Cam Girl Crash Course Guide to Thriving as a Cam Model in 2026

Intro

So, what changed?

The last year, I spent learning how to work for myself. I started learning how to get comfortable in front of the camera. I started learning how to get comfortable engaging with my customers. I started learning how to take care of myself in this industry.

One thing I found early on was that my girlfriend, who I worked with, eventually started believing me. She would want to just keep trucking no matter what happened. She’d say, “We’ve got to make our money.”

I’d be like, “No, no, no. Something happened. The mood’s all off now. We’re going to go on a break.”

Whether it’s 30 minutes or an hour, we’re going to watch some TV, we’re going to snuggle, and then when we come back, we’re going to be doing way better. The energy has to be there.

Once you realize, “My mental is fucked right now. I need a break,” you’ve got to take the break and take care of yourself. When you are the product, you have to maintain the product.

When I started, I had no experience with video editing, photo editing, videotaping, or even photographing myself, honestly. I’m really not one to take many nudes or anything like that, so I’ve never really had a backlog of content.

It’s always been an effort to do photo shoots. Every one of those steps and pieces felt overwhelming, but I’d slowly worked on them over the course of the last year. In the last few weeks, it finally all started coming together.

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1. She Grew Her OnlyFans in 2 Weeks

Guest: Violet Kennedy

I felt guilty because I’d literally posted nothing on my OnlyFans for four or five months or something like that. Then suddenly I was getting subscribers because I was on my girlfriend’s account.

I was like, “Well, shit. I have these four subscribers. They paid for this. I should give them something.”

I felt bad. Once I started posting every day, it forced me to get more creative.

I was like, “Okay, I guess I’ll learn how to make an Instagram Reel.”

Some of my early ones are still cringy. I didn’t really understand the format, but I forced myself to do it once, usually by following a trend. Then you keep doing another one, and another one, and eventually you think, “Well, this would be kind of a fun idea.”

Since you’d already done all the dumb shit beforehand, you actually have some know-how about how to cut together what you want to do.

You’re getting more ideas, your personality comes out more, and you’re learning what works.

I would say that in the last two weeks, it’s honestly kind of overwhelming. I went from four subscribers to well over 70 in two weeks.

And that’s not counting Fansly, which I had just finally gotten approved for and was starting to grow.

I’m also working on growing my Instagram and Twitter, and eventually I’m going to focus on TikTok and video content like that. I’m like, “I’ll get around to it. I’ll figure that out eventually.”

I met some other people online who were doing similar stuff and decided to take an impromptu trip to go visit one of them. That’s what I’m doing this week.

Another creator and I are working together, and we’ve made some incredible content. I learned how to edit it together, and now I’m selling the videos.

We made 15-minute videos together that I edited and made teasers for, and they’re selling great.

I’m like, “Oh, shit. I can fucking do this. Let’s go.”

It’s more fun now, too, because I still don’t have to do something just because somebody asks me to. I can turn people down if I don’t want to do something. If I don’t want to do something, I’m just going to say no. I don’t care.

On Reddit, I started refusing to post in certain subreddits that I thought were disrespectful or reductionist, and that’s worked out okay.

When I started, I felt like I was changing myself for my audience. That was really reductionist and dehumanizing.

Now I’m like, “No. I’m just going to be me.”

I’m building an audience that actually likes my energy. That allows me to do things that are my own and a little off the walls.

Half the time on OnlyFans, I’m talking to my fans about One Piece, video games, and stuff like that. I’ll probably open a Discord channel soon so we can do watch parties or play video games together.

So, again, it all came together.

You had all that experience, and then the experience came in along with your mental state.

Basically, you just said, “Fuck it. I’m just going to be me.”

And people responded.

It’s easy to simplify it that way, but getting to that point takes a lot of work.

It’s common now for people to say, “Sex work is work,” but I still don’t think they really understand what the work is.

Most of my time is spent networking, editing, marketing, and keeping up with my online presence and my brand. I really only need to shoot video maybe once a week for about two hours.

People don’t realize that the majority of your time is doing exactly that: marketing, learning how to edit videos, and learning the platform.

You have to learn each platform.

I’m mostly active on Reddit, Instagram, and Twitter, but honestly, I put most of my energy into Reddit because I’m a longtime Reddit user and I understand it.

Reddit is probably the most esoteric and difficult social media platform to figure out how to get started with. I was lucky because I already knew it.

One thing I recommend is taking a poll once you start seeing people come in. I put up a poll and pinned it to figure out where people were coming from.

For me, it was mostly Reddit, along with a few people from back in my Chaturbate days.

I’d probably like to go back to Chaturbate, too. I’ve got some fun ideas for it. I just have to get my setup going again.

My main platform right now is OnlyFans, but I do want to get back to streaming because what I really thrive on is that very sociable, personable, girl-next-door vibe.

My favorite part is interacting with the people who like me. My best times on Chaturbate were always when we were just talking.

What I probably really want to do is start doing streams directly to my OnlyFans because it gives me a lot more flexibility.

My girlfriend and I used to play Bloodborne when we were bored on Chaturbate, but we couldn’t stream it because you can’t do that on Chaturbate.

People wanted to see it, though. So I thought, “Why don’t I just stream on Chaturbate for a couple of hours and then have an after-show where they can hang out with me while I game or do whatever on OnlyFans?”

I could treat Chaturbate as something I do once or maybe twice a week to meet new people and draw them in.

Then the real-time hanging out, getting more creative, and having fun with a smaller community that’s already invested could happen on my personal platform.

So, wait a minute. You said that in the last two weeks everything blew up, and that’s on OnlyFans, right?

That’s on OnlyFans right now.

So what was it? Was there a certain post that started everything?

I don’t really know exactly what the specific post was. I think, weirdly enough, it was more of my safe-for-work stuff on Reddit.

I started posting in more of the porn subreddits. I did okay, but it’s tricky because I don’t want to overwhelm those spaces with sex work.

A lot of transgender beauty subreddits and things like that started accelerating for me. I started posting there, and that’s really when I saw things picking up.

It was cutesy pictures of me, just looking cute and fun and having a nice time, with fun outfits on Reddit.

That brought people over to my OnlyFans because people wanted to see more of me. They would go to my Reddit profile and then see the NSFW stuff.

They’d be like, “Oh my gosh.”

The more I leaned into being fun and sexy at the same time, the more success I saw.

The more I do things that are me having fun, the better I’m doing.

So I’m starting to get goofier with it.

Once I get home, I want to start working on bookshelf videos, just going through all my bookshelves and nerding out about them.

I’ve already teased that to people, and they’re excited to see it.

I might do a safe-for-work version and then another version where I’m in it with less clothes.

At the end of the day, that seems to be what’s working for me.

As long as the sex part is fun for me, I’m going to keep doing it. But I could easily see a point where I’m just doing YouTube and Twitch and stuff like that and doing just fine.

Do you ever feel like, “Man, I hope they don’t think I’m faking this,” because you’re trying to be genuine?

Yeah, it crosses my mind.

I tried to pretend a lot more when I first started. I wanted to have more of a persona, but I found that it just really doesn’t work for me.

There are a few elements of my life that I try to keep just to myself, just to keep my work life separate.

Once people actually pay you and go to OnlyFans or pay you on Chaturbate, they kind of know what’s going on.

It pains me because I really want to talk to everyone, but at a certain point, if you’re not paying me or catching my interest, I’m not going to spend all my time talking to you.

If you message me on Reddit and you get my interest, I’ll talk to you.

It’s the people who aren’t paying who sometimes think that’s something more.

People will treat it like dating.

I’ve had to tell people, “Can I be your boyfriend? Can I take you on a date?”

I’m like, “No. What are you doing trying to matchmake on porn subreddits? This isn’t a dating site. I’m trying to make money. This is my job, motherfucker.”

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2. My Viral Success Story

Guest: Violet Kennedy

So, how did you build such a strong following on your Instagram?

That’s a loaded question.

I was thinking about this one last night, and I don’t think I can give you one straight answer.

I feel like that’s what we want a lot of the time. We want one straight answer that says, “This is how I did it.”

But it doesn’t really work that way.

They come in chunks. It’s trial and error.

Originally, I started creating content two years ago, a little bit after my 19th birthday. I decided I was going to take it seriously.

I thought, “I’m going to do it. I’m going to be the next Sophie Rain.”

But content wasn’t working for me.

I tried OnlyFans, and it wasn’t working for me. So I ended up trying Fansly because I could actually understand how to work the platform.

But the content wasn’t making me any money.

It wasn’t what I expected it to be.

I started looking into webcamming because I knew webcamming was more like virtual stripping. You get your money right then and there. What you make on stream is what you’re going to make.

With content, it’s different because it’s clearly based on whether you go viral.

I thought it sounded a lot better, and I figured I wouldn’t mind doing both.

So I started webcamming.

I tried Chaturbate first. Chaturbate was pretty cool and is kind of how I got my footing in how camming works.

I watched so many girls.

Then I ended up migrating to Fanbase.

When I migrated to Fanbase, I probably didn’t even have 300 followers.

I had a couple of followers on my personal, family-friendly page, maybe around a thousand, but I had created a separate page.

I decided to start from the bottom.

That’s all right. That’s all you need to do.

Grassroots.

Fanbase is an app. It’s kind of like Clapper.

Have you heard of Clapper?

I love Clapper, actually.

Clapper is basically a knockoff TikTok. It’s like a freaky, NSFW TikTok.

It’s a primitive TikTok, but it’s a good tool.

I also heard about Streamate.

Streamate is like Chaturbate, but a little less of a clusterfuck than Chaturbate.

Anyway, I started my Fanbase, and it went great because I had somebody to walk me through how to do it.

Basically, you bring in people from other sources like Instagram, Snapchat, or whatever. They join the group, stay in the group, and you can do specific actions just like a regular cam session.

Fanbase was so easy for me to understand because it was an app.

Most NSFW platforms have limitations, especially with Apple, but Fanbase is a private app where you need a specific link to get in.

The link only lasts 24 hours, so I put it in my Beacons.

I think I’m at around 3,500 people there now. Don’t quote me on that, though.

I started with about 300 people.

I got my Fanbase going, and I made my first thousand dollars.

Before that, I spent about two months watching every YouTube video I could.

I watched you guys, too.

I honestly didn’t see any real results until I stayed consistent for an entire month.

That’s when I started seeing real money.

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3. How to Start as a Cam Model

Guest: Tianna Bands

I wish somebody had told me to stick in there.

People definitely told me that, but I wish I’d really understood it.

I wish I didn’t just take it as regular advice, like the stuff you see in YouTube previews and ads saying, “Go do this and you’ll make a million dollars.”

I wish I genuinely believed in myself a little bit more at first.

But you do have to bump your head.

I spent a lot of time researching.

At the beginning, do as much research as possible. Watch more videos than you’ll ever need.

I won’t tell people to buy anybody’s course because all the information you need is free.

Don’t buy it. Don’t waste your money.

I bought a couple of courses and wasted my money.

I also tried to make a couple of courses myself, and I understand why people do it, but when you’re first starting out, the information they give you can be overwhelming.

They give you information on how to start, but not necessarily how to actually do it.

I understand now that I’m a little bit bigger why there’s not one straightforward answer.

A lot of my followers did come from the fact that I went viral, but that’s a one-in-a-million type of thing. It doesn’t happen every day.

A lot of the time, you’re not going to go viral.

That’s just the truth.

If you’re not prepared to stick with it, this might not be for you.

You have to keep going.

It’s one thing to go viral and suddenly get a lot of people. It’s another thing to actually build something from that.

You have regulars. You’re building things up.

You can go viral, but then what do you do afterward?

That’s important.

Learning how to convert those followers into money is important because followers don’t mean anything if you don’t know how to turn them into currency.

When I see a new like or follower, I’m not thinking about the like itself. I’m thinking about conversion rates.

I’m looking at clicks. I’m trying to see how many people click the link.

It’s not just about going viral.

It’s two years of hard work and dedication.

Stay consistent.

That’s my biggest thing.

Also, network.

Don’t be scared to talk to people.

Talking to people definitely helps because it gives you other opinions.

For the longest time, I had fans who eventually became friends.

I had one guy who had his own poly thing going on and was more of an alternative guy.

I never felt weird showing him clips because I knew he wasn’t judging me and he liked the same kind of things I did.

From a male perspective, a lot of the time, if you’re a woman, you need to see things outside of the male gaze.

If you have a boyfriend or guy friend who you feel comfortable having look at your content, and you don’t have an agency or anything, those outside opinions can give you genuine information.

You just have to learn not to take it personally.

I used to be horrible and use filters on everything.

He would say, “Why the fuck are you using the filters? It’s lowering your content quality. Get rid of it.”

When I got rid of the filters, it helped my analytics. I actually started doing better.

A lot of times, we take good constructive criticism, but sometimes we also overthink things.

Overthinking can stop us from growing.

Listening to people and actually talking to my community helped me grow.

I am where I am now because of them.

You’ve got to listen to what your people like, especially if you’re niche-based.

Asking questions is so important.

And research is important, too.

I’m a big research person.

I love research.

And being a student while you’re doing this is important as well.

It’s different because some of the girls we’ve had on the podcast do this as their full-time job.

When you’re working or in school, you have to understand that you don’t always have time to go live and sit there for hours.

Before I started school, I could go live for six hours, maybe even 12 hours.

I think 12 hours was the longest I ever did.

Now I’d struggle to find 30 minutes to go live because I’m so busy.

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4. Cam Girl Marketing Advice

Guest: Tianna Bands

What’s your main platform?

I’d say my main platform is OnlyFans.

Lately, a lot of my stuff has been direct sales from clients I’ve built relationships with.

I have their numbers.

Literally, people who have tipped me large amounts.

I was telling my friend or my boyfriend about this. I’ve saved everyone who has tipped me a large amount in my phone with a dollar sign next to their name.

Now, when I search for the dollar sign, I’ve got a whole list.

Then I’ll message them directly when I’ve got new content.

I used to use Snapchat for this because it was a good platform for mass-DMing people and sending things to a bunch of contacts.

Unfortunately, you can get device-banned.

I have a new Snapchat, but it requires me to use another device, and I’m basically done with it.

Now I just get people on my direct line.

If I don’t want them to have my direct phone number, I’ll give them my free texting app phone number.

It appears to be a real number, but I don’t get all the notifications.

I can also hide alerts from people if I need to.

So you give these people your number because they’ve spent a lot of money?

Yes.

I want to keep up with those people.

Are they always hitting you up?

No. I’ll pretty much be clear about the boundaries.

Unless you’re tipping, don’t use my direct line. I’m a blunt person like that, and they know I’m about my money.

I guess you have to be pretty blunt to do this.

Honestly, I do it because I know I can always block somebody.

But I don’t just give everybody my number.

It’s easier for me now with the Snapchat ban and everything.

I’ll use the free texting app, or I’ll use my real number for my highest-value customers.

You have to be direct and blunt with them. Otherwise, your phone would be dinging all day.

Something like that isn’t for somebody who’s very submissive about their boundaries.

They know the rules.

I do things a little differently. It’s what’s easy for me.

Which reminds me, I need to put some more decals on my car.

I just got a new car, and I always have my Fansly link on there just for shock value.

I get a lot of subscribers from doing that.

People can’t believe I’d actually have the balls to put it on my car.

They’re like, “Let me go see what she’s about.”

I just got the car last week, so I need to get my other sticker.

I had another idea to share with the ladies, too.

Get some stickers with your link, or even little business cards with your link, and go to a men’s coat or pants store and drop them in the pockets.

That’s marketing genius.

I’m also going to get stickers and put them on road signs.

I’m not recommending that to anybody because that’s illegal, but I’m doing it.

If there’s some way to track it, like with a special link or QR code, you could see whether it’s actually working and where people are coming from.

That would be super smart.

I sometimes do polls on my OnlyFans asking, “Where did you find me?”

I’ll put down Twitter, Instagram, and whatever else.

But that’s just a general census. It’s not definitive.

If I had a QR code on the card, it would actually track where that traffic came from.

That’s smart, too.

It’s really important to know where your people are coming from because then you can focus your energy on what’s actually working.

I hate fucking asking questions.

That’s always been my downfall.

I never ask questions.

But feedback is important.

You need to know what’s actually working.

For instance, the girl we were supposed to interview today said she had been watching this podcast before she even started.

She got a lot of knowledge from you guys and all the things you were sharing.

Then she got into the industry, and it’s been a year.

My point is, I never ask questions.

I should put it out there.

“Hey, where are you seeing the show? What are you watching it or listening to it on?”

Even with my Pervert Pete stuff, I never ask.

Ask questions.

It’s fucking important.

5. Motivation For Cam Models

Guest: OMGhBomb

I want to hype people up. I want people to realize that there are bad things that happen in the world. There are bad things that happen in this industry, but there are also some really great things.

I’m able to work outside of this industry because I learned social media. I learned websites. I learned video. I learned editing. I learned social media management. I learned digital marketing.

All of the things that I learned through the adult industry have given me the skills and ability to work as an entrepreneur outside of the adult entertainment industry.

When you start wrapping your head around, “I’m not just a sex worker,” and you really see the potential, you realize what a badass person you are.

That’s what I want to do. I want to hype you up and make you really see what you’re capable of.

I don’t know what you’ve got to do next, but you’re going to kill that shit.

I hope everyone takes that and hears what you just said because that’s really well said.

Thank you.

And it fucking hyped me up, so if it’s not hyping anyone else up, I don’t know what will.

I want people to listen to what you just said because it’s hyping me up. I’m ready to do some shit.

I’m not for everybody. I get it.

My sheer existence pisses people off sometimes, but it is what it is.

That’s a you problem, not a me problem.

Like EZ said, I say, “Fuck ’em.”

That’s it. Leave it at that.

I’m definitely not going to live for everyone else.

I’m a Gen Xer, and we live in times where people are ultra-sensitive. They feel the need to pigeonhole everything. Everything needs to have a diagnosis, and everything needs to be categorized.

I’m from Gen X. You just said what the fuck you said, and you kept pushing.

People are pretty sensitive now, but like you said, fuck them.

I do my best to deliver information and knowledge in a way that’s understandable to most people, but I’m sure there are people out there who aren’t going to like it.

They don’t have an open mind.

That’s it.

Just open your mind to shit.

We’re not perfect. We don’t fucking know everything.

I love information. I love learning things.

Just open your mind to things. You might hear something that gives you an idea for something completely different.

That’s what happened here. Hearing what you just said has me hyped up to do something else.

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6. Cam Model Branding & Persona Guide

Guest: Platinum Puzzy

After the things I’ve gone through over the course of the last few years, it was not easy to reenter this space.

It was very difficult.

It’s hard when you know people are talking shit. It’s hard when you’ve hurt people. It’s hard when you have to face your fuck-ups.

It’s like going to your partner after you cheated and having that conversation where they’re going to tell you that you fucked up and explain how much it hurt them.

It’s not an easy conversation to have.

I’m sharing this because it’s not easy to come back and face what could possibly happen.

There have been things said online where I’m just like, “Eh, whatever.”

The point of what I’m saying is that you can either approach things from a point of positivity where you’re trying to fix something, or you can be part of the problem or part of the solution.

If you’re perpetually talking about negative things or approaching things from a negative perspective, you can’t expect positive results.

It’s like continuously pouring oil into water and expecting to have crystal-clear water. It’s not going to happen.

But if you go into something and do your best to put positive energy into it, the likelihood of all that negativity taking over is a lot less.

That’s basically the message I’m sending.

It’s not easy.

I’m totally anxious about going to Chicago. I know there are people there I’m not looking forward to seeing.

But at the same time, I’m a badass bitch and I refuse to be silenced.

I refuse to let anybody steal my light.

I’m just going to keep shining because I know internally that I have good intentions and I mean to do well.

Even though sometimes things don’t always come across the right way or get mixed up in other things, I’m going to learn from my mistakes and do better going forward.

That’s the point.

Get hyped up.

Get your ass on cam. Do what you’ve got to do. Make your movie. Work on whatever project you’re working on.

Do it.

At least you can say you tried.

That’s what’s happening now. I may decide in a few weeks, after all of these things, that maybe this isn’t for me anymore.

It could happen.

Or I could say, “You know what? I’m doing what I love to do.”

And if I’m helping even just one person out there, I’m doing what I love to do.

That’s what’s important.

How Platinum Puzzy Got Her Name

I had made a screen name that had “Platinum Pussy” in it.

I thought, “I’m going to come back as Platinum Pussy. Nobody knows it’s me, so I get to be incognito.”

I left and came back as this Platinum Pussy person.

The pictures I had were a little more provocative than the ones on my regular profile, but you couldn’t see my face, so you wouldn’t know it was me.

When I started chatting, all the guys were like, “Who is this?”

I completely took the conversation from whatever they were talking about to, “We need to know who this Platinum girl is.”

I stole the attention of the entire chat.

When I had to come up with my name for the industry, I thought, “That’s the name.”

It stopped the entire chat and the dudes went crazy.

They didn’t care who I was.

I could have been a million pounds. The name made them so curious that whatever they had been arguing about before didn’t even exist anymore.

When I saw how powerful that was, I thought, “Yeah, that’s the name.”

That’s how Platinum Pussy came about.

It’s a perfect fucking name.

It’s dirty, but it’s clever.

A lot of people have speculated about the name.

It was also during the time when search engines were becoming a bigger thing, and I knew that if you put in the normal spelling with two S’s, you were going to find everything but me.

I needed a way to make myself different and stand out.

I added the Z’s.

One of my friends came up with the tagline:

“The pussy’s so good, it’ll put you to sleep. That’s why you got Z’s in your name.”

I was like, “Oh, yes. Genius.”

For people watching, if you’re in this business, whether you’re a cam girl, you have an OnlyFans page, or you’re doing something else in the adult industry, the point of this conversation is that if you’re branding yourself, getting started, or wanting to rebrand yourself, come up with a name that’s clever and an attention-grabber.

It almost doesn’t matter what you look like if the name itself is a game-stopper.

Your name is an intricate part of your brand, and people don’t realize that when they’re coming up with their names.

I’ve seen people come up with names based on celebrities or things they specialize in.

One person had a name based around Lindsay Lohan and hand jobs. It was “Handy Mandy.”

I thought, “That’s brilliant.”

That’s my advice.

When you’re coming up with your name, or if you’re not happy with your current name, rebrand.

Think of something catchy.

Think of something that’s going to capture attention.

And if you need to, rebrand.

Branding is so fucking important.

It can also be fun, depending on what you come up with, because you can build everything else around it.

I’m great at marketing.

If I had to say what has been the key to my success and the longevity of my career, I’d say it’s my ability to recreate myself.

I’m not afraid to abandon the things that don’t work for me and take on new things to see if they stick.

One of the things I will say is that I don’t normally cam under Platinum Pussy.

The reason is because the guys who come to see me usually want to talk about the time when I was shooting porn.

When I’m live on cam, I’m not there to chat about my career unless they’re spending money. Typically, they’re not. They’re just asking questions because they recognize me.

My most successful cam personality that I created is Mega MILF.

Mega MILF is the housewife next door who happened to find Chaturbate on one of her computers.

How did it get there?

It had to be the nanny.

I’m just a random housewife who got curious and jumped on Chaturbate.

Nobody knows.

I’m married to my high school sweetheart. We’ve got a house full of kids, and I’m just the housewife who cooks, cleans, and runs the family business.

My husband doesn’t spend a lot of time with me because he’s in his man cave playing Call of Duty.

I’ve got all these kids running around, and I sneak onto Chaturbate because I need some grown-woman time.

I created that because I was getting on cam and seeing no results.

I was thinking, “How can I be an OG, a legend, a trailblazer, and get on cam and not be successful?”

First of all, I wasn’t really on cam consistently.

Beyond that, the only thing people were interested in talking about was my porn career because that was attached to my name.

One day I got creative and decided to be a nobody.

It was the best thing I ever did.

I made more money camming as a nobody than I ever did as Platinum Pussy.

So let that be a lesson.

As important as branding is, so is coming up with the storyline, presentation, and character.

What made Mega MILF so popular was that I would get on cam and literally have my husband sitting next to me.

Obviously, he knew. He knew he married Platinum.

I’d be like, “Don’t tip too much.”

I’d have the Lush inside me, and I’d act like I was hiding what I was doing.

He knew the game.

He’d be like, “What are you doing? What’s wrong?”

Then every time the token noise went off, I’d be like, “Cha-ching!”

I’d act like I was playing a slot machine.

He’d say, “Why are you acting like that?”

I’d say, “Because I’m so excited that I won!”

He knew what was going on, but he found it fascinating that people were getting into the story.

They would spend so many tokens trying to get me caught.

Meanwhile, my husband would be sitting there laughing his ass off.

It was so much fucking fun.

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7. Deal With Obsessive Clients

Guest: Amber Rivers

Speaking of stalkers, do you get obsessive clients?

I’ve never had a stalker out and about trying to find me, but online, yeah. I’ve had a few that I’ve had to step away from.

I’ve had customers constantly asking, “Why aren’t you replying? Why aren’t you replying?”

You’re not paying me to reply.

I reply in my free time.

I’ve definitely had people get a little obsessive.

I just draw a line and ignore them.

They normally go away.

Luckily, nothing has gotten further than that.

If you see a guy starting to cross the line, do you put him in his place right then?

Yeah.

If they’re getting too pushy, I’ll tell them, “Look, if you want my time, you pay to chat. This isn’t a dating site. This is my job.”

I’m pretty blunt with them.

It seems like a good tactic because if you stay off that shit, they’ll pounce on you.

I’ve built up a few good friendships from this industry. There are people I trust with my life.

But when people don’t respect me, I don’t trust them.

You get a vibe about people.

If they start getting pushy, it’s a no.

I know a lot of girls who don’t deal with it early, and it just gets worse and worse.

The quicker you call the line, the quicker it’s over.

You move on.

You’ve got other shit to do.

There are still a few people who keep popping up.

They’ll make another Telegram or Twitter account. I’ll see their username and think, “I’ve already banned you three times. Go away.”

They’ll keep making other accounts just to come back and like my posts as a way in.

Sometimes they’ll message me saying, “Hey, it’s me.”

I’m like, “Yeah, I know. You’re blocked. Bye.”

I just won’t reply.

No reply is sometimes better than anything else.

If you respond to them, even if it’s to say, “I blocked you,” they’ve still gotten your attention.

That’s what they want.

They want your attention.

Maybe they’re trying to get a reaction.

A lot of guys like the reaction.

For me, it’s just a no.

I’ll ignore them and let it go away.

Most of my OnlyFans subscribers are actually pretty awesome.

Most won’t even chat.

I’ll put a message out saying hi and get maybe two responses out of around 180 subscribers.

But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Some people join because they want to look at my content and stay subscribed.

That’s okay with me.

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8. Cam Model Agencies Might Be Bad For You

Guest: Jessica Jade

One of the quotes you have on your OnlyFans says, “I’m an independent creator. No management.”

Why do you feel the need to put that?

It seems like everybody has management teams working for them.

I’m not everyone.

The reason I put that is because, in the past, I had somebody looking after my account for a little while, and they fucked me over really badly.

It was really bad.

I’m not saying all management teams are bad.

I know somebody who works for a really good one. They’re reputable, they’ve built a really good name, and they do a good job.

But I’m really connected to my brand.

Because I’m a cam model, it’s different when you’re on screen talking to fans constantly.

It’s not like these people don’t know you or haven’t built some kind of relationship with you.

A lot of my OnlyFans subscribers have seen me on cam or have an idea of who I am.

Being that connected to them, I take it really seriously when it comes to providing genuine services.

It’s me.

I’ve also got a lot of people on my OnlyFans, and I’m finding it really difficult to deal with all the messages.

I don’t always get back to people, and I feel rude about it.

At the end of the day, I can’t possibly get to everything.

I’m the worst at admin.

I’m really bad at it.

The only thing I’m considering is having an assistant, but even then, I’d be completely transparent that they’re not talking to me.

They could handle random little requests and make sure things get fulfilled without getting lost among hundreds of other messages.

Transparency is really important.

Bots are another issue.

I’m not saying bots are completely bad.

If there’s a link to one of my videos and an automatic bot triggers when somebody types something because they want that video, and it’s clearly disclosed that it’s automated, that can work really well.

But when somebody is speaking to someone who isn’t actually the creator, and they’re paying for that interaction without knowing it, I think that’s really unfair.

If you keep the business side separate, especially for someone like me who wants to stay personally connected to fans, an assistant could handle things like sending out videos or letting someone know when I’m available.

At least then they know they’re not speaking to me.

They know they’re being looked after, but they’re not being misled.

I care about them, but at the end of the day, there is also a business side to this.

For something like sending out content or handling a request, that’s different from the personal stuff.

When it comes to video calls, sexting, or personal interactions, I want that to stay personal.

That’s also my job.

I’ve earned an income from this, and charging appropriately filters out a lot of people who are just trying to get something for free.

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9. Using NSFW AI for Content Creation

Guest: Tatted Ava

Have you ever used Grok?

It’s the AI from xAI.

It has a section where you can talk to different types of AI.

There are different categories, including an “Unhinged 18+” option, along with other adult-oriented personalities.

The unhinged one is fucking wild.

It’s literally called “Unhinged,” and it is perfect.

I asked it to tell me a story about having sex in public, and it went completely insane.

It came back with this ridiculously elaborate story involving a crowded city square, a fountain, and a sexual encounter in public.

I’m like, “What the fuck?”

It is genuinely unhinged.

You can ask it a simple question, and it comes back with an entire story.

I asked it for a story about me randomly having sex in public, and it went completely over the top.

The whole thing was ridiculous.

You could use something like that for inspiration if you’re not particularly creative or if you need ideas for stories, lines, or scenarios.

I don’t have a real hot story about having sex in public.

I’ve had sex in public before, but the stories aren’t necessarily that amazing.

I’m also not the best storyteller.

The AI is awesome for that.

There are also romantic and argumentative adult options.

You can literally have an argument with the AI, and it will just argue with you the whole time.

It’s actually fun just to see where the conversation goes.

It’s easy to get sucked into something like that because it’s entertaining.

You ask it one simple question, and it creates an entire scenario.

It’s definitely something that could be useful for coming up with creative ideas.

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10. Livestreaming Advice from Expert Cam Model

Guest: Tatted Ava

Do you have a niche?

I do.

I’m a really big dirty talker.

You probably wouldn’t have guessed that from the conversation, but that’s what I’m known for.

If you go to CamSoda and see me there, this is what you expect.

That’s important for any models who are watching because it can help you find your people much quicker and be more successful on whatever site you’re using.

I’ve established what I do.

When people come into my room, they know exactly what they’re getting.

I give them a reason to come back.

I’m not all over the place.

I do this one thing, and people know they’re going to get it.

I’m a big dirty talker.

My niche is basically being the biggest slut, the super-submissive, slutty, dirty-talking freak.

That’s my role.

That’s what I’m known for.

When you come into my room, you know what you’re getting.

As soon as I press broadcast, I’m dirty-talking the entire time.

I don’t just sit there.

As soon as I hit broadcast, I’m going.

I’ve learned that the longer you wait around, the longer the money is going to take to come.

I like to work in a short amount of time and exert more energy in that shorter period.

I typically cam for about an hour and a half and make my goal.

An hour and a half doesn’t sound like a long time for live camming.

It seems like you’d have to be there for a while to hit your goal.

But I’ve got ADHD.

My mind constantly needs to go.

I need to be doing things.

CamSoda is similar to Chaturbate in that you have free chat and people can watch without tipping.

But I don’t just press start and immediately put everything on camera.

I’ll tease the fuck out of you until you tip for it.

I’ll verbally encourage it through dirty talk.

Psychologically, I’m putting the idea in their mind without actually showing it to them.

So you’re psychologically manipulating these guys?

Yeah.

It’s manipulation.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

They’re looking for this.

They’re there because they want this experience.

Do you read the chat while you’re doing that and pick up on things you can use?

Yeah.

When I’m camming, I look at myself a lot.

I watch myself because I can see how seductive I’m being.

I can watch myself perform.

With the chat, I talk to whoever tips me.

You’re teaching the chat how to treat you.

When you’re camming, you teach people how to treat you.

If you’re just talking to people who don’t pay, they’re going to think they can sit there and talk to you for free all night.

I’ll say hi once or twice.

If somebody says, “Hey,” I’ll say something like, “Hey, are you ready to play with me? I’m so fucking horny.”

That gets things going.

If they don’t tip, I won’t talk to them again.

If somebody else tips, I’ll pay attention to them.

It teaches them, “Oh, I need to pay.”

I’ve never heard it explained that way before, but it makes total sense.

You teach them.

You teach people how to treat you.

You control the room.

You have to communicate with the chat without necessarily saying it outright.

I learned that over four years of camming.

I continue to do the things that work.

I analyze a lot when I’m working.

I’m watching and picking up on things.

When I find something that works, I keep doing it.

That’s what I’ve created over the years.

It wasn’t always like that.

I used to cam for seven hours a day.

I wasn’t always an hour-and-a-half or two-hour streamer.

I used to work Monday through Sunday, every day, hardcore.

I have a lot of hours behind me, and I’ve just learned how to do it.

You have to put in the hours in the beginning.

It takes time to get to this point.

It’s taken me four years to adjust.

When you started out doing seven hours a day, you weren’t just clocking in and out.

You were analyzing what worked.

Exactly.

It’s an art.

Everybody has their own style.

The way I look at it is that it’s your own world.

As soon as somebody clicks on your broadcast, they don’t know anything behind that screen.

They don’t know what else is beyond your room.

They don’t know who you are.

You get to create this world.

You choose how you want to be perceived.

That has helped me with camming.

It’s all about control.

You’re in control.

When I first started, I used to just sit there in a sexy outfit.

I’d touch myself a little bit and it felt like it went on forever.

That’s why it took me so long.

I hadn’t found my confidence yet.

I hadn’t found my niche.

I hadn’t found myself.

It took me a long time to figure out who I was in the sex industry.

I was still super young.

I didn’t have a certain look.

I had some tattoos. I was having babies, not having babies. It was just a wild ride getting to this point.

But yeah, seven hours was exhausting.

Energy drinks were basically my backbone.

In the beginning, I didn’t truly understand how the business worked.

I used to just talk to people.

I thought, “Just talk to them.”

So I’d talk to people for free for hours.

I didn’t know how to control the room.

I figured, “I’ll just talk and eventually they’ll tip.”

But I was doing things for free in the hope that they would pay.

It was a mess.

We all start somewhere.

That was part of the journey.

The transition happened when I got fed up.

Sometimes you have to get your belly full.

I was working all these hours and thinking, “I’m still making money, but I should be making so much more.”

I started realizing that people were taking advantage of me.

They were talking to me without paying.

They were asking me to do things for free.

It took me a while to understand that they were taking advantage of me because they knew I was newer.

I eventually got fed up.

I started finding my confidence and my boundaries in camming.

That was what switched things for me.

It wasn’t one specific moment.

It gradually happened over time.

I started thinking, “No. You’re going to pay for this.”

I started valuing myself and my time more.

That’s what did it for me.

I haven’t looked back since.

For example, someone might say, “Show me your tits.”

I used to say, “Okay,” and do it, hoping they would pay.

Eventually I learned to turn that around.

I’d say, “Of course I’d love to show you. You know how to get it. Look at my tip menu.”

I’d affirm what they wanted and then encourage them to pay.

“I’d love to show you my ass. Go to the tip menu.”

That’s how I transitioned.

You say yes, but you direct them toward the action that actually gets you paid.

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11. Cam Model Makes Millions on OnlyFans

Guest: Lucy Banks

OnlyFans isn’t like Chaturbate, Streamate, and the other cam sites where they can put you on a front page.

With OnlyFans, you have to promote yourself.

That’s the hardest part.

Everyone says, “I’m poor. I’ll go join OnlyFans.”

Or, “OnlyFans is so easy.”

I always say, “Go try it. Go try it and come back and tell me the same thing.”

It is such a hard slog.

You’ve got to hustle for every single follower.

There’s no Explore page.

There’s no real way for people to find your link unless you’re putting it out there.

That’s why social media is what I recommend everybody starts with.

It’s free, and there’s potential for you to scale very quickly if you do it right.

I grew on social media to a certain point, and then I started doing media.

I did news articles.

I tried to find a publicist, but nobody would work with me.

So I learned how to do it myself.

Honestly, that’s where most of my success came from in the end.

It was the media, not Instagram.

At my peak, I had around 104,000 followers, which is nothing compared to girls who have millions.

But I was earning more because I was bringing audiences in from different places through the media exposure I received.

So you didn’t focus entirely on OnlyFans?

No.

I focused on social media and media.

What’s the point of having the best OnlyFans in the world if nobody can see it?

A lot of people get caught up in, “I need to make all this content. I need to do these collaborations.”

Yes, that’s important.

But you also need to focus on the things that come before that.

You’ve got to bring people to your OnlyFans.

So how did you do that?

I started in 2019, so the game has changed.

I started on Instagram and grew there.

Then TikTok became a thing during COVID, and I grew on TikTok.

The problem with being a creator in this industry is that you’re constantly being deplatformed.

Like every other girl, I’ve lost TikToks and Instagrams.

That’s where PR comes into it.

No matter how many Instagram accounts I lose, people can Google Lucy Banks and still find me.

PR doesn’t go away.

That’s longevity.

Even now, you can Google my name and the articles still come up.

You can follow the breadcrumbs and find my social media.

I’m not a creator anymore, but there’s still a digital footprint.

There’s a lot of power in that.

That’s really how I grew.

Number one was social media.

Then I wanted to do something different.

Leveraging PR was a game changer for me.

There was one week where I think I gained around 20,000 Instagram followers from one article.

Then there’s the flow-on effect to OnlyFans.

There are definitely ways inside OnlyFans to promote yourself, like shout-outs and collaborations, but you’re never going to have that same consistency unless you’ve got an active funnel bringing people in.

How Lucy Used PR to Grow

I didn’t start doing PR straight away.

I was probably about 18 months into my OnlyFans journey.

I started writing press releases, Googling journalists’ email addresses, and sending them out.

Then I found a software platform that would mass-send pictures for me.

I worked with them for about six months, until they eventually said they weren’t promoting OnlyFans anymore.

But during those six months, I made really strong connections with journalists.

Eventually, they were reaching out to me.

I had their contact details, so I kept riding that wave.

The best months I had on OnlyFans were when I had articles going viral.

There was a direct correlation between the two.

Sometimes on social media, you can have a TikTok go viral, but it doesn’t necessarily convert into subscribers.

Everyone is different.

For me, the conversion was much stronger with PR.

Finding Your Story

Every article was different.

I looked at it as:

“What’s my story? What’s special about me? What would people want to read about? What’s clickable?”

I always pushed myself as the OnlyFans mum.

My story was about juggling motherhood while being a well-known online creator.

That included things like people calling the police or child protection because I did OnlyFans.

I had to move because people found out where I lived.

There was also my journey from being a broke single mom to earning money through content creation, and doing it unapologetically.

That was my niche.

That was who I was.

Then other things happened that became media stories.

For example, my car was broken into after a collaboration.

Someone stole my suitcase full of my OnlyFans equipment and things.

It became part of the story.

But everything always came back to:

“This is Lucy Banks. This is her story. This is the OnlyFans mum.”

It has to be strategic.

If I put out a press release about something completely unrelated to me, nobody is going to pick it up.

A lot of people think they can just get into the media for no reason.

These days, it’s becoming more and more saturated.

Back then, I was one of the only OnlyFans people regularly appearing in the news.

Now there are lots of creators trying to get into the news.

You have to ask:

“What’s your story, and how are we going to get that across?”

Sometimes people have great stories, but they don’t land with the media.

It’s trial and error.

You have to be willing to pivot when it comes to PR.

At least try.

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12. The Importance of Building Your Brand

Guest: Lucy Banks

Talk about Million Billion Media.

Million Billion Media is a PR and marketing agency for OnlyFans creators, people in the adult industry, sex-tech startups, and anyone doing something that’s a little cheeky or spicy.

Our job is to help people grow, make connections, and build partnerships that will propel their business.

We do not do OnlyFans management.

If you think of your business as a funnel, you’ve got your OnlyFans account at the bottom.

You can manage that yourself or work with an OnlyFans management agency.

We work above that.

Our job is to build the funnel and get eyes on the link.

It’s the creator’s job to convert those people into sales in whatever way works for them.

We do work with other agencies and can recommend management companies when appropriate, but that’s not what we do.

We handle everything beforehand.

Sometimes that’s media and news articles, like what I did.

Sometimes it’s getting clients onto podcasts.

Sometimes we audit their social media and say, “Okay, you’ve got to fix this, this, and this.”

Sometimes it’s SEO.

There’s a lot of different facets, and every client requires something different.

That’s what I love about it.

Everybody’s different.

Everyone’s goals are different.

Some clients say, “I’m going to do this for as long as possible. Make me as much money as possible.”

Other people say, “I’m going to be out in two years, and then I want to be a painter.”

Okay.

Then what are we doing now to make sure you can exit with what you need to go and do what you want?

I like to think of it as an A-to-Z agency.

We can help people who are just starting out.

We’ve got packages available.

We’re also launching the Creator Cash Club, which is a membership people can join for $199.

It’s a Discord channel packed with information, knowledge, and value.

My idea is that these people will grow and eventually become Million Billion Media clients.

And if they don’t, that’s fine.

I’ll still be able to help them grow.

Creator Cash Club can also be relevant to larger creators.

You don’t necessarily need PR or marketing until you’re at the point where you’re saying, “Okay, I need to get to the next level.”

We do a little bit of everything.

It’s incredibly rewarding to see people grow and see their names in the media.

Making Money For Creators, Not From Them

There are a lot of people online, particularly guys, who tell creators how to grow their OnlyFans or cam business despite having no real experience in the industry.

They’ll repeat the same generic advice.

They’ve got the rented private jets, the Rolexes, and all that bullshit.

If I were a creator looking at that, I’d think:

“Okay, so you make money off girls. What are you actually doing for the girls?”

There are some agencies that are fantastic.

I work with some men who do incredible work.

But I think a lot of agencies focus primarily on making money.

They don’t necessarily care about the creator’s long-term goals.

They don’t think about their exit strategy.

They don’t ask whether they’re investing their money or taking care of their mental health.

I’ve been there.

I approach business with a hybrid energy of feminine and masculine.

I’m also a mom, so I care about people.

I want them to grow sustainably and in a way that’s healthy for them.

And that looks different for everybody.

That’s why we don’t take a percentage of their OnlyFans.

We work on a retainer.

That’s what you pay every month.

Some months we may work extremely hard for a client because something big is happening.

I’m not going to charge them extra because that’s what we agreed to.

I want to make money for them, not from them.

Our retainers start at around $4,000 or $5,000 per month.

There are different packages depending on your goals and where you are in your journey.

The idea is:

“This is what we’re going to do for you every month.”

They pay that amount every month, regardless of how many hours we end up working.

Sometimes there’s a quiet month.

Sometimes there’s a huge month.

It balances out.

You always have a team behind you trying to propel you forward.

Sometimes a client will pop off in the first month.

Sometimes it takes six months.

Once they go viral and things take off, they’re earning much more than the retainer.

PR doesn’t work for everybody.

That’s okay.

I like the retainer model because if we need to work harder for you, I’m not going to charge you more.

And if you make a ton of money because of the work we’ve done, I love that for you.

That’s yours.

You’re paying us to do a job.

You’re not paying us based on your success.

What If a Creator Doesn’t Have a Clear Brand?

What about cam girls who don’t have a strong social media presence, business knowledge, or an obvious personality?

How do you work with them?

That’s actually a really great question because we come across this.

Someone might come to us saying, “We want PR and marketing.”

And I might look at them and think, “There’s nothing interesting about you.”

That’s not meant as an insult.

I don’t make the rules.

Sometimes that’s just the reality.

So we have a conversation.

What’s your goal?

Do you want to cam for one year, three years, five years, or the rest of your life?

What do you want to do?

Let’s say someone says, “I want to do this for two years and buy a house.”

Okay.

How do we reverse-engineer that goal?

We look at what they’re doing now.

Maybe they’re making $1,000 a month but need to make $5,000.

If they’re making $1,000, someone is finding them interesting.

There’s something happening.

We figure out where that $1,000 is coming from.

Is it subscriptions?

PPV?

Custom content?

What’s working?

Then we double down on that.

It might not even be PR.

Maybe they have a small subscriber base but are extremely good at getting a lot of money from those subscribers.

Then the strategy is to go deeper instead of wider.

I’m a big believer that everyone has the potential to be successful.

But everyone’s version of success is going to look different.

That’s why you can’t just tell everyone:

“Do this, do this, do this.”

If that one formula made everyone successful, everyone would already be doing it.

It doesn’t work like that.

The strategy needs to be specific to the person.

That’s why I created Creator Cash Club.

It’s about having those conversations and learning from each other.

It’s a Discord channel where everyone can bounce ideas off one another.

You can’t beat that kind of feedback.

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13. Pros & Cons of Being a Cam Model

There are pros and cons to anything you do in life.

One of the biggest cons of this job is that sex workers are some of the most judged people on the planet.

We’re targets for people who hate sex workers for a multitude of reasons.

So, as Anita said, you have to have tough skin.

But there are also a lot of pros.

One of the biggest is that we get to make our own schedules.

We get up when we want.

We go to bed when we want.

We can travel because our job can be done from anywhere in the world.

There are some things you need to be careful about when traveling, because different countries have different laws regarding pornography and adult content, but being able to travel is fantastic.

Another major benefit is that you’re in charge of how much money you make.

Nobody tells you that you make $10 an hour.

You can make as much or as little as you want.

Another potential con is conflict with family members.

My advice is that I don’t let my family dictate what I do with my life.

You can love me unconditionally, or you can kindly fuck off.

That works for me.

I don’t care whether someone accepts what I do.

Another potential risk comes from working with other people.

If you’re not getting tested or you’re working with unsafe partners and engaging in sexual activity or fluid exchange, there are health risks.

I definitely recommend being selective, careful, and getting tested.

If you’re working with partners, make sure they’re getting tested, too.

And honestly, even outside this industry, if you’re sexually active, you should be getting tested and practicing safer sex.

The Pros of the Industry

Another major pro for me has been finding my confidence and building my self-esteem.

I’ve also learned a bunch of skills that give me the ability to freelance and work independently for the rest of my life, whether I’m in this industry or not.

We’re even working on seminars about building your resume and taking the things you’ve learned in this industry and turning those skills into things that can make you money long-term.

I also overcame my fear of public speaking.

Now I can get on stage in front of thousands of people to host a fashion show.

I do seminars.

I can be the entertainer I want to be.

There are lots of pros.

Honestly, I think there are more pros than cons.

It also makes a big difference when you focus on the positives instead of constantly focusing on the negatives.

If you want to find something negative, that’s easy.

Finding negatives in situations is always easy.

The challenge is finding the positives and then expanding on them.

Another benefit is that the skills you develop can translate into other businesses.

If you stopped everything you’re doing today, you could probably move into another business because you’ve become an entrepreneur.

You develop confidence.

You learn marketing.

You learn communication.

You learn how to sell.

You learn how to build a brand.

You learn how to deal with customers.

Those skills don’t disappear if you leave the industry.

It’s very freeing and empowering to know that this business isn’t going anywhere.

If you decide you don’t want to do this anymore and want to enter the nine-to-five world, you’ve still learned things that can help you elsewhere.

The Internet Is Forever

There are also a couple more cons.

Once you’re on the internet, you’re forever on the internet.

Going back into the nine-to-five world means you run the risk of someone finding your past work and potentially using it against you.

Some jobs may consider that a conflict of interest.

If you haven’t started in this industry yet, definitely be aware of that before you get into it.

Once you put something on the internet, it can be extremely difficult to make it disappear completely.

There’s even the Wayback Machine.

No matter how much you try to delete something, copies or records may still exist somewhere online.

Your digital footprint can follow you.

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14. The Hardest Part About Being a Cam Model

Guest: Anita Valentina

What would you say are some of the challenges of being a cam girl?

I think the main one for me is the inconsistency in how much you earn.

One day it can be $5.

The next day it can be $1,000.

It varies.

Managing my money is a big part of it.

I also do phone sex, camming, and solo content.

I think learning how to balance all of those things is challenging.

You have to plan ahead and schedule your content without becoming overwhelmed by all the different parts of the industry.

Another challenge is balancing my online persona with my life in person.

I tell people what I do, but I’m cautious about who I tell.

I have to be careful because you don’t always know how strangers are going to react.

Sometimes I can’t be completely honest with people because I’m wary of how they’ll respond.

That’s one of the challenging parts in my personal life.

Protecting Your Identity

That’s part of the job that a lot of people don’t realize.

You have to protect your identity.

In some ways, you have to become a professional liar.

On one hand, we’re selling a fantasy.

Sometimes we’re not feeling sexy.

Sometimes we’re not actually doing the things we’re saying we’re doing.

But we’re on a call or engaging with somebody and facilitating their fantasy.

In that sense, it can feel like a lie.

You might also expand on certain things within your persona that don’t exactly align with who you really are.

But that’s the same as acting.

If a Hollywood actor plays a police officer in a movie, that doesn’t mean they actually think they’re a police officer.

They’re playing a role.

That’s how I learned to think about it.

For a while, I felt like I was being disingenuous or inauthentic if I wasn’t being myself.

But the truth is, I can’t always be completely myself.

I can’t give someone my real name.

I can’t give them my address.

There are a lot of facts about our online personalities that have to be protected for our own safety and the safety of our loved ones.

You can’t meet someone and immediately tell them, “I’m a webcam model,” or “I’m a porn star.”

You don’t know how they’re going to react.

Sometimes they’ll be fascinated.

Sometimes they’ll be judgmental.

Sometimes they’ll become creepy.

You just don’t know.

Boundaries at Adult Expos

I saw that firsthand when I went to the AVN Expo for the first time.

It was a fun experience going to the expo and awards.

One thing I noticed was that everyone knew the people walking around probably made porn.

It was also the first time I’d really seen people’s reactions to me making porn.

People felt very comfortable being outwardly sexual.

That’s fine to a point.

But some guys took it too far.

It made me scared to tell people in public what I do because you don’t know how certain people are going to react.

It’s not something that’s widely discussed, but it’s a real part of the experience.

I’m extremely cautious about reading people.

Sometimes people get super excited when they find out.

Other times, they cross boundaries.

What do you mean by crossing boundaries?

Being creepy or having no boundaries.

I’ve been going to expos since 2008, and consent is still a huge topic of conversation.

People sometimes walk into an adult expo and seem to think that everyone there is automatically consenting to sexual attention.

That’s not how it works.

You can be in a sexually positive environment surrounded by beautiful people, but simply being there does not mean you have consent to touch, grab, or put your hands on someone.

I was fine with people coming up and being nice or complimenting my outfit.

But there was a guy who put his hand up my skirt.

One of my friends pulled him away and was ready to fight him.

That’s not okay.

You can look.

Don’t touch.

I didn’t ask you to touch me.

I wasn’t taking pictures with you.

I was at a party.

That’s not cool.

There’s a difference between being creepy and giving someone a compliment.

Being at an adult event doesn’t give anyone a free pass.

The guy was dealt with by security, but it was a reminder that alcohol and these environments can create situations where people need to be extra careful.

I’m very cautious when I go to bars and places like that.

You never know someone’s reaction or intentions.

I read people.

I think before I tell someone anything personal.

And honestly, it’s not everyone’s business.

When Should You Tell Someone You’re Dating?

I’ve had conversations with friends about when you should tell someone you’re dating what you do.

My answer is simple:

You tell them when you’re fucking ready to tell them.

Whether that’s before you have sex, after you’ve started dating, or at some other point in the relationship, you tell them when you feel comfortable.

If someone genuinely cares about you, they’ll understand that there was a reason you didn’t immediately tell them.

It’s not necessarily because you’re hiding something.

It’s because you have to consider what they’re going to do with that information.

If you tell someone too soon, it can change the entire dynamic.

There are certain parts of getting to know somebody that I’m going to share when I’m ready, and they don’t get to dictate when that is.

I do.

When something is sensitive and could potentially put me in danger, the other person should understand why I needed to be careful.

Gary’s Perspective

What do you think, Gary?

If you were dating someone in this industry and you’d already been together a while, would you be upset if they eventually told you they shot porn or were a cam model?

No.

Camming itself wouldn’t bother me.

But if I’m sticking my dick in you and other guys are also sticking their dick in you, I want to know.

That’s a different thing in my brain.

It’s not disrespect toward the person.

It’s just how I think about it.

There have been other guys before you, and there will be guys after you.

Just not at the same time.

That’s where my brain draws the line.

And then the conversation takes a very questionable turn…

I’ve had a story about meeting a guy we’d been talking to for a couple of weeks.

I thought, “You know what? Your girl needs some V.”

So he came over, and after we hooked up, I realized it wasn’t going to work for me.

So I called one of my regulars.

I said, “Yo, I’m coming over.”

He said, “Well, I have company.”

I said, “Kick the bitch out. I’m coming.”

He said, “Well, damn.”

I said, “Take me while I’m hot.”

He said, “I’ll see you in an hour.”

I said, “All right, cool.”

I went home, took a bath, scrubbed myself clean, and went over there.

I got what I came for.

You can get double.

You know what I’m saying?

It was good.

Well, listen, you dirty whores.

I’m a good Christian boy, and I like seven days between dick downs.

A good Christian boy?

Get the fuck out of here.

You’re full of shit.

That’s what you are.

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