’t get

into porn till I was 30. Okay. So, I’m like 21, 22. You know, these are these are conversations you have drinking, right? Mhm. And I’m like, what would my name be? I can’t think of anything for myself cuz, you know, I’m just like, I don’t know. never thought about it. And he’s like, platinum puzzy. And I’m like, what? What does that mean? He’s like, that means you have the best coochie ever. And I’m like, oh yeah, that’s a good one. And it’s got the double P’s. Oh yeah, I like

that. So one day I’m on AOL chat rooms. Again, porn isn’t even on my mind. It’s not in my per my peripheral purview, nothing. I’m on AOL chat rooms and I was in this one chat room where the girl there was a couple of girls that were real popular. For what? I don’t know. But I didn’t care. That’s not why I was in there. I just enjoyed chatting with people from all over the world. So, I go in there and these girls were getting mad because um there was a guy in there that was

showing interest towards me and they were like, “Oh, she’s fat. Why do you like her?” And he’s like, “Oh, she’s just really cool. She always comes in here. She’s nice to everyone. She’s funny. She talks about [expletive] more than, you know, typical girl stuff because I’m a tomboy. So that’s been a typical reason why I have more male friends than female because girls always see that as I’m trying to like butter up to the boys and I’m like, “No, I just really I

really like cars. I really like other things that are more less girly and more masculine.” But anyways, I digress. We’re in the chat room. guy is like in the public chat telling me, you know, everybody how he’s thinks I’m attractive and you know, of course the girls are like why, you know, just it just becomes very volatile. So I’m like I leave and I’m like I had made a screen name that had platinum [expletive] in it. I said I’m going to come back as platinum [expletive] Nobody knows it’s me. So I get to be

incognito. So I leave and I come back as this platinum [expletive] person. And the pictures that I have are a little bit more provocative than the ones on my regular profile, but you can’t see my face, so you wouldn’t know that it was me. Let me tell you, when I stopped the the chat completely and all the guys were like, “Who is this?” And I was just being totally like I took the conversation from whatever they were talking about to we need to know who this platinum girl is. And I stole the attention of all the

guys when I had to come up with my name for the industry. I was like, “That’s the name.” Because it stopped the entire chat and the dudes went crazy. They didn’t care who I was. I could have been a million pounds. The name made them so like squirrel that whatever the fight was before didn’t even exist anymore. And when I saw how powerful that was, I was like, “Yeah, that’s the name.” So that’s how

Platinum [expletive] came about. That’s [expletive] Oh my god. Yeah, that’s

[expletive] brilliant, man. Yeah, that’s like just a perfect [expletive] name. It’s like, you know, it’s dirty, but it’s, you know, it’s like [expletive] Well, I did it with Z, you know? Yeah. [expletive] I did it with Z. And a lot of people have speculated and to be honest with you, it was during the time that search engines were coming out and I knew that if you put in the two S’s, you were going to find everything but me. So I was like, I have to find a way to make myself different and stand out. So I added the

Z’s. And this is during the time where Snoop Dogg was like push, you know, like. So I was like, yeah, we’re going to take those those S’s out and replace them with Z’s. And then um one of my friends came up with this tagline that says the [expletive] so good it puts you to sleep. that’s why you got Z’s in your name. And I’m like, “Oh, yes. Genius.” So, yeah. Yeah. I [expletive] love that, man. So, let me tell you what this what this So, for people that are watching, if you

are in the business, whether you’re a cam girl or you got your OF page or whatever it is that you have, the point of this conversation is if you are branding yourself or getting started or you want to rebrand yourself, come up with a name that is so clever and is such an attention grabber that it almost doesn’t even matter what you look like because the name in itself is a gametopper. It’s such an intricate part of your brand and people don’t realize that when they’re coming up with their names and

it’s like, you know, um I saw someone that was talking about um their name has something to do with Lindsay Lohan, but it’s like something hand like hand and that’s their brand is like they’re like big on HJ’s and are we allowed to say the word hand jobs? What? Yeah, hand jobs. Okay. I’m used to podcast, you know, you have to dumb everything down and you can’t say everything outright. But yeah, so her whole handy manny handy manny handy. Her whole niche is hand jobs. And I was

like, yo, that’s brilliant. That’s so brilliant. So that’s that’s the the advice that I have for people out there is when you’re coming up with your name or if you’re not really happy with your name, rebrand. Think of something catchy. you think of something that’s going to capture attention and, you know, rebrand, do it. So, yeah, go check out uh see if uh Handy Mandy’s available. You know, that’s great. That’s right. Handy Mandy. Yeah, I love that. I And

you know, that’s really like when I’m perusing through people’s social media, those are the things that capture my attention are like I saw the other day um Hosaphina Baker And I was like, hosaphina, I because I love stuff with hoe in it. I call myself now the midlife mentor and it’s mentor with h w h o r e. I’m the midlife mentor. So nice. Yeah, [expletive] yeah, definitely. Branding is so [expletive] important. And plus, it could be fun, you know, depending on what you come up with and

[expletive] And you can, you know, like create off of that, you know? That’s what I’m good at. I’m great at marketing. That’s that’s I if I had to say, you know, a lot of people have asked me like, “What would be the key to your success and like the longevity of your career?” And I would I would definitely say that the ability to recreate myself or not being afraid to abandon the things that don’t work for me and take on new things to see if those stick. Um, one of the things I will say is that

I don’t normally cam under Platinum [expletive] And the reason for that is because the guys that come and see me usually want to talk about the time that I was that I was shooting porn. And because when I’m live on cams, you know, I’m not there to chat about my career, like unless they’re spending money, and typically they’re not. They just are asking questions because they’re like, “Oh, she’s live.” Um, my most successful cam personality that I created is Megaill. And Meg is just the housewife

next door who happened to find Chaturbate on her one of her computers. and how it got there. Oh my gosh, it had to be the the nanny. And I’m just a random house housewife that got curious and jumped on chatterbait and nobody knows. Sh. And I’m out here, you know, been I’m married to my my high school sweetheart and we’ve got, you know, 50 kids. Not really, but you know, we’ve got a house full of kids and I’m just a housewife that cooks and cleans and runs the family business. And my husband

doesn’t spend a lot of time with me cuz he’s in his man cave playing Call of Duty. And I’ve got these kids running around and I get on Chaturbate. I sneak on Chaturbate because I need some some milk time. I need some Hold on. I need some some, you know, like grown woman time. And the guys and I did it just because I was getting on canvas. Oh my god. And I was seeing like no results. And I’m like, how can I be an OG, a legend, a trailblazer, and I get on cam and I’m not successful? And that’s

because first of all, I wasn’t really on cam consistently. But beyond that, the only thing people were interested in talking about was my porn career cuz that was my name. And it’s like, okay, well, one day I got creative and decided to be a nobody. It was the best thing I ever did. I made more money camming as a nobody than I ever did as Platinum [expletive] So, you know, let that be a lesson to putting a little like as much as branding is important, so is coming up with the storyline and having, you

know, the presentation. And the thing that made Megaill so popular was that I would get on cam and literally my husband would be next to me, which obviously he knew. He knew he married Platinum. But I would be like, “Shh, don’t tip. You’re g Oh.” And I’d have the Lush inside and I would be like, “Oh, you’re going to get me caught.” And he’d be like, “So he knew the he knew the game.” And the game would be like, he’d be like, “What are you doing?

What’s wrong?” And I’d be like I would be like, “Ching.” You know, like every time the token noise would go off, I’d be like, “Oh, I’m playing slot machines.” And he’d be like, “But why are you like acting like that?” And I’m like, “Oh, cuz I’m so excited that I won.” And he’d be like, “Okay.” Now, mind you, he

knows what’s going on, but he found it he found it absolutely fascinating that people were like

getting into it and like they got to a point where they would spend so many tokens cuz they were trying to get me to, you know, be caught and he would be over there laughing his ass off like, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this, dude. That sounds like so much [expletive] fun.” Until I got caught. Then I was like, “Fuck.” But and I got stalked. That’s really why I don’t cam under that name anymore is because unfortunately Oh, what a [expletive] downer. Well, it it taps into another subject

that I think is really important for other performers to and not only just performers, but like the fans is that collaborating with other performers can be dangerous. Oh, I’ve never heard that before. I’ve never heard that before. Oh, wow. You heard that? Yeah. I was going to say, damn. Um, no, I know. Um, yeah. So, what happened was I met a girl on a campsite and she was very popular. Another BBW performer. Turns out she lives about an hour away from me. I live in Baltimore. She lives in a bordering

state is what we’ll say cuz I don’t want anybody to know who she is and send her any unnecessary attention. Um, and I just loved her cam personality. She was just real very very similar to mine, but she had a big following and she had these people that were like really dedicated to her. And I’m a person with like crazy work ethic and I can I respect people that have that same like she got on cam the same time every day and she cammed for hours and I just was like, “Oh my gosh, this is I admire

her.” So, I went into her cam room and one thing I’ve experienced is very few people are are nice to you when you go into the cam room and they know you’re a performer. And I went in there and I started tipping her and she was real cool about it. And in fact, we just developed a friendship. We started talking online. We started going on cam together. We started pitting our fans against each other. We would do like tip wars and all kinds of stuff. So it became not only lucrative but you know

we developed this friendship and what I did not know is that she participated in um some things that I not only don’t agree with as a human being but were a complete conflict to me as a person and definitely my online persona. But I didn’t know at the time what this was and I didn’t realize my affiliation was going to get me wrapped up in this situation. So what happens is she decides, hey, I’m coming to your house. We’re going to get together. Warning, be very careful who you invite into your home. I brought her

to my house. We did some camming together. We c shot some content together. And we had a blast. like her energy and like her as a person. We got along wonderfully, which is not very common sometimes. Like I have a very high energy, ambitious personality that people are very intimidated by and they just automatically think that I’m like I don’t know. I don’t know why they do that, but I digress. So, she came a couple times. In fact, she brought her husband and her husband got along with

my husband and like everything was good. Um, one day she shares with me that she sends fake videos to people who like bestiality. So, I find out that a good portion of her fan base is in this community. Now, I don’t condone it. I don’t watch it. I don’t know anything about it aside from the fact that it’s highly illegal and it’s very inhumane. But this is a huge game changer for me. I’m like, “Oo.” But at the time, I just was like, “Well, she’s not doing it, so who could

it possibly hurt?” Right. Yeah. But wait, wait, you sent fake. What What does that mean? Like, so she would take stuff that was already on the internet from people that were posting it and then she would just send it to these guys. Oh, so the real but not from her. Correct. She wasn’t actually producing it, but she was making money from other people’s content, which in itself is wrong. But and I and I I really came to that conclusion very early and it did cause some issues with us. But where it became

problematic for me was that one of the fans that she had sends me an email and asks me to do a custom video and they’re like, “We want you to do this.” So, it never occurred to me that because she was participating in this [expletive] that somebody was going to just think that I was okay with it. And I was I didn’t even answer. I didn’t even respond to the email cuz I was just I had that like that pearl clutch. What? You want me to do what? Like, hell no. So, I just was like, I’m

going to ignore that the email exists and keep going with my life and we’re just going to pretend that never happened. You know, sweep it under the rug. And I really didn’t know how to respond to that. And I was always told that if someone’s stalking you, not to even engage with them because they’re just looking for your attention. So, I pass it by, don’t pay it any attention, don’t even think about it again until I get another email about a week later and it’s literally doxxing me legal name,

address like and because I was camming under Megaill, they then bring up Platinum [expletive] So, now I’m really concerned because now this like if it was just the Megaill thing, I could shut that down and it would be whatever, right? But they know about my other stuff, too. So, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, my career is over.” All because you wouldn’t bang a dog. All because I wouldn’t bang a dog and do this custom video request. So, in the midst of this video, they tell me that if I don’t produce the content, they’re

going to find content of someone who looks like me and put all my information on it and send it anyways. So, I can either do the content or I can let and I’m like, why would I like I don’t understand, but whatever. I just was like, again, I’m not even gonna pay this no mind. But it did scare me because they know my address. They know my name. [expletive] yeah. They’re they’re, you know, threatening to go to the police, which I couldn’t imagine what I would have done wrong. But, you know, we live in a time

where all people do got to do is call the police. And once you get wrapped up into a case, whether you’re innocent or guilty doesn’t matter. Like things just go left. So I’m petrified. I am literally I’m not a big crier

normally, but I’m literally crying cuz I’m like my life literally is exploding in front of my face. And I didn’t put two and two together at first, but eventually it was like it it was obvious like why else would these people even know who I am? So, um it it’s actually still ongoing.

This is since 2016, so it’s almost been 10 years. They come back about once a year. And I mean, what I will say is this, and the reason why I bring it up, the collaboration part, you got to be careful. Know what kind of content these people are doing. And if it’s things that you don’t agree with, don’t get involved because you will get their fan base. You will get their psychos. You’ll get all the stuff that comes with it. It isn’t worth the money. Luckily, I never took any money from anybody from that

community. But well, that I know of. Not not for those things. I mean, they could have tipped me just off of GP, but you know, it’s just a bad situation to be in. Beyond that, the real message is this. when you’re being blackmailed or if you have people that are coming to you and making you feel like you know what I experienced. I have never responded to them. And in my case, I’ve been very lucky. Nothing has actually come to fruition. PETA has not come to my door. The police have not come to my

door. And they have they have not done anything outside of just continuously sending me emails. And they did put out the video with my email address on it and all my social media information and whatever. And I do get there was a time I was getting hundreds of emails a day asking me to do this content. And randomly from time to time I’ll get something that’s like, hey, I saw you on Zoo something, you know, can you do a video for me? And I just ignore it and keep it pushing. But I say that to say

that the internet is a dangerous place. So Oh gosh, that’s my husband. and I didn’t respond to his text. So, he’s like, “Hello, but um that’s [expletive] insane. You got to be careful. Please protect yourself.” And I I tried to get the police involved and the FBI involved. Um but there’s so much internet crime happening that a cam girl being stalked is not top priority. And since then, I’ve been working on some sort of like nonprofit organization that helps people that are

like cam performers who are going through this, whether it’s someone they know or someone they don’t know or whatever the case may be. Um, I’m lucky that I have a support system that brought me back to, you know, being able to be myself and not get sucked into this situation, but a lot of people are adversely affected. I will say it did affect my mental health and I want to create an organization that comes in, gets the FBI or you know some sort of government agency involved and helps you to feel a little bit more

safe, gives you tips and resources that you can you know protect yourself and set you up with a free VPN or whatever the case may be. Like I haven’t gotten that far yet. Um, but I do think it’s important that online performers have somewhere to go to get comfort or just to be able to express themselves to someone. You know, you go to your family and they’re like, “Well, I told you so. What did you think was

going to happen?” Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Well, thanks. Oh, that that

that helps. That helps so much. Thank you. What the [expletive] Well, I mean, I think it’s important because, you know, we’re just doing our jobs, you know, and while being a online performer, whether you’re just doing OnlyFans or if you’re on a cam site or whatever part of the industry you’re in, you know, the the biggest thing that a lot of people don’t understand is that we are the product. So when we are going through something whether it’s mental health, whether it’s physical health,

whe whether it’s our heart is broken because a partner is being a shitty person or they broke up with us or we broke up with them or whatever. Like when when we’re going through things, it affects our money. It affects our ability to conduct business. It affects everything. And you know, we need to to have a better support system because some of the worst serious situations I’ve experienced have been with other performers. And we have enough fights. That’s interesting. We have enough

fights out here. Crazy. Why the [expletive] are we fighting each other? Right. You know what I’m saying? I just did a TikTok the other day where I’m like, we are not beefing. You’re beefing. We’re not beefing. I don’t I I have no I don’t give a [expletive] Like we’ve decided we’re not going to be okay with each other. Cool. I don’t I’m not going to go out on a [expletive] [expletive] throwing campaign for what? Take that time and that energy and be a better version of yourself. Do

better. But what do I gain from coming for you? Like nothing. And I feel like people just misjudge me thinking that I’m some, you know, like I I don’t know. Like I don’t know what they think I’m doing, but I’m literally over here just trying to survive the [expletive] world. Okay. I am literally just trying to be a better version of myself today than I was yesterday. I am literally just trying not to hurt myself or anybody else in this world. You are not I’m not going to give you any time or energy.

We’ve we’ve come to the conclusion that we can’t be cool. No problem. It doesn’t have to be a [expletive] throwing war. Like done. We’re moving on. But unfortunately, you know, and this isn’t just in the industry. I think this is just people in general. Like when you separate from someone, we’ve got to find healthier ways of coming up with an amicable way of separating ourselves from people because sometimes we are the drama. We create a situation where there is no situation to create. It’s like,

hey, you know, you made a mistake. I made a mistake. We made a mistake. We decided that we just don’t need to be in the same airspace together. Cool. I’m going to remove myself so you can breathe without me. I’m going to go somewhere to the other side. You know what I’m saying? And everything that I’m doing going forward is just, you know, has nothing to do with you. So yeah, cam girl beef I don’t get cuz I guess yeah, you can [expletive] say like, you know, like what you’re taking my

[expletive] customers this and that, but that’s that’s really not the [expletive] reality of it. But besides that with the um the doxxing because I see that a lot on uh the Reddit, you know, the uh Reddits uh the different Reddits, the Only Fans, the [expletive] creators advice, all that [expletive] I see a lot of especially noobs, they’re like, I [expletive] been doxxed. What the [expletive] do I do? Would you say like just in general like just ignore it? No. No. Um, I don’t say ignore it because people having your personal information is

serious. I have not figured out a affordable and um, successful way of scrubbing the internet. Um, a lot of the information once it’s been placed on the regular internet makes it to the dark web. And once it’s on the dark web, it’s virtually impossible to hunt down and get off. Um, so that’s not meant to scare people. It’s meant to be the reality of the situation. Now, I’ve been doxed many times and, you know, I can say that fortunate for myself, you know, those things haven’t come

into a safety issue that I’m aware of. And I’m going to say that I’m aware of because I don’t know if someone was watching me. There’s been a few times and few situations that could have possibly been as a result of being doxed, but I don’t know for certain. And I don’t like to perpetuate a storyline unless I know that there’s, you know, actual facts. But I can say that like when it comes to being doxxed, there’s some things you can do to protect yourself. And one

of those things is getting yourself a PO box. Never, ever, ever. I don’t care how much you get comfortable with a fan. I don’t care how comfortable you get with other performers. Use as little of your own personal information as you have to. And it’s difficult. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t collab with people is because you got to give them your driver’s license. You got to give them, you know, personal information. And you know, I just don’t feel comfortable with

people out there having access to my personal information. So, I fi I find that using and I know it sounds shitty, but using a fake name, um using a PO box, having a phone number that’s hidden behind a wall or not, you know, like maybe getting a prepaid phone and not even having it in your name. thinking about I used to be a skip tracer and a skip tracer is a person who for bounty hunters and collection agencies and police they go and they search the internet to find out who people are. So one of the things that

makes it really difficult to find people is when they use things like text now or Google voice um or they don’t have their phone and their name because you know that’s an easy reverse search. um not using your home address. Um you know, there’s there’s just a lot of things that you can do to mask your identity. And I think it’s super necessary for your own safety. And don’t invite people to your home. The number one reason why people in this industry are targeted is because

people have their home address. Stop inviting people into your home. And it sucks. It sucks cuz you you meet people and you like them and you want them to come over and have drinks and and have girls nights and shoot content and go on cam together. You want to do it. But I I highly suggest renting an

Airbnb Airbnb. um going to a studio, getting a hotel room, being in a mutual place where neither one of you have to give up your home address, and when things are done, you go home to your your safe, you know, your safe

zone. And um while I don’t know how to circumvent the identification information, I do like that some cam sites you just give them your your online name like Chaturbate, Sin Party, um streaming, you just give them the name of the person that you’re camming with and you don’t have to give them any information. Same thing with O of O of O of O of O of O of O of O of O of O of OnlyFans. You just tell them what your OnlyFans name is, they tag you, and boom, you’re you’re under compliance. Yeah. I had no idea about

that. I thought like, you know, like long as you’re, you know, you give the the site your information, then they know that you’re good to, you know, stream with them, it’s all good. To give another performer your all your information, that’s insane. I had no idea that’s a thing. Well, if you’re shooting con Well, here’s the thing. While the camming part isn’t really the issue, what happens is when we’re collaborating together, we want to maximize the time that we’re together,

right? Mhm. So, while we’re together, we’re going to want to shoot content. Whether we use it for many vids or clips for sale or of loyal LF, wherever we want to use it, you get a release form and a 2257 form at minimum. And the release form is to verify that you have rightful ownership of the content that you create. And the 2257 is for age verification to verify that the person that you’re shooting content with is of age, which requires a valid state or government issued ID, which is where the driver’s license

comes into play. So if we’re getting together Oh, yeah. Okay. All right. and we’re shooting content together, then it would be necessary if I’m going to use that content outside of, you know, Only Fans or where wherever, I need to have those those things in place. I have to have the the valid photo ID. I have to have the 2257 to verify that you, you know, agreed you were consensual and a model release that says that I have, you know, rightful ownership of this content and can and been given permission to

distribute it. So, these things are necessary if we’re going to be shooting together. And a lot of people don’t do it. They don’t do the compliance stuff, which, you know, to each their own. I don’t recommend it. But if you’re doing these things, then this is where the the exchange of the personal information takes place. And so, that’s why I think it’s great that cam sites are incorporating because there was a time you had to do this for the cam sites. When you got on Chaturbate, you had to

literally fill out the paperwork, submit the ID, and they had to to approve it. And now it’s you just tell them what their Chaturbate ID is and they you know, they’ll approve it and then you’re good to go, right? Yeah. Yeah. Which is which is great because I don’t you know that’s how it should be. Like why why am I because I forget what site it is. Yeah. because I because I was posting clips of the podcast. I think it might have been X videos. I don’t remember. But uh you had to get a release form

from the person. I was like, I’m not [expletive] I don’t Phub does that too. Phub does that too. They require that you have the the paperwork and the ID becausey. Yeah. I’m not asking anyone for their [expletive] information. I don’t want it. I don’t want them to have to give it like that. That feels so uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable. However, it’s I think if if I was to come up with if I could get funding, I would come up with a company that protected performers information and

distributed the information. I don’t know how I would do it. like I I really don’t know how that would function, but there used to be a site and I forget what it was called, but it was like 2257 something and basically you submitted all your 2257 paperwork to them because technically the way that it’s supposed to work is this. If the government comes in and someone says you don’t have rightful ownership of this content or you go to to court or whatever, but at any given time they can

request the paperwork of all the the the adult entertainment content that you’ve shot and you have to supply valid IDs and paperwork and even have the date that the content was shot so that they can verify that they were 18 on the day that this stuff was shot. You have to identify what you shot. Technically, there people just do the basics, but you know, you’re actually supposed to have a very detailed and you’re supposed to get a form for everything you shoot. So, if you shoot 10 scenes, each scene should have its

own content release and 2257, which is crazy. It’s a lot of paperwork, but you know, that’s how it’s supposed to be because if if the police come in and someone says that you’re shooting content with someone who’s underage, you have to be able to supply the paperwork and they’re not just going to ask for the paperwork of the person you’re shooting with at the time. They’re going to think that if you’ve done it once, you’ve done it before. They want to see everything. Sure.

They’re going to want to see your entire catalog. In fact, I’m actually getting ready to do a podcast in a few weeks where we talk about like traveling with porn on your phone and how that can get you locked up in certain countries in the world. Oh [expletive] When I tell you people think like I don’t have time to beef with people. I’m back here literally trying to create safer spaces for adult content creators in this world. There are a lot of things that are happening that a lot of people don’t think about or don’t

know to think about. And I just want to make make it so that we can exist and have safe spaces to turn to for, you know, there’s pineapple support for therapy. But I think that we should have support groups where we can go in there and talk about, you know, shitty days. Maybe pineapple support doesn’t have a support group, but maybe they do. I don’t know. But I’m saying like I just want to have these these spaces that help us function because you know you’re not alone. You know, you’re not alone. But

anyways, yeah, paperwork. Sounds like a huge pain in the ass. I mean, but these are things we should be as adult entertainers, we should be proactively working together to fix the system. I mean, why are we beefing with each other? Excuse me. While in Congress, they are creating an age verification nightmare where adult entertainment is going to near be virtually non-existent on the internet in in 50 US states. No, not 50, but right now there’s a lot of states that are incorporating laws that

create an age verification system that like you can’t even it was just Texas. You can’t cam in Florida. People are having to get VPN and creatively or I I don’t know. You can’t get a Phub in Florida or I’ve got a I’ve got a friend that’s in Florida, one of my one of my fans that I’ve been friends with for a long time. He does not know my address, by the way. I don’t even think he knows my real name, but anyways. Um he said that he had to get a VPN to be able to get to OnlyFans and other adult

websites and he is you know like damn I got to go through all this [expletive] just to be able to you know get one at night. I got to write that down because I’m talking to someone that uh lives in Florida tomorrow night. I’m cur because I just thought it was Texas like te you know because that’s no every because all the comedians are talking about that I can’t access porn in Texas blah blah blah there are more states than that there are definitely more states than that and there are more states that are

jumping on the bandwagon so I if you are in the industry at whatever capacity cam person entertainer um content creator whatever you want to call yourself you should be on xbiz.com xbiz.net net. They put out daily press releases and are up to date with, you know, keeping you. Corey Silverstein is an adult entertainment attorney and um he puts out things where he talks about why this is so important for us to fight against and and how age verification affects us as performers and how it affects our ability to make

money in you know various states and why you know a lot of people are like well I don’t understand why I’m making less money on cams and in on when I made so much money in the pandemic and I’m like Because these laws affect us. If they can’t reach you, they can’t pay you. Think about it. If you can’t get into the McDonald’s parking lot and the drive-thru is blocked off and the doors are locked, can you get McDonald’s? No. You got to go somewhere else. Just want a McChick? What the [expletive] I

just want a Big Mac, bro. Right. Like, what the [expletive] Right. But you got to think about it like and and and here’s the other part of that. Like as a performer, we often are like, “Dang, maybe I’m just not looking my best or maybe I got a bad attitude on camera or whatever.” And sometimes there are things happening in the background that have nothing to do with you and are affecting your ability to make money. So, don’t always take it personal because it’s easy. I do it, too.

Sometimes I’ll be like, “Damn, that was a bad day on Cam. Did I Did I have an attitude? Was I too mean? Because I’m a dominatrix. So I’m like, pay me my money. I’m mean. Yeah. Like, shut up. Pay me. And

people are like, sometimes I’ll be like, damn, that that was kind of mean. I should be a little more nurturing. Bust out the [expletive] good fellas. [expletive] you. Pay me. That But that’s really how I feel. Like I when it comes to females, I’m very sensual. When it comes to men,

I’m like, man, just give me the [expletive] money and shut the [expletive] up. Well, isn’t that what it’s all about though? Like it’s a like it’s a business though, right? Like you’re It is like if you’re going to your job, like no matter what it is, going to McDonald’s, going to [expletive] clean someone’s house, whatever, it’s a [expletive] job. I’m not there to [expletive] make friends. I’m not, you know, no, but we have to we have to have a certain I don’t want to say customer

service, but I mean, for a lack of a better way to explain it, we’ve got like you can’t just tell somebody like we all know and it drives me insane. I you know why why I’m on Chaturbate or Sin Party or whatever webcam set I’m on. You know why I’m there. I know why you’re here. I’m not trying to stop you from getting to your ultimate explosion. I just need you to understand that I’m not here to do it just because I have nothing better to do on a Saturday night. You know what

I mean? I’m here because I expect to get paid. So, and you know, it’s like, but we live in a time right now where so many things have been watered down to where people just expect everything for free. But it’s kind of been like that for a long time. It’s not new. It’s just become more prevalent. But yeah, it to some degree, yes, you got to be like, I’m here at my job. But and we that’s a whole another topic for a whole another time. Like the mentality of why people, you know, don’t respect

sex workers. Like, you know, they think that we’re just disposable nothings. We we don’t matter. But yeah, I’m here to work. That’s why I don’t answer DMs on social media. I’m not there to message you for free. You want to message me, go to my OF. You want to see me go live, you go you go to sinparty.com, my preferred webcam site. Yeah, it’s [expletive] amazing because like I don’t know cuz like I’m not in the business. I don’t know [expletive] But like I see a lot because I also post I post a

show everywhere but I’m one of the thing I posted on uh Bitshoot. You familiar with Bitshoot? It’s like a you know a YouTube alternative. Never heard of it. Let me put Hold on. Yeah, you got like Write this down. Big Bit Shoot. Bit T. Oh, okay. Yeah. So, so you got YouTube, then you have Rumble, and then there’s Bitshoot. It’s like, you know, I call it third tier. I’m kind of friends with the CEO of Bitshoot, so please don’t take that personally, sir. RG. It’s not like

that. I swear. I just, you know, it is what it is. Okay. But there are [expletive] like every [expletive] comment on every [expletive] video are these incel guys that are like, you know, so extremely disrespectful to the, you know, to the uh to the girl that I’m interviewing and everything. And it makes no sense to me. I don’t understand. I like, first off, who gives a [expletive] Why are you even [expletive] saying what you’re saying? Who [expletive] cares? All right. And to me, it seems like it’s those guys that just can’t get any

[expletive] They can’t talk to girls. They have no concept of it. They’re angry at, you know, angry. Let’s look at it like this. Where are they at? They’re on the internet. They’re not out with a girl. They’re not doing what men and women or whatever you know sexual dynamic you are cuz you know do you but they’re on the internet which is an indication that they don’t have friends. It’s an indication that they feel like that they’re not living their best life because I’m not commenting on [expletive] that

doesn’t have anything to do with me or even if it does, unless it’s something that I feel I’m going to make a difference and usually a positive difference, I’m not even going to post anything. I don’t hit send unless it’s important. You know what I mean? But these are people that probably do this all day every day. They live in their mother’s basement. They’re 40 years old. you know, living on whatever income source they’ve got coming in, if any. Maybe they just, you know, live off

their parents’ social security. Who [expletive] knows? Like, obviously, for you to feel compelled to make that comment. But here’s my advice. I don’t take it personal. You know why I don’t take it personal? Because who the [expletive] are they? It’s like when people call me fat, I’m like, “Oh [expletive] Captain Obvious.” What? I know I’m fat. I don’t need you to tell me I’m fat, but I’m [expletive] fabulous. So, I may be fat, but you are stupid and I can lose weight. You’re

stuck that way for the rest of your life. So, who’s winning? Not only that, but it goes back to my original trade line. I get paid by the pound. So, if I gain five pounds, I’m gaining more money. So, now what? You have to just like you if you engage with people like that, you’re only giving them the attention that you know the mama upstairs is not giving them or whoever. Like they’re just you I don’t even engage with them because nothing is more frustrating and insulting to them than when nobody pays

them attention. They love the attention when people go back and forth with them on the internet. So, you know, if you’re going to watch when you see this, you [expletive] loser. I don’t give a [expletive] Comment away because the more you comment, it creates engagement for his account. So, comment the [expletive] on. Just know it falls on deaf ears. I don’t give a [expletive] In fact, I get I I get turned on by it. So, do it, baby. Yes. Well, [expletive] yeah. We all know they’re [expletive] limpic losers that can’t get any

[expletive] have no concept of talking to a girl, have never talked to a girl because they’re too [expletive] scared and there it see they are so angry. I don’t know why I get angry about it, but it [expletive] it just it’s so [expletive] like I’ve never had like out of all since I started watching YouTube or any of this [expletive] I’ve never had the [expletive] urge to, you know, say something negative about some [expletive] I’ve seen on YouTube. Like for anything, forget about cam girls, like anything, any [expletive] video

I’ve ever seen. I’ve never had the urge to [expletive] you know, like, oh, this is garbage because you know

what? I know that other pe, you know, especially if, you know, it got a lot of views, likes, whatever. I know other people like it. So just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean other people don’t like it. You know what I mean? And who cares? Who the [expletive] are you to think that your opinion matters? Like, let’s just face it. The internet is full of, you know, 60 billion people. Like, who the [expletive] are

you? Why are you typing this comment that nobody really gives a [expletive] about? You know what I mean? Like, what a [expletive] loser. Like, if that’s not the boy who cried wolf begging for attention, like, yeah. So, if you’re gonna comment on my [expletive] and I urge you to give me your best. give me like you don’t like the comments that they say are so dumb that I’m like you didn’t even bring your best come for me and give me something that I’m like that’s funny you know what I’m saying those are

the comments that I may comment on and I might be like clap clap clap touch you know what I’m saying like when somebody says something that’s actually funny or clever then I’m like okay that was funny I’m going to give you that cuz that’s the type of person that I am like I’m humble as [expletive] like I’m going to be like yeah that was funny I do have two chins Wow. Maybe three. Like, okay, I give you that. But like the [expletive] that they say is so whack and weak and it’s like it’s

like going for the like most common fat joke or the most common your mama joke or the most common you’re so stupid joke. It’s like come on, just be real and creative and like original. Give me something. But you don’t even bring your best. you go for, you know, you looked in the, you know, the the joke book for dummies and you’re like, “Oh, oh, you’re so fat that, you know, blah blah blah blah blah.” And you’re just like, “Really? I saw that on a comedy show.” Like, come on. Do

better. Exactly. And that that’s what I want [expletive] you know, cam girls to realize. Like, [expletive] the [expletive] negative comments and [expletive] Like, cuz do do other people do do you have people that like you? That’s what matters. You know what I mean? Of course, there’s going to be people that don’t like you. That’s just how it is. That’s how it is with everything. They don’t even like themselves. They don’t They’re not Which is why they’re commenting like that,

right? They’re not capable of liking you because they don’t even like themselves. Nobody This is the thing. What do they say? Um, there’s like some comment where it’s like the the queen doesn’t something with the peasants, but it’s it’s there’s something like the the lions don’t I’m not familiar with that [expletive] It’s like some sort of thing where it’s like um the the basis of the comment is like there’s certain like the queen isn’t going to fight with a peasant because

the queen’s on the throne. Like she she doesn’t she’s not going to have an argument with a commoner. You know what I mean? Like understanding that like these people are not even close to your like they’re not in any comparison to you. You don’t compete where you don’t compare. Like when people say, “Oh, you know, like I’m competing with them.” And I’m like, “You are on a country road in the middle of god

[expletive] knows nowhere. I’m on a highway in the fast lane on the

autobond in a completely different country. We are not competing. We can’t. You’re on a bicycle on a country road. I’m on the autobond. I’m going a million miles a minute.” Like, and beyond that, I’m not here to compete with you. What? Unless you want to get into something that’s lucrative, like, you know, a pay-per-view boxing match or a bad baby Alabama Barker beef because both of them are making money from that [expletive] I’m not interested. I don’t give a [expletive] about

your comment. I don’t give a [expletive] about your beef. I don’t give a [expletive] about your opinion. And I hate to say it that way because, you know, I I want I don’t want people to think that I don’t value other people just because of, you know, a financial gain. But when it comes to comments, I really don’t. I don’t. Nothing you say un unless you’re bringing something to my attention where I said something that’s offensive and it really is offensive. You know what I mean? Like those are the types of

situations where I might pay attention and use that as a learning moment to say, “hm, I didn’t realize that what I was saying was offensive.” You know what I mean? Like, you know, back in the day when people used to say [expletive] and it’s like, “No, you say trans or now you have to do you have to ask people what they identify as, you know, are you she, her, him, him, um, they, them, or whatever.” like and you know those are those are moments where it’s like okay I’m willing to learn but

unless your comment is there to teach a lesson or not even teach a lesson but to inform me or the the people that are looking at this content and you’re just there to be a jackass like then bring your best. Come with your best bro. Don’t come at me with no weak ass [expletive] because I’m gonna come up underneath your comment and laugh my ass off or or not pay you any attention at all. Or maybe I’ll put you on my podcast and talk [expletive] about you. I don’t know. Not likely, but maybe that’s something

to do in the future. Oh, well, that’s what I’m doing. That’s why I brought up that Bitshoot stuff because I want to take all those comments and just do a [expletive] I just want to go through each one because they are so [expletive] like it’s it’s why you’re giving them airplay. Put that Put that They deserve it. They’re [expletive] [expletive] They don’t deserve it. Put that time and energy into something positive. Like take the the good comments and make a podcast where you’re like, “Oh, this is really

nice.” Round of applause. I don’t know. All right, I’ll do it on my other [expletive] thing, the my thing. Because [expletive] so I can make fun of them. I just want to make fun of Is it going to make you money? Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just fun to me. That’s it’s I just You need to find better hobbies, bro. If you’re going to have fun, like, have fun making money. You know what I’m saying? I’m just I don’t know. That’s just my personal opinion. I feel like

again, this goes back to me saying like I’m I’m only interested in doing things that are going to better myself as a human being or are going to make money. And I’m not willing to hurt other people to make money. You know what I’m saying? like that’s definitely that’s not something I’m interested in. In fact, I did a I did a thing called BBW Cam House from 2014 to 2018. It was the first BBW virtual voyer house. So, I don’t know if you guys remember um it was like dorm something

dorms, but basically there used to be this this website where you could go and they had cameras inside the dorm rooms. And I’m gonna look it up because I need to remember Big Brother. That show Big Brother. Big Brother. I used to love that. Season two. Will. Yes. He’s the [expletive] man. But hold on. I’m gonna look it up because I I used to remember it and it’s been a long time since I’ve talked about Yeah. [expletive] Big Brother. Oh my god. Season two. I didn’t watch season one. Season two. [expletive] Will was

like [expletive] J.R. Yuing from Dallas. That’s a Nobody understands that. That’s a [expletive] You gota be like in your 60s to know Dallas. But yeah, I was I remember Dallas. But yeah, it was big brother but you know the adult entertainment version. So Right. Yeah. Yeah. You could see everything in my house. I lived in the house which is highly 10 out of 10 do not recommend. But you could see the cameras in the bathrooms. You could see the cameras in all the bedrooms, the basement, which is where most of the action took place

because we hosted lifestyle parties. And um so during the time of this house, I was approached by um we did a a thing on channel 5 UK um a show called Superersized. I don’t know if it’s still out, but there was um we were on a a TV show in the UK and it was basically just talking about the Voyer House and how, you know, we are um plus-siz performers and I’m an advocate for size positivity and body positivity, yada yada yada. So we were on channel 5 and through that other companies and

this is during the bad girl bad girl club you know hype like it was the big thing and they came and they said we want to do basically a spin-off called BBW Bad girls club and I was like absolutely not good money really good money almost life-changing money like they they were willing to pay good money to do this show and I said absolutely Absolutely not. One, I live in this house, which means I don’t get to go home when the the drama is over cuz the drama is never going to be over cuz that’s how that

works, right? They just keep everybody at odds with each other because that’s what keeps the Bad Girls Club. And I’ve also seen how reality TV works and the producers stir up drama. So, there’s that. Two, I was not comfortable pitting women against each other. I’m not okay with that. I’m not okay with things being fabricated or things being egged on to a point where people want to harm each other. Like it’s one thing if we can just argue and even then that’s toxic behavior that I just didn’t and I just

didn’t feel comfortable making money or you know were this would this be an opportunity for people to rise in their stardom? Possibly. But is that what I want to be known for? [expletive] no. Is it? And on top of that,

I was also recently asked to do a podcast and it would be an adult entertainment gossip podcast where we would talk about who’s beefing and we would talk about, you know, all the drama happening in the industry. And I was like, no. The Keemstar. You’d be the Keemstar of uh the Mike South. Do you

know who Mike South is? No. No. It’s kind of like the Mike South, the TMZ of porn. Like absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. No. So, and that’s a testament to the opportunities that have presented themselves over the years where people are like, “Oh, she’ll step on anybody to get to the top.” And I’m like, I have not gotten to the top because I refuse to do those things. I refuse. I just don’t want to be a part. First of all, nothing good comes out of it. Secondly, I I’m

naturally just end up in drama. So I don’t want to purposefully enter into situations where you know people are violent and you know beyond that like I’m doing my best to be a positive part of the internet. I want to my social media is very much I want to be um supportive to other people. I want to be give positive, you know, content, but I I just I’m not interested in in participating in that [expletive] And it could have been lucrative. So, I’m not willing to do anything for money. Well, yeah.

People love negativity. Like, like you said, TMZ, like you know, it’s all [expletive] negative. Keemstar on YouTube, all negative. There’s no positive. Who the [expletive] Nobody want I don’t know why. Like people love drama. I mean, it’s easier to judge other people and their drama. I mean, let’s look at the Diddy situation. I mean, people are invested in his story, but they’re invested because they’re like, “What’s going to happen to Diddy?” But what about the people that were affected by him? The

victims that are out there that lives have been destroyed. like, you know, in the midst of all this drama. Yeah. It’s like, are we interested in what happens to him for the purpose of making sure that he’s not able to hurt anybody else? Absolutely. But that’s I don’t think that’s why people are watching. They’re watching because it’s, you know, drama worthy. It’s like Kanye West. People talk so much [expletive] about, oh, Kanye West. And I’m like, you know, Kanye says some things that are very,

very offthe-wall. Like he’s definitely bipolar usual person. Hardcore bipolar. Absolutely. Well, with the whole [expletive] diddy thing, like I don’t even [expletive] like I haven’t heard anything like every now and then I’ll hear [expletive] The only thing I’m interested in and it’s like it’s amazing that that [expletive] goes on like that. That’s insane. But that’s what I’m saying. when you when you beef with somebody over some dumb [expletive] you know, cuz somebody’s tipping someone else more on camsites

or, you know what I’m saying, like, you know, trivial drama. There are bigger situations happening. People’s lives are in danger. People’s mental health are at risk. There are true victims out there and other bigger worldly things happening. I don’t have time to give a [expletive] about you and your feelings. [expletive] your feelings. And if you really feel some kind of way, there’s a way to go about things without having to d to destroy each other and get into internet beef. You know, contact the person

directly. Contact the person directly because in a lot of the situations that I’ve seen, no one’s attempted any type of amicable resolution. They just one person has one opinion, somebody else has a different opinion, and then they just go at each other. And in the midst of that, it’s like, what is the real common problem here? What what are we hoping to accomplish with this? Are you are you destroying this person because they’re a real bad person and they’re out there really hurting people or are

you just hurt yourself and hurt people hurt people and you do it for attention? Like, I just don’t understand it. I’m not going to actively one I don’t participate in the online back and forth anyways because to me I could take that time and energy and do something more positive, productive and lucrative. But beyond that, you know, if you want to have a conversation with me, there’s a way to go about that. And most of the people that have had beef with me have never confronted me directly. It’s

always been conversations in the background and, you know, beefing with me in the background or beefing with me on social media. And because I don’t participate, it either fades away or those people don’t even exist in the industry anymore. So, I just ignore it. I’m just like, [expletive] that. I don’t get it. I don’t understand it. Like, well, it’s I think it’s all about their personal [expletive] I mean, you know this. It’s all about their personal issues. It has nothing to do with you. You know,

they feel it usually. Well, it’s usually because they probably feel threatened by you. You know what I mean? Like I mean I it depends on the situation, of course. Maybe. I think I think first of all, I am a person who takes responsibility and accountability for my [expletive] Have I made mistakes? 1,000%. Have I have I functioned in this industry during times where I was mentally broken? Yes. In those times, have I participated in toxic activities or conversations or been not the most authentic version of

myself and things have happened and people have been hurt? Yes. However, when I say that you I’m not perfect. So, I’m not going to sit here and try to paint a picture like, “Oh, I’m a victim. People attack me for no reason.” Because it’s not the case. What I’m saying is that there’s a way to go about doing things and having that conversation and also saying she’s not willing to hear my side of the story or vice versa and we’re not going to come up with an amicable like resolution but

I’m an understanding person who can say listen I may not understand where you’re coming from and I I I don’t exactly you know like I’m that person that’s going to be like I get it okay um if I’m not sorry about what I did because I don’t understand how what I did was wrong, then I’m not going to apologize. But if I see that I was wrong, and in most cases, I I’ll be like, “Yeah, that was [expletive] up. I could have I could have handled that situation better.” Or,

“Yeah, I said that. That that was mean.” Like, “That was very hurtful. I apologize.” And it doesn’t have to

be like a reconciliation and we’re not going to pick up where we left off. I’m okay with that. Um, but we can at least move in this space and not have to be on enemy, you know, like it’s not an enemy territory type situation. It’s you’re doing your thing, I’m doing my thing. And that’s just, you know, you’re you’re on your side, I’m on my side, and I

respect that. And, you know, I I think for me, I’m often misunderstood. And the version of me that a lot of people beef with is an older version of myself. I took 2024 to heal. I took 2024 to face my demons and to do the work that needed to be done because, you know, a lot of things had happened prior to that. I never took the time to I I put all my energy into iHeart BBW and, you know, [expletive] got crazy. And so I think that’s the part because I take responsibility and accountability for my actions or lack

thereof. Other people aren’t quite there in their journey. They’re not at that point in their journey where they too can say, “Yeah, I could have did something better. I could have would have should have, you know, participated in this or shouldn’t have participated in that.” And because they don’t want to take accountability or any responsibility for their actions or lack thereof, it’s easier to just be in a situation with me and make me the enemy because they don’t want to they

don’t want to have that moment of clarity or that moment of truth where it’s like, yeah, um it takes more than one person to build a community and it takes more than one person to tear it apart and destroy it. So, I can’t I can’t be solely responsible. I can’t take all the accolades for its success, and I’m not going to take all the blame for its destruction. So, anybody that has beef, I’m just like, yo, there are so many better things that we can be doing with ourselves that I’m just not

participating. Right. And I think a lot of people like are so used to dealing with people that don’t own up to their [expletive] and just [expletive] you know, so like when they’re beefing with with someone like you, they’re, you know, they’re just expecting you to not own up to your [expletive] not just [expletive] So it just keeps on [expletive] coming at you. You know what I mean? But you don’t know. Right. Right. That Right. That’s the thing. Like for me, if you never try, you can’t fail. You can’t succeed. Like you got to

if you come to me and one of the things that I learned throughout this last year is you also have to remember where people are in the time that a situation happens. And for me, if you had a conversation with me during 2023 and I wasn’t listening to you or I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong, I was broken. I was I was barely surviving. I literally was giving everything to everyone except myself. And so at the end of 2023, I was broken, like shattered into a million pieces. Excuse me.

And 2024, I had to put myself back together. So the conversation that we would have had in 2023 is going to look very differently than the conversation that we’re going to have in 2025. In 2025, I’m going to sit down and say I [expletive] up. I made some critical mistakes. I was supposed to be a leader and I shouldn’t have been leading anything cuz I could barely lead myself and I had some serious trauma take

place. And that’s not an excuse for bad behavior. It’s just the facts of what

was happening in my life. And I excuse do not excuse my behavior in any way, shape, form or fashion. So the conversation we’re going to have today is going to be very different because I’m I’m healed. I’ve matured. I’ve grown and evolved and realized that, you know, the way that I was doing things was not healthy for myself or anybody around me. So if someone was hurt by my actions or my words, if somebody, you know, feels some kind of way and that’s what the beef is, which in most cases it is.

Somebody was hurt by something and, you know, it’s just easier to villainize other people than to say I went about doing thing, you know, and it’s not their responsibility, but at the same time, like it kind of is like it’s our responsibility. But I digress. that conversation is going to look very different today because I would definitely be like, “Yeah, I said some [expletive] up [expletive] I did some [expletive] up [expletive] and I wasn’t the best version of myself. I apologize.” You know, um I

don’t want to be around you because anybody that I’m going to be around needs to be able to come to me and be like, shake me and be like, “Yo, [expletive] what the [expletive] are you doing?” Like that’s that’s what I’ve ascertained from all of those things is that I wasn’t around people who genuinely cared about me because those people would have noticed that something was wrong and h found a way to communicate with me that what I was doing was damaging myself and the people around me. You know what I

mean? Oh yeah, definitely. So now I I So it wouldn’t be a situation where it’s like I don’t hate you. I don’t I don’t want, you know, like I I don’t want to have that negative energy between us because it’s not healthy. But at the same time, you know, be able to come to a space where it’s like, you know, I get it. you you you’re upset about something that happened in 2023 and the version of me that you are talking about doesn’t even exist anymore because I’ve done everything in

my power to figure out why that was happening so that I could fix it and be a better version of myself. Not that I’m better than anyone else because that’s I hate when people say that you’re you think you’re better than everyone else. No, babe. I’m better me today than I was yesterday. Period. So, right. So, if you’re having beef with someone, [expletive] just just tell them like it is. Don’t [expletive] like be like try not to be confrontational cuz like I’ve had, you know, like I I had

some YouTuber friends and [expletive] I’ve [expletive] destroyed relationships and I’ve, you know, got into a lot of [expletive] YouTuber drama and [expletive] especially with one of my friends, Ask a Gangster. We [expletive] like we were best friends. We [expletive] you know, we got into beef. I don’t even remember what the beef was. Well, it was my fault, but and he finally [expletive] said, you know, like he was making diss tracks on me. We were [expletive] going back and forth, but like he finally said like we had a real

conversation. He was like, “Yo, you [expletive] said this [expletive] and it just made everything [expletive] up.” And I, you know, I I was like, “Oh my god, I didn’t even realize I said that. I am so sorry.” And we made up and everything was good. You know what I mean? like the just tell someone like it is, you know, like I mean, in today’s day, I’ll be honest with you, in today’s day, people are so sensitive and it’s easier to perpetuate the negativity than it is to confront

the situation. And honestly, for me, a lot of times, the reason why I don’t confront things is because I don’t I I don’t say I don’t confront things, but there are things that I have not confronted because the person that I would be confronting is not in a place and I’m not really the person to judge that, but if I don’t confront something, it’s usually because I’m like, I don’t think this person’s in a healthy place to have the conversation in a in a way

that’s going to end well. And so, if you already have that drama, I just don’t want to continue to feed into it. You know what I mean? Like it’s just like one of those things where I’m just like I’m not giving it any energy and and any attention unless I see that there’s like some sort of you know cuz there’s been situations in the past where you know something happened four or five years ago and then I’ll see someone at a convention or I’ll see you know something online and somehow I get

caught up into a conversation and then we’ll talk about something and nine times out of 10 like you said you don’t even remember what you’re beefing about. You know, there’s people that have beefs with me and I’m like, I don’t even [expletive] remember what happened. That’s how much this really plagued me. Like, you know, I just get to a point where I’m just like, look, we don’t [expletive] with each other. Cool. Keep it pushing. It’s like an old relationship. I’m not feing

for anybody from my past. I don’t I don’t In fact, I’m going to do an entire podcast series about people being friends after they break up because I think that’s so weird. Like once we’ve decided we are not going to unless we were really good friends beforehand, which is often not the case, I think it’s weird to remain friends with your exes because when you get into a new relationship, you know what I mean? Like that person’s like, why are you still talking to below

Joe the ex? Like I don’t get it. So for me, it’s like I can wish you well, but that doesn’t mean that I need to like be in your life or you need to be in mine. So anyways, I say all that to say that like we don’t have to be in each other’s lives anymore. And if we’re and this is why I’m now very careful about who I consider friends or the collaborations or even just like being careful because this is my work space. And so when it comes to personal friendships and relationships, those don’t mix with

business very well because when people want to break up, they want to destroy people’s businesses. You know what I mean? Mhm. Oh yeah. And I’m not coming for your income sources. I’m not stopping

you from making money. I’m not I’m not that kind of like when people call me a hater or they, you know, they they want to villainize me. I’m like, listen, I’m not stopping you from doing what you do. Period. I’m not telling cam companies not to let you go live. I’m not going to producers and telling them

not to shoot you. I’m not getting involved in stopping you from making your money. Contrary to popular belief, I really am not. cuz I don’t want you to do that [expletive] to me. You know what I’m saying? Like I don’t want you to stop me from making my money. So [expletive] I didn’t know. I guess the bigger you get, the more [expletive] beef comes with it cuz like sounds like so much [expletive] drama. There’s that. Like it’s like a Snoop Dogg [expletive] song. So much drama in LBC. So the more people the more people that

you bring around you, the more you put yourself at risk of situations going left, you know what I mean? Like and for me, I’m a person who likes to build community. I like to help other people find their confidence. I like to see people find their success. And with that, which is why iheartbw.com was built in the first place. It was built to help BBWs be seen in places like Exotica and AVN and just different spaces in the adult entertainment industry that have for a very long time ignored and not

provided a space for BBWs. And there’s a common misconception for people in the industry that they have to. They do not. Nobody has to hire you. Nobody has to give you an award. Nobody has to do anything. It is earned. But you earn it by building a community and letting people see that, you know, we are more powerful in numbers. Which is why I did iHeart BBW in the first place. Is like, yeah, I can do stuff, but my career is pretty much over. You know what I mean? Like I’ve been in this 21 almost 21

years. Like I’m good. So the idea was that I would create this community or build this community and we would build it together. And it’s been very effective because now there’s the curvy BBW fashion show at Exotica and there’s booth spaces and like you’re seeing more BBW presence on a professional basis at these shows. And that was the goal. That’s always been the goal is to like set up the foundation and whether we were doing it together or you started, you know, taking from the things that we were

doing and then doing something on your own. The fact of the matter is I want there to be, you know, an entire BBW section at Exotica or AVN or XBiz or wherever. You know what I mean? like I just want there to be more BBW representation. And now I’m starting to reach out to a broader audience cuz I feel like I’ve kind of boxed myself into BBW. And while I will always have a place in my heart and a passion for the BBW community, I think that there’s like me being middle-aged, that’s another group of

people that are highly ignored and unrecognized in our industry. And I want them to because you know we have our own set of problems like perry menopause and menopause and you know being in an industry where we are showcasing our bodies and using our bodies as our tools to make money when you’re going through hot flashes and all the stuff that happens in menopause and pmenopause. Like no one’s talking about that. No one’s talking about how, you know, you’re just trying to function and you

wake up and it’s one of those days where you’re just like, “Fuck,” you know, and and people are like, “Oh, she was horrible on set.” Like, [expletive] do you know what I’m going through inside? You know, so I think that’s just I I think I have a purpose in this world. And that’s what I learned last year is, you know, I I’m trying not to take things personal and not let things hurt my feelings, but I’m human and I’m a woman, so it happens, you know, and

I’m menopausal, permenopausal or menopausal, whatever. I don’t even know what stage I’m at, but you know, things hurt my [expletive] feelings. Sometimes I wake up and I just cry for no reason. And I I’m like, dude, my whole life I was not a crier. And now all of a sudden I’m like watching TMZ and they’re talking about Justin Bieber. And I’m like, “Oh god, poor Justin.” You know, and people are my husband’s like, “What the [expletive] Are you okay?” And he thinks something’s wrong with me.

And I’m like, “I don’t even know why I’m crying.” You know, sounds horrible. I mean, it’s life though, right? Yeah. But I know your pro I know what your problem is. What is it? Your problem is you’re trying you’re trying to help people and for some reason like I don’t know it it people [expletive] other people like take not take offense but like are maybe threatened by it or like I don’t know because you you know what I mean like because that that seems to be like

I mean I don’t know you or anything but that seems to be like you know like you’re [expletive] like you always hear like you know like people that are trying to like do good or help people or [expletive] like that. There’s [expletive] people that are angry about that. Like really angry. Why? I don’t know. But I can tell you what it is. Shitty people don’t know why people do good things because they’re shitty. It’s hard for them to wrap their head around that you could be wanting to

do good things for people because they’re shitty. and they know that they approach things from a selfish and uh manipulative way. So, anybody who thinks that like I feel like there’s a lot of things out there that are wonderful resources and you know, if someone’s out there trying to do good things, by all means, and some of those people have made mistakes, you know what I mean? Like I from my experience, I can now say, you know, there’s a couple of people that I’ve had some issues with in

the past that since then look like they’re doing much better. They’re making better choices. They’re treating people better and they are trying to do things in the community that I’m like, “Okay, okay, I get it.” Did they once make some very poor decisions? Absolutely. Did I disagree with them on a lot of things at one time? Yes, I did. But the other part of that is that I’m also not trying to like stop them from doing what they’re doing. You know, people and and it’s a really tough space

to be in because of the intimacy of what we do. You know, like one of the big issues is consent and you

know, being on a set where sex is taking place or being in a in an environment, a hypersexual environment where you’re collaborating with someone or you’re even on camp. It’s a it’s a very sensitive space because you are in someone’s sexual intimate space. And so it’s it’s things can take a turn without you even realizing it. And I think that it it add it’s an added element to our industry

that a lot of people don’t take into consideration, especially going to conventions where, you know, everyone thinks that just because titties are out or people are pretty much naked that it’s okay to go and slap some booties or it’s okay to just grab someone’s titties or it’s okay to just put your arm around them. And it’s like, no, you still need to ask for consent. Just because we’re in a hypersexual environment doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to just do what

you want to do and I’m supposed to be okay with it and smile and act like we’re having a good time. While some people may be okay with that and that’s totally at their discretion, there are other people it is not okay. That happens. It does. Really? Oh my gosh. Go if you’ve never been to a con a convention or a convention. H. And sadly, it happens even with other women, you know? It’s just like, think of it like this. Think of it like adult Chuck-E-Cheese. When kids get into

Chuck-E-Cheese, they just go [expletive] crazy, right? They jump on each other in the ball pit. They don’t listen to what anybody’s telling them to do cuz they’re at [expletive] Chuck-E-Cheese, right? They’re just off the [expletive] chain and unhinged. Think of it for adults in a hypersexual environment. That’s basically what happens. Now, it’s not that extreme always. So, I’m just kind of giving building it up so that you understand the environment and how kids when they get to Chuck-E-Cheese, they’re not there

to listen to their parents cuz oftent times their parents take them because Chuck-E-Cheese babysits them and parents can be parents with other parents and the kids just go do what they do and until somebody cries or comes and says so and so hit so and so or something happened, the parents are oblivious to what’s happening. So the kids can do whatever the [expletive] they want to do in this, you know, child space. So you think of that at these adult expose. And so the patrons that come in are overwhelmed with so

much access to the things that they’ve seen on the internet to the people that they’ve been admiring on the internet or, you know, daily masturbating to or whatever it is that they do. And now they get to be in the presence of these people and they they forget that we’re humans and they for you know because even in our own industry with other performers I’ve had to be like yo like you know there’s there’s been times where you know um male performers will pick up other models and hug them and

kiss them on the cheek and do all these things and I’m like that might be cool for them but I’m not okay with that. It makes me highly uncomfortable. I don’t even know you. And for whatever reason, you know, and I get it. Some of these people, they’re cool off camera and you know, but just because she’s

okay with it doesn’t mean that I’m okay with it. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, definitely. First of all, don’t pick me up because I’m old and my bladder is

weak. So, I may pee on you. Warning. But second of all, I I don’t feel comfortable with that because, you know, that’s not my life anymore. Like maybe before I met my partner, I was cool with it. You know, I didn’t mind, you know, being flirtatious at the shows, but you know, my life has changed since then. And there’s somebody in the background who got a problem with it and, you know, and it makes me uncomfortable because I know that it makes him uncomfortable. So, it’s like,

you know, respect. So, anyways, you’re like, “Fuck, has it been two hours already?” Oh, [expletive] It has. Whoops. All right. Real quick, but we’re good. We can still talk. You can have me for as long as you want. Well, I was curious because you said you’re going to uh Exotica Chicago. Yeah. What? Tomorrow? No, that’s next week. Next week. Next week. All right. Yeah. The 11th through the 13th. All right. So, you’re going to be getting a [expletive] boundaries are going to be

crossed. No, I think with me um how people know. I don’t think that they know. I think that I don’t know. I just kind of avoid the I I try to avoid those situations. I have since, you know, been very adamant about like, you know, I’ve got a partner like, you know, I don’t know. It could happen. I’ll let you know. Uh, we could do a follow-up a definitely. Yeah. Uh, interview. Yeah. Yeah. Plus, I I got I got a lot of [expletive] I got so many more questions, but Yeah, cuz I got [expletive] No, keep

asking. I’m here. You got to go. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, see, I should have told you what time it was. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. I know. I [expletive] I wasn’t paying attention, man. You got so many [expletive] Like, god damn. I’ve got so many stories and so much to share. So interesting. Oh, one thing I I do want to ask is like cuz I like like you got so much going on. Yep. So much going on now your [expletive] podcast cuz like is it on Twitter or because I was trying because I was watching on Twitter

and every like where’s your show at? So it’s on YouTube predominantly. It is on YouTube. It is on YouTube. Um, so it’s really kind of dysfunctional right now and chaotic. I really haven’t I’ve been entering back into, you know, like I said, 2024 was a year of healing for me, so I was very minimal on social media. Um, I didn’t do anything podcast wise or iHeart BBW throughout 2024 for the most part. Um, so things are I’m still trying to like figure out what how I want to do

this because I have to do it differently. I know that I have to do it differently because the way that I did things before clearly was ineffective and caused a lot of problems that I don’t want to repeat. You know what I mean? For a variety of reasons. One, you know, obviously it’s unsuccessful. Who wants to keep making the same mistake twice? Secondly, um I realized that, you know, the decisions that I was making and my lack of leadership led to some problems and so I want to make sure

that I go about things better this time. So, as I navigate that space, I’m still trying to create content and keep the podcast alive. So, I do Witchie Wednesdays at 1000 p.m. on um Eastern on YouTube, but it also goes out to Facebook and Twitter because I’m on Reream, too. So, it goes out to other platforms at the same time, but predominantly my my community is on I I’m trying to build on YouTube. Um, but I’m also going to take that and put it on Spotify so that there is an audio

version on Spotify as well. Um, I’m also working on my podcast, Midlife Mentor. And essentially, I’m going to be talking about my life experience as a midlife woman, a midlife plus-sized woman, and a midlife plus-sized woman as a sex worker. So, that’s what I want to hear about cuz that’s [expletive] that’s I mean, [expletive] especially you’ve been doing it for so long and everything like it’s so interesting. Um, it is interesting. You’ve seen you’ve you’ve seen it all from the

beginning to like, you know. Yeah, I love what I do. Like that’s the thing like when people are like, “God, she’ll never go away.” Um, I have a passion for what I do. I I’ve created a a life for myself and a a a business that, you know, the things that I’m working on are solely designed to share my story because maybe there’s somebody out there who who’s experiencing something similar and doesn’t feel supported or, you know, has questions. Like, that’s really why I

do it for the other performers. Like, I’m not doing it for them. I would like to help other performers. That’s why I’ve done the coaching and the consultation and the mentorships is, you know, I want to help you build your business and and let you reach levels of success because like I was saying before, I want to build this community and and be supportive from the background. I would love for somebody like my idea from iheartbw.com before was that I was going to build it up and then somebody was going to become the

face of the of the community or multiple people could have became the face of the community and I was going to fall to the background and just be somebody who did the administrative work and kept the website up and was looking for more opportunities for BBWs, but I really wanted to just kind of fall to the background. Unfortunately, what happens is when you’re doing things like this, somebody has to be the face and it’s easier for me to be the face because then I can use my own content. I can

create content. I can do all those things and no one’s going to tell me you got to take that down because I don’t authorize for you to use it anymore. You know what I’m saying? So, it’s easier for me to just do it. And then not only that, but I can rely on myself. If I ask somebody else to do it, you know, it’s not always a reliable situation. they, you know, may not feel like they want to continue to do it because they don’t think that they’re getting anything out of it.

So, you know, my goal is to create the throne or or to not create the throne, but to like give up the

throne so somebody else can take that [expletive] and be the next queen of BBW. I would love that. I would even be like, “Yo, take the domains, take the whole [expletive] brand and be the queen of BBW.” and I just be, you know, the midlife mentor. That’s my goals. That that’s what I wanted. But, you know, unfortunately, my interpersonal skills are not as sharp. Like, let’s just be real when it

comes to working with people. Like, I just, you know, I’m an Aquarius, so Hey, me, too. Yeah. When’s your birthday? February 16th. I’m February 1st. Ah, first I’m the first of the month. So, grab your checks and come on, baby. So, yeah. I I honestly I that that’s always been my goal. I have iHeart BBW magazine. The fourth issue is coming out. Uh, matter of fact, next week at Chicago Exotica, I’ve got the curvy BBW fashion show. So, if you are any size, I know that the title says curvy BBW. That

is so that BBWs can get some recognition, but we are not I am not size discriminatory. So, I’ve had people that are not technically BBW. I’m not I don’t have a scale at the stage and make you get on that [expletive] and say, “You get on the stage and you know, I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re trans. I don’t care if you’re gay. I don’t care how you identify. I don’t care about any of that [expletive] All people deserve recognition and all people deserve to make it on stage

with us. And so if you are interested, please reach out to me. I feel like the world is discriminatory and hateful and mean already. This is just a I don’t care if you’re in a [expletive] wheelchair. Get on that [expletive] You can be on stilts and [expletive] or or or what they call them things. Um, I want to say still crutches. Crutches. I’m trying to think of crutches. I don’t give a [expletive] You know what I’m saying? And I feel like beauty is is one of those things that, you know, beauty is not something that has

like one description. It doesn’t have one definition. So, I just want to say that the world is a mean place. So, I I’m trying to create opportunities and recognition for people of all spaces. So, there you go. Oh, that’s [expletive] got the magazine. I’ve got the website. Um, we’ve got our YouTube channel, iHeart BBW. Um, you can follow us on social media, iHeart BBWOM. We’re on everything on Tik Tok. It’s iheartbwoom3. Links are in the description. So yeah. Yeah. Links are in the description.

Definitely [expletive] got to check. Yeah, you got to check her [expletive] out. She because when I was [expletive] like checking your [expletive] out and everything like it was like a [expletive] rabbit hole because you you do so much. I was like, “Whoa, wait a minute. Wait. Okay. All right. Here’s I hire BBW.com.” Okay. All right. Wait. What’s this? Okay. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What’s this? What? Wait. Wait a minute. Like all over the place. I was like, what the [expletive] I’ve got band club university.

I’ve got I’ve got proho.com. I’ve got all kinds of stuff. Yeah, it’s [expletive] great, man. Yeah. I’ve got BBWIA I’m working on. So, it’s basically the Wikipedia of BBW content creators. I was going to make it adult entertainment, but I feel like, you know, I really want to break the wall between adult entertainers and content creators because I think that to to categorize it is really unfair. But, you know, we’ll see how that

works. A lot of people are like, “Oh, you got a only

fans. I don’t want to be associated with you.” like then don’t cuz I’m just monetizing my content that’s all. The [expletive] people People People are [expletive] weird man. Just so much [expletive] They are weird. I personally I mean I can’t really say what I would be like what I would have been like before the industry. And maybe I felt some kind of way too. Who knows? Um, but for many people their story in adult entertainment is very dark and not everybody has a positive experience. For

me, it saved my life. It saved my career. I haven’t had to work for a company in 21 years. So, you know, and that’s that’s what I want to share with people is like your story is what you write for it. And there going to be things that you can’t control. There’s going to be things that you can’t predict. Life is going to life you. It’s going to happen. But it’s not, you know, it’s like even with the drama that I experienced, like that’s not what I want my story to be about. I don’t want it to

be about the drama and the beef and the situations that I’ve had with people. What I want it to be about is that I could have easily faded to the background and succumb to my fears and been like, how do I reenter this space after all the things that happened? And instead, I said, “Fuck that [expletive] I’m coming back. I worked too [expletive] hard to just walk away.” And that’s what I want my story and my legacy to be about is that you too can come back from whatever it is hopefully.

You know, some things are pretty serious, but I’m saying like, you know, mental health issues, we all go through them. I have dark days. I have light days. You know what I mean? And that’s what I want my story to be about is that you can do it. you can do it. I was 30 years old when I entered into this industry. I was not young and you know I I was I was a middle-aged woman already so to speak you know so I want my story to be about survival and about strength and you know successes but through those successes I

had a lot of failures and you know you can do it. You can do it if you put your mind to it and you believe in yourself and you just get back up and you dust your knees off and you get the dirt off and you know reapproach, restrategize, rebrand, do what you got to do and you come back and you do it again and you might fall and fail, but you you get back up and you you figure out what you did wrong and you do it again and you just keep doing that until you find what works for you. And sometimes when it

comes to camming, you got to find your niche. You got to find your what makes you different than everyone else. You got to find what your fans are looking for from you that you feel comfortable with and let that be your story and your legacy. And um don’t let anybody else tell the story for you. Don’t let them create the narrative and let everybody believe what other people say because only you can tell your story. I’m not even a cam girl and you’re [expletive] like hyping me up. Like I’m

getting [expletive] hyped to do my other [expletive] Like dude, like seriously. But that’s what I I feel like that’s what I’m here for. I feel like, you know, when I when I was going through this this period of who the [expletive] am I and why am I here and why do I care about the adult industry? Like for me, I realized that the adult industry, I had let my persona. Platinum [expletive] took over and Carrie was nowhere to be seen. You know what I mean? I wasn’t even being authentic because Platinum [expletive] had took over and

Platinum [expletive] is more ambitious than Carrie. And so I had to really find some balance last year and be like, “Nah, that’s not that’s not really what I’m trying to do.” And you know, Carrie had to put Platinum in check like, “Yo, [expletive] sit the [expletive] back. Sit down.” Like that’s not that’s not part of what we’re trying to do. So I hear you. I see you. I recognize you. But [expletive] shut the [expletive] up and sit the [expletive] down. And that’s hard to do because, you know, it

it’s like you see all these stories about people that get into Hollywood, you know, they get so addicted to the fame, they get so addicted to the to the things that, you know, like being popular and, you know, all of that. Like they get addicted to those things. And I feel like my platinum persona really got consumed with, you know, reaching the top. And even though I was proud of the fact that I wasn’t really stepping on people to get to the top, there were other things that I said and

did that weren’t exactly the healthiest and the most effective and they weren’t the best. So Carrie had to step in and be like, “No, [expletive] We’ve worked too hard to get here and you are off track.” So that’s where I’m at now is like I want to hype people up. I want people to realize that there are bad things that happen in the world. There’s bad things that happen in this industry, but there’s also some really great things. I’m able to work outside of this

industry because I learned social media, because I learned websites, because I learned how to video, because I learned how to edit, because I learned social media uh management, because I learned digital marketing. Like all of the things that I learned through the adult industry have given me the skills and the ability to work as an entrepreneur outside of the adult entertainment industry. When you start like wrapping your head around I’m not just a sex worker and you really see the potential

and you realize like what a badass person you are. That’s what I want to do. I want to hype you up and make you like just really see what you’re capable of. So, I don’t know what you got to do next, but you’re going to kill that [expletive] I hope everyone takes that and like [expletive] hears what you just said cuz that’s that’s really well said. Thank you. And it [expletive] hypes me up. So, if it’s not hyping anyone else up, I don’t know. They better [expletive] relisten to what you just said cuz it’s hyping me

up. I mean, seriously, I’m ready. [expletive] I’m not for everybody. I get it. I get it. My sheer existence pisses people off sometimes, but it is what it is. That’s a you problem, not a me problem. So, well, like, do

what? Hey, like Easy said, I say, [expletive] them. That’s it. You know, leave it at that. That’s definitely from the word the the words of a of a wisdom or wise person. Yes, [expletive] them. Like, I’m not I can’t live for everyone else. It’s like, you know, I’m a Gen Xer and we live in times

where people are ultra sensitive. They feel the need to like pigeon hole everything and everything needs to have a diagnosis and everything needs to be categorized. And I’m just like, I’m from Gen X. You just said what the [expletive] you said and you just kept it pushing. So people now are pretty sensitive. But you know what? Like you said, [expletive] them. I can’t I I do my best to be as to deliver the information and to deliver the knowledge in a way that’s understanding to most, but I’m sure

there’s people out there that, you know, and but like you said, do not have an open mind. They don’t have an open mind. That’s it. Like just open your mind up to [expletive] like you’re not like, you know, like you said earlier, we’re not perfect. We don’t [expletive] know everything. Like I I always like I don’t like you know like you see stupid people like you know a stupid person when you see a stupid person or hear a stupid person but like you know it’ be like all right whatever with that but like I

don’t [expletive] know everything. I don’t [expletive] like I love information. I love learning things like just open your mind to [expletive] You might [expletive] you know what I mean? like you might [expletive] you know, like you might just hear like hearing what you just said like that [expletive] like hyped me up to do some other [expletive] and you know so I want to [expletive] do it you know I’m going to say this after the things that I went through over the the course of the last few years it was not easy to re-enter

into this space it was very difficult it’s hard when you know that people are talking [expletive] you know it’s hard when you hurt people you know it’s hard when you have to face your your fuckups. You know, it’s like going to someone like it’s like going to your partner after you cheated and having that conversation where the partner’s going to tell you how that you know, like you know, they’re going to tell you that you [expletive] up. You know, they’re going to tell you how much it hurt them. It’s not

an easy conversation to have. So, I I’m sharing this with you because it’s not easy to come back and face what what could possibly, you know, and and there have been things that have been said online that I’m just like, eh, whatever, you know, because I feel like this the point of why I’m saying this is that you can either approach things from a a point of positivity where you’re trying to like fix something or you can you’re either a part of the problem or you’re a part of the solution.

If you’re perpetually talking about negative things or you’re approaching things from a negative perspective, then you can’t expect positive results. You just can’t. It’s like continuously pouring oil into water and expecting to have, you know, crystal clear water. Like, it’s not going to happen. But if you go into that and you do your best to put positive water into the cup, then the likeliness that oil will be in there is a lot less likely because you’re trying to be positive. And that’s

basically the message that I’m sending is like it’s not easy. It’s, you know, I’m totally anxious about going to Chicago. I know that there are people there that I’m not looking forward to seeing, but at the same time, you know, I’m a I’m a badass [expletive] and I refuse to be silenced. I refuse to let anybody steal my light and I’m just going to keep shining because I know that internally I have good intentions and I know that I mean to do well and even though sometimes that doesn’t always come

across the right way or it gets mixed up in other things then you know I’m just going to learn from my mistakes and do better going forward. So that’s the that’s the point. So, get hyped up. Get your ass on cam. Do what you got to do. Make your movie. Whatever project you’re working on, do it. And um at least you could say you tried. At least you could say you tried. And that’s what’s happening now. It’s like I may decide in a few weeks after all these things that, you know, I maybe

this isn’t for me anymore. It could happen. Or I could be like, you know what? I’m doing what I love to do and I’m helping. Even if it’s just one person out there, I’m doing what I love to do and that’s what’s important. So, with that being said, I’m gonna let you go do whatever it is that you’re doing because I got some food waiting for me. And I don’t know if you know, but I like to eat. It might not be evident by just looking at me, but I love to eat. And so, um,

and I’ve talked long enough. Well, go for me on the internet. Get your grub on. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Absolutely. Thank you for being here. This was great. Absolutely. All right. We’ll talk soon. Ah, yes. Cam Girl Diaries. Yeah. Thanks for watching. Be sure to follow us on our social media below. And if you like our content, become a YouTube member or join our Patreon to get special perks like membersonly videos and live streams, insider info, our private Discord, and much more. See you

fly honeys on the next video.